Thor x Reader

Thirteen

"We have a lot to talk about.", you crossed your arms in front of your chest.

Out of the corner of his eye, Thor gave you a look of approval. He nodded.

It amazed you how much someone could change.

Back then, he had been full of life and energy. Whenever you had been around him, you had felt his pride.

Now he was tired, almost old. A strange thought, considering that gods never grew old. They were immortal and would have for all eternity the very body they themselves had created.

Thor was the equivalent of a human man who could be just forty. He was not old at all.

And yet he was so exhausted. He was no longer the man you were once supposed to marry.

Somehow you felt pity for him. Probably no one had cared for him for a long time. They all thought only of themselves.

"I'm not here for Allfather.", he assured you once more, looking up at the stars again.

It seemed to you that he was trying to avoid your face. As if he couldn't bear to look at you.

Why did this thought hurt you so much?

A deep breath escaped your lips.

"Words. So many words.", you had to huff. "Your words always had been soft, charming, soothing. But in the end they were worth nothing."

You glanced at him.

He didn't move. His eyes were glued to the silver of the night. They seemed to almost tremble.

"Apologies won't make my mistakes undone.", he said. "But I regret that I hurt you. Truly."

It sounded like he was willing to finally take the blame. He wanted to be accountable.

But it was too late.

Far too late.

Taking a deep breath, you turned to the moon.

"I won't accept those words.", you smiled bitterly. "But I'll take them as a token of your good will. Now, tell me, why did you seek me in my chambers?"

For a long, uncomfortably long moment he said nothing more.

All you could hear from him was his strained breathing and the howling of the wind.

It smelled like a thunderstorm in the night.

Rain. Lightning. Electricity.

Memories of nights came back to you when Thor had lit up the night with Mjölnir. Just for you he had painted the clouds with magic.

Thunder had created songs of the unknown. Everything had been blue. As if the sea had merged with the sky.

He had even formed animals from his lightning.

You knew that for a time he had conjured his form of art for his sons too. It was only when Thrud, his youngest daughter, was born that Sif had forbidden him to call upon his lightning near the children.

She had been afraid he would hurt the children.

This alone was proof that she could not love him as she had led others to believe.

If the god of thunder was forbidden lightning, what was left of him?

A broken man, at least that was exactly what you could see in him.

Maybe it was just the vanity in you but you believed that if he had not left your side then he would not be such a shadow of himself now.