Thor x Reader

Thirty-One

It was not easy to reach the highest point of the world tree. Usually, all kinds of vermin could be found in the densely overgrown branches, keeping the tree clean and nourishing the spawn of the lizard that was supposed to protect it.

But for some reason you hadn't seen the blue-scaled reptile for some time. This had its advantages and disadvantages, for this time you and Thor reached the top more easily than last time.

Panting, you grabbed one of the branches to pull yourself up onto the plateau that had been built at the very top so that Odin could have a view of all the kingdoms.

He had once built it in his madness to fathom all the secrets of space and time. But he had quickly become bored and, like so many things, had neglected it.

Tyr had liked to use it to create a little peace for your lessons. In this very place you had learned to use stars as signposts and to form maps from them.

Sometimes he had even shown you how to catch shooting stars. The dust had been a powerful additive for weapons. Or you had been able to make iridescent ink out of it. Tyr had favoured the ink.

For all its usefulness in the past, the plateau was now only a shadow of its former self. The solid wood from which it was once built began to splinter.

Revelling in old memories, you stroked the colour of faded paintings with the palm of your hand.

"Tyr painted this with his bare hands.", you said, frowning. "I never understood why he drew us. We weren't promised to each other then."

Curious, Thor came closer to take a look over your shoulder. His eyes followed the coloured lines for a moment. Then he drew back again to settle at the edge of the platform.

Stars passed in infinity. Violet mingled with blue and black. Stars danced around like liquid silver.

"Tyr has always had strange ways.", he said, taking a deep breath. "You can see Midgar from here."

"And Jötunheim.", you sat down beside him and crossed your legs. "It must have bothered Odin that he could see the world but not enter it."

"What is there to see, anyway? The giants are all dead.", bitterness could be heard in his voice.

A cold shiver ran down your spine as you remembered that it had been Thor who had slaughtered all the inhabitants of Jötunheim by order of the Allfather.

Your eyes jumped to his hands resting quietly in his lap.

Never before had you seen Thor kill. He had always avoided violence in your presence, especially because he knew that you followed Tyr's peaceful teachings more than you wanted to admit.

He knew that you were not born to kill. Quite the opposite of him. That's why he wanted to spare you the sight of blood and destruction.

You could hardly imagine that the hands that had always been so gentle and loving towards you had once been soaked in the blood of giants.

The memory must still be burned deep into his mind. His fingers moved a little as he thought about it.

You could see it in his eyes. With a gentle yet sad smile, you took his hand and squeezed it.

You expected him to pull away, but you asked him not to touch him.

But he did not.

Without hesitation, he wrapped his fingers around your hand and lifted it to his lips to breathe a kiss on the back of your hand.

"Nothing can be undone.", he said as his thumb stroked your soft skin. "The guilt will always stick in my flesh like a thorn."

His eyes moved to you.

With a sigh you squeezed your eyes shut and let your head fall against his shoulder.

"Would you like pity?", you asked. "Or just an open ear?"

"Either shall be enough for me. For a long time I have had neither."

"Your wife?"

"Loves me as much as the All-Father.", he snorted contemptuously. "As long as I do her bidding, she kisses me. Says she would understand."

The echo of his breath pressed against your ear. Gently his shoulders rose and fell as he stared into the void.

Stars twinkled in the blue of his eyes.

"There will never be a happy ending for us.", you whispered with a soft huff as tears glazed your eyes.

"I am sorry."

"You say that like it's your fault."

"Isn't it?"

You swallowed hard.

Tyr had always said that one could not blame fate, for it was only the answer to all the questions and uncertain deeds that people themselves carried out into the world. You yourself were responsible for what would happen. Fate was only a reaction to everything.

According to this principle, you would both be to blame, just as the Allfather was to blame for cutting cracks in your fundament. And Sif, for forcing herself through those cracks into your midst.

No matter what you answered, it wouldn't make anything better. And if you answered nothing, it wouldn't be any worse.

"How would it have turned out?", Thor suddenly asked into the silence of the stars.

You shook your head wearily.

"Don't wonder about if and when.", you murmur and open your eyes a little to give him a kiss on the cheek. "There's no point in mourning things that never will be."

"Hm...", his gaze darkened, his head turned away from the stars and towards you.

For a long moment you two looked into each other's eyes. The blue of his iris seemed to spark while the (E/C) of your eyes glazed over.

Suddenly your heart felt so soft. Not only because you felt pity for him but also because he had always hit a spot in your heart that you couldn't resist for long.

"Is it too late?", he asked, leaning forward so that your foreheads pressed together.

A soft chuckle escaped you as you grabbed his face with both hands.

"Much too late.", you whispered and kissed him. "Much, much too late."