Thor x Reader

Twenty-Six

A soft chuckle made Thor's chest quiver. The vibration crawled under your skin like a parasite and made your spine tremble. Goosebumps ran down your arms.

"I never lied to you.", he said, raising a hand to play with the strands of your (H/C) hair. "I could never lie to you. You're too smart for me, my quill. No matter how much I build my lie, you can spot it immediately."

A bitter snort escaped you.

"You've always been like an open book.", you wanted to turn away from him, but your body had already fallen to his touch.

He shook his head. As he did so, the hairs of his beard scratched the crook of your neck.

"Only for you."

You frowned.

"Sif seems to read you just as well.", her name was enough to make you curl your lips in disgust.

A low hum got stuck in his throat.

"She knows the god of thunder.", he said and lowered his head to rest it on your shoulder. "She doesn't know me."

From the corner of your eyes you examined him for a moment.

Even though you hated how close he tried to get to you again, you couldn't deny that this was a moment of comfort and communication. Too many years had you avoided moments like these.

And now that it was here, there were so many words boiling up inside of you.

The desire to scream at him grew.

You wanted to spit in this bearded face of his.

But at the same time there was this desire to kiss his lips and taste the faint hint of iron on his tongue.

You still loved him. Or at least your heart was still trying to hold onto the memories of his younger self. But your pride was hurt more than anything. And your dignity knew that going back was not an option.

It never would be. But perhaps there could finally be an end. A clean cut.

And yet.

Your tongue peaked out from between your lips to run along them for moisture.

"(Y/N)...", Thor gifted you a soft smile, an honest to heart smile. "I do not ask for forgiveness."

Sucking in a sharp breath, you turned your gaze away.

"What are you asking for then?", it was hard to hide your declining patience in your words.

For a moment, he needed to consider his words. He knew the importance of honesty in this. And he also knew that sometimes his choice of words didn't do his intentions justice.

"A second chance?", he asked in a whisper.

"Don't you think a second chance means forgiveness?"

"Perhaps. Yes. I'm not sure."

"When are you ever sure?", you snorted with bitterness.

"You.", Thor raised his head to place a gentle kiss on your cheek. "I've never doubted you. My love for us."

"Your love for me couldn't have been strong since it was easily replaced by Sif's womb."

He swallowed hard.

You could tell by the simple sound of his breathing how he struggled for the right answer. He wanted to justify his actions. Yet he knew there was no making it better.

It almost made you laugh out loud.

After a long pause, you suddenly felt his hand wrap around your waist and close. For a moment you were afraid he might want to break your ribs.

But his touch was too gentle for that. Almost loving.

With loving strength he pulled you to his chest so that you were forced to look up at him.

Electric blue dug into your trembling (E/C) orbs.

With bated breath you withstood his gaze. Until a smile brightened his face.

The beating of his heart pressed into your spine.

"Exactly.", he whispered, grabbing your cheek with his other hand to prevent you from avoiding him as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "She could never have replaced you. I needed her ability to bear children."

All of a sudden a sharp pain pierced your chest. It was so harsh and sudden that you believed your heart was about to burst.

"So I lost against someone way worse than me just because of birthing abilities?", you asked and smiled to hide the worst kind of suffering that burned inside your eyes.

All these years you had been searching for an answer. All these years you had delusionally convinced yourself that it could not have been such a trivial reason.

The ability to reproduce. Children of blood.

Had it been such a weak argument that had made you worthless?

Within the breath of a second the softness on his face faded. Instead, realisation lit up inside his eyes.

"Odin forced me!", he gasped hoarsely. "He told me if I didn't give more to the family he would kill you."

With your teeth clenched in anger, you freed yourself from his embrace.

He let you slip away, even allowing you to scream in his face. But he didn't stay still when you tried to flee from him.

"Odin is not always to blame for everything!", you scream, your face hot with anger. "You made these poor decisions!"

"What should I have done, (Y/N)?", he asked with as much desperation in his voice as in your eyes. "Let him kill you? My children were destined to fight in Ragnarok. Odin wanted an army from me."

"An army that you killed nonetheless!"

Suddenly, the world seemed to fall silent.

All at once, his face went blank.

Lightning faded and darkness fell. The air seemed to be as cold as ice.

The hairs in the back of your neck stood up straight.

By the look on his face you knew that it wouldn't be wise to test his patience. But you couldn't help it.

There were so many words piling up inside of you. You needed to tell him for once.

Even if it would be the very last thing you did.

"You killed your own son.", you said with clenched teeth and tears burning in your eyes. "A son that I loved like my own. You killed our boy!"

Slowly, he shook his head. But it was obvious that Thor couldn't even convince himself.

"I just...", he took a step back.

"You struck him down with Mjölnir. So he fled. If you wouldn't have done that the might have survived. But you were impatient. Not understanding. Just because the Allfather demanded it. Because you're a fool, Thor. And it hurts everyone you claim to love."