All I Want 3

•4•

A/N: I'm gonna go ahead and basically just put a trigger warning on the rest of this book. Mental health will be heavily discussed in detail, so if that makes you uncomfortable it's probably best you stop reading now.

I have no reason to stress about the trial today. It's going to go smoothly, just like we planned. Maybe it would have been easier to do this before my life had fallen apart, I don't know. All I know is that I have a sinking feeling in my stomach, I think I'm going to throw up. And after vomiting from morning sickness for a while, then vomiting as a trauma response, I'm really just sick of it. I just want to feel normal again.

"Okay here let me zip you up," Stass says as she pulls at the zipper on the back of my dress. I think Sam had told them about the other day because ever since then Haz and Stass have been highly attentive to me. I love them, but they have their own lives to worry about. I don't want them worrying about me. Yes, I had one moment of weakness but I'm going to be fine now. I just really don't want people to stop their life just to take care of mine.

"I don't think I can do this. I don't feel good." I sigh.
"You've got it, Lia. It'll be over soon and everything will be okay. I promise." She assures me. But it's anything but assuring.
"No.. seriously Stass. I don't feel good." I say as I feel pressure in my head and a heaviness in my legs. what is going on with me? Am I having a panic attack?
"Haz!" Stass calls.
Haz is quick to make his way into the room, and the feeling gets worse. I grasp Stassies hand tightly with mine, trying to regain my balance, but it doesn't work. I start to panic, but I can only let my mind wander so far until it goes blank. And everything goes black.

•Toms Pov•
"God fucking dammit," I mutter to myself as I attempt to get my tie in the right place. I've never had issues tying a tie before, but today I'm stressed and overwhelmed. Not just for the trial, but for Lia. I know how being around Derek affects her, and today is going to be very difficult for her.
"Here.. let me help," Sarah says.
Sarah is my newest assistant. Since I've been busy and working from home for a few days, she's been coming here to help out with organizing my at-home office and taking my phone calls so I can really focus.

"Thank you," I say as she straightens out my tie.
"Of course. You look great." She smiles.
I never wanted to have female assistants before because I didn't want to make Lia uncomfortable, but they do the job so much better. Women just seem to be more attentive and care more. I was very quick to hire Sarah, and I don't regret it at all. She's amazing at her job, she works hard, and she does everything she can to please me. It's quite the change from my last assistant. He sucked.

My phone begins to ring, and Sarah is quick to grab it.
"I can answer it," I say, holding out my hand.
She seemed almost disappointed as she hands the phone over, and I read the contact. Stassie is calling. Shouldn't she be busy getting to the courthouse with Lia? I answer the call and put the phone to my ear.
"Hey, Stass, what's up?"
"Umm so.. how bad would it be if Lia didn't show up for the trial?" She asks.
"Pretty bad. Why?" I question. "Is she freaking out?"
I know how stressful this must be for her. She very well could be having a panic attack right now.. it makes me sad.
"Not exactly." She mutters.
"Stassie tell me what is going on."
I hear her sigh. Oh no.. something is wrong. Something bad has happened.
"Don't freak out but.. she collapsed and was at the hospital right now."
Fuck.. it's bad.
"I'll be right there"

I hang up the phone and grab my car keys. I need to get to Lia quickly. I hope our baby is okay.
"Where are we going?" Sarah asks.
"Nowhere. You go home. I have something to get to." I say and walk out the door.
I speed my way to the hospital, my fingers anxiously tapping on the steering wheel as I pull into the parking lot. I know she won't want me here, especially after she asked for space, I don't care though. It's not just her I'm worried about, it's my baby.

"Hi I'm here for Amelia Holland," I say to the lady at the front desk, knowing she definitely hasn't legally changed her name back yet.
"And you are?" She asks.
Well.. just to make this a bit easier.
"I'm her husband, Tom Holland."
Technically I still am, they don't need to know any differently. The woman looks around the room, and waves over a nurse.
"Celine, could you please take him to Mrs. Holland's room?" She asks.
The nurse leads me down the hallway and I can already feel my hands shaking.
"What's wrong with her?" I ask, hoping and praying that it's nothing.
"I should let the doctor explain." She says.
"Well is our baby okay?" I question her some more.
"I'm sorry I'm not aware of a pregnancy.." she mutters as she looks down at the chart. "We did blood work, she tested negative for pregnancy."

What. The. Fuck. How? We reach the door and the nurse opens it, allowing me to walk in first. My eyes instantly lock with Lias and she sighs, looking over to Stass and Haz.
"You guys called him?" She asks.
"What else were we supposed to do? Someone needed to know that you wouldn't be at the trial." Stass says.
Wow.. that's all they called me for? Do they think I wouldn't care that she's in the hospital? Things have changed more than I thought they would.
"And now you're not there either! You should go! I'm fine." Lia mumbles as she picks at her fingers.
There's a knock on the door, and a doctor walks in flipping through the chart that the nurse hands her.

"Nothing seriously wrong very well was just a case of stress-induced fainting. According to everything you told us, I don't blame you. But I do want to prescribe you something for anxiety-"
"No," Lia says with a small laugh. "I don't need anxiety medication."
"Lia you just passed out from stress, yes you do," I state.
"You shhh." She hushes me. "You're not a part of this discussion."
Stass giggles at Lias's sudden sassiness and I roll my eyes.
"I'm not going to force you to take them, but the prescription is there if you change your mind."

The doctor and nurse leave the room before the nurse comes back with discharge papers. I instantly look at Lia but she looks away. I want to address the baby confusion, but she doesn't need any extra stress right now. I don't want to be the reason she passes out again.
"You should go to the trial," Haz says.
"Are you going to be okay?" I ask Lia, but she continues to be silent.
"She's with us, she'll be fine. You should go." Haz says once again.
Well.. looks like things really have changed. I'm not wanted or needed anymore. I knew this would happen, but I didn't realize how much it would hurt.