All I Want 3

•15•

•Lia's POV•

Oh god. Why did I give in? I was so turned on seeing how protective he was being that I couldn't help it. I remembered the toys I had brought with me and just had to use them.

"God, love you taste so amazing," I hear Tom say while putting my leg back down and standing up.

I feel his hands go to his pants ready to take them off. That's when I finally gain control of my body and senses and push him away. Going around him I quickly grab my robe and wrap myself in it.

"What the hell Tom? Why did you come in here? You knew I was showering. You had no right." I am rushing to avoid him because I know deep down that I let it happen. I am freaking out. He left me and I am a pathetic weak person who just gave in the second he showed interest.

"Lia, somethings wrong." I don't know what he is talking about until I see him breathing and I realize I'm not.

"My heart. It's beating fast. I can't. I can't breathe. I don't. Know what's happening." I am panting and my sentences are broken apart while I am trying to catch my breath. My back slides down against the wall.

"Hey, it's ok Breathe with me. Ready?" He crouches in front of me and starts breathing in. "In 2 3 4. Out 2 3 4. In 2 3 4. Out 2 3 4. Good, you are doing great ok." I start breathing normally after a few times and I finally have control over it. " You're ok Lia. You're safe. I am here."

"I am sorry. I don't know what happened." I am so embarrassed right now. First, he catches me masturbating and then goes down on me and now I am freaking out on what this all means. "Can we just forget this all happened please?" I ask burying my head in my hands.

"Lia it is completely normal. It was just an anxiety attack. I am sorry I caused it though, I shouldn't have gone through your stuff."

"How did you know what to do?" I ask curious.

"Mum used to get them after having Patty. She has always had anxiety but then dad said that after her having so many kids it spiked. I started learning ways to help in case something happened so I could be there for her."

Wow after all of our dates, Nikki has never mentioned that to me. "I didn't know I'm sorry. I guess it was a good thing you learned then." I laughed trying to clear the air.

"Don't be mad but maybe you should go back to seeing Rachel. And if you don't like her then we can find someone else, but after these past couple of days, it made me realize that you aren't ok even if you say you are. Where are the anxiety pills that the doctor had given you?"

"I am fine Tom," I told him dismissively. "I do not need to see Rachel or any therapist. It was just a one-time thing. They are in the kitchen but I don't need them. I said I am fine so I am fine. Now get out of my room I need to get dressed."

When he walks out the door I quickly throw on undergarments, a pair of jeans, and a hoodie. I ain't trying to impress anyone. I walk out to the living room and sit next to him on the new couch.

"I'm sorry I came in here Lia I was just bored and looking for something to do and then I saw the toys and heard the vibrator and I couldn't resist. Lia look, I love you. I have always loved you and I know we haven't had the best year so far but please come home with me. Let me make it up to you." He is grabbing my hands and pleading with me. It is actually starting to work but I can't. I can't survive him hurting me again.

"Tom. I.." I start.

"Think of Haz. And Stassie. Eva and Tessa. If you won't come home for me then at least come home for them. I know that it sounds like I am guilt-tripping you but one month."

I know that I miss them but can I come home and be around him? Wait what does he mean by one month though? Like he only wants me for a month or is that how long until Lydia is gone or what?

"One month?" I ask confused

"You give me one month. Come home and live with me, you live in our home, you come back to work, we go on dates, and no sex. One month of me showing you that I choose you. That I want you. Please and if it doesn't work then I will back off. I will move you to Oregon and fix up a home office there, we will Zoom call any projects and that's it. Please give me another chance."

It sounds doable and I do miss everyone there. It can't hurt to try.

"Ok, one month."