All I Want 3

•6•

I woke up just about every single hour last night. Yesterday was stressful and overwhelming and today won't be much different. Not only do I have to talk to Haz today, but I also have to formally fire Sarah and start looking for a new assistant. I can't have an assistant that thinks it's okay to break personal boundaries like that. She knows about everything going on in my life right now and for her to create a whole new mess for me to handle is unacceptable. And then to top off all of that, I am filing the papers today to start the process of getting custody of my child.

Haz and I are meeting at the office. I told him he could just come over but he said to just meet at work. He's been acting weird since all of this has happened which I understand, but this is even weirder for him. I just want my friend back. Throwing on my jacket and grabbing my keys, I head out the door and to the office. How do I even bring up this conversation to him without sounding like I'm accusing Lia of lying to me? All of this could just be a huge misunderstanding and I don't want this conversation to worsen an already difficult situation.

I walk into the building, knowing Haz won't be here for another fifteen minutes but it's fine. It will give me time to figure out what I am going to say and how to bring the conversation up with him. All my thinking comes to a pause though when I walk into my office and see Sarah.

"Sarah, I believe I fired you," I comment as I set my stuff down on the top of my desk, the fired assistant looking nervous as she plays with her fingers.

"I know, but sir- please rethink your decision." She speaks up.
"And why would I do that?" I ask.
"Because I'm the best assistant you've ever had." She states. "You said it yourself, I anticipate your every move, I understand the system, and I am good at what I do. What I did was stupid and it won't happen again. But please, let me keep my job."

Well.. she's right. As bothered as I am over the way she acted, She is the best assistant I've had, and we can just pretend that never happened. Why would I lose a perfect assistant over something that will never be a problem again?

"You know what. I'll give you an extra chance." I say and watch as her face lights up with a big smile. "Don't mess it up this time because there won't be another chance after this one."
"Yes sir." She nods enthusiastically.
"Now please get to work."
"Yes sir." She says once more before heading out of my office to go get her daily responsibilities done.

Not even moments later my door opens, and Haz walks in. He looks less than well-rested, probably up all night worrying about Lia. He's like a brother to her and I know how protective and worried he can get in situations like what happened yesterday.
"Hey." He says, sitting down.
"Hi.." I trail off, not knowing exactly what to say.
"So? You wanted to talk about something?" He asks.
Alright. Haz is my best friend. This doesn't have to be weird. Just take a deep breath and talk to him the way you always have.
"Something strange happened at the hospital." I start.
"What happened?" He prompts.

Well.. here we go.

"The nurse said there was no pregnancy. That they tested for it and she wasn't pregnant.. how could that be?"
I watch as his face drains of any color, a pasty paleness taking over. Something is wrong. something has happened.
"Haz tell me right now what's going on with my child," I say.
"That's not my place.." he shakes his head. "You're gonna have to talk to Lia mate.."
"You and I both know that's not an option with what's going on right now." I remind him of her current state.
He sighs and sits back in his chair. I don't know that I'm ready to hear what I'm about to hear.

"Okay... the night that you told Lia that you were leaving her.." he slows, not able to find his words.
"What happened?" I ask, already knowing. I can feel the pit in my stomach and the hurt in my heart. I know what he's going to say. And it's killing me.
"Tom.. she lost the baby. She had a miscarriage."
I knew that's what he was going to say, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I don't know what to say... I don't know how to feel.. except for the one thing that fills my body more than anything else.

Anger.

How could she keep this from me? This was my baby too! And she fucking lied to me and let me believe that it was alive and well. She left me to think everything was the same and sat on this secret for far too long. She's awful... she's terrible. she's not who I thought she was.

"How long have you known?" I ask.
"What?" He stutters slightly, eyes wide.
"You fucking heard me," I say lowly.
"Since it happened.." he sighs and my eyes squeeze shut, not even wanting to see his face. Not only did Lia betray me, but Haz did too.

"Get the fuck out."

He looks at me with shock, but what did he expect? That I'd be okay with them lying to me? That I'd just say it's okay and move past it. This isn't a small thing. It's huge. And they made it worse by keeping it a secret.
"Tom you can't bring this up to Lia.. not with everything happening." He shakes his head.
"I'll do whatever the fuck I want. Now get. Out." I say sternly.
Without another word, Haz stands to his feet and walks out of my office. As soon as the door closes is when I break, tears begin to flow from my eyes, and my hand bangs on the desk in front of me. Fuck.

Everything is gone. My marriage, my baby, what's next? Why is all of this happening to me? Had she never even walked through my office door that day?
no.
I would never wish that I hadn't met her but fuck! She's made my life so fucking difficult! And now I'm sobbing at work because of her! I don't know what to do.

•Lia's Pov•

Haz bursts through the door only twenty minutes after leaving for work. That's odd.. he's supposed to work until 5:30 today.
"Why are you here?" I ask.
"Lia I'm so sorry..." he breathes out, which sends me into a panic.
"What did you do?" I question.
"He already knew. but then I confirmed it and there was a lot of pressure and-" I cut him off.
"What are you talking about Haz?"
He shakes his head, obviously frustrated with himself.
"I told Tom that you lost the baby." He finally spits out and my mouth drops, my heart stopping momentarily.
"You what?"
"Lia he already basically knew because the nurse slipped it. But you should know. he's mad. Like really mad." He warns. "I'll keep him away as best I can but you'll have to talk to him sooner or later."
"Yeah. I will." I nod.

I knew he would have to find out eventually. I knew he would be angry and upset. Yet somehow it's still stressful and almost unexpected. I don't know how to go about handling this, I thought I would have more time to figure it out. Everything was just too much in the moment, and I just kept pushing it and pushing it and the more that I pushed it off the more scary and difficult it got. But telling him that won't make him feel better. Nothing I tell him will make him feel better. I lied and kept secrets. He will never forgive me for this.

I thought maybe there was a small chance of us getting back together, but now? I don't think that's ever going to happen. I think we may be done forever.