All I Want 3

•10•

•Lia's Pov•

I have never felt so much joy before. I just found out we are having a baby boy that means I was right and I get my little Louis. Tom is going to be so excited, I just know it. I am in my car heading back with the envelope debating on either doing a gender reveal to surprise him or just telling him and surprising everyone else. I get back and start walking up to the door but am surprised to see someone else here and the door open. I cautiously walk up and see Lydia and Tom. She's about to hand him a bag with something in it.

"Ok, Tommy I have a gift for you."She hands him the bag.

He opens it and inside was a onesie.

"Oh my god Lyd 'Daddy's Little Soilder' does this mean?

"Yes, baby we are having a boy! I already thought of a name too, Louis Harrison Holland."

What!! No, he can't. He can't do this.

I try walking inside but it is like an invisible shield is stopping me.

"I am so happy to be doing this with you. You are the only woman I want. I love you and our lima bean." He then pulls Lydia into a steamy kiss.

"No Tom stop!! This is our lima bean. Please don't do this!"

I jolt awake running to the toilet to vomit. It's 1 am and I am a sweaty disgusting mess now.

I get out of bed to go get a shower that I now oh so desperately need.

While the water is heating up, I strip out of my shorts and tank. Feeling the water I flinch back getting burned by it, but also feeling relief from it. It's like that shot of pain and heat heals the pain in my chest even though it is just for a little bit it helps.

I don't turn it down but instead, have it fill the bathtub. I climb in wincing in pain as the water burns my skin but going until my head is the only thing out of water.

My thoughts are everywhere right now

I love you and our lima bean

Instinctively my hand goes to my stomach and I remember when he thought of lima bean. When he saw the ultrasound, the jokes we made. My head is making too much noise.

I sink under the water, letting the water fill my ears. Wanting desperately to just take a breath under here and feel the water fill my lungs until my last breath. But I can't. I can't do this to Haz or Stassie. I come up for a breath. The water has now turned cold and its helpful effects have gone away.

I get out and dry my body, seeing in the mirror that my skin is now red and raw. Even though my skin hurts the pain from my nightmares eased up a little. I know I won't be falling back asleep any time tonight.

I go to the fridge and pull out a bottle of Malibu and pineapple juice to make a knockoff pina colada but decide I need something stronger. I go blow dry my hair putting it up into a sleek high pony, put lotion all over to ease the redness, put on a tight miny red dress with my red pumps, and do my makeup with a smokey eye. I am going out and getting drunk. I need to forget everything right now.

I call an Uber and set the destination to this club called Double D. It's this new club I guess where you can dance and drink, Double D. I remember seeing it on my way to my mum's place and the Uber driver was telling me about it. Maybe if I am staying here for a while I can find a job there.

The driver comes and tells me to be safe when he drops me off. I thank him and start towards the line, but the bouncer in front lets me walk right in. When I enter I have to push through curtains and then I saw why it is also called Double D. Strippers are dancing on poles in every corner and a stage in the middle with three poles, and you probably guessed it, they had big racks. I go straight to the bar while enjoying the view a little bit. I experimented mainly with Stassie so looking at these beautiful women doesn't exactly turn me away, but mainly I can't help thinking about a conversation Tom and I had about trying a 3 some after I told him about Stassie and me.

When I reach the bar I order sex on the beach. It has been a while so even just this fruity drink hits a bit hard, but not to where I'm tipsy. Looking around I can't help but imagine Tom being here with me. I know it is over but I can't just forget about him. I down the drink and then start asking for shots of the strongest drink they have. I need to forget.

After about 3 shots I know im drunk. The worst part? Im still stuck on him. I need to see him, to hear his voice. I do something I know in the future ill regret in the morning. I call him.

"Lia? What's wrong? Where are you?" Tom asked as soon as he answered.

"I am where you are not Tommy. Where's your baby momma?" my voice slurred.

"Don't be like this, please. Lia I sti-"

"Why did you choose her? What did I do wrong? Was it because I took too long to get pregnant?"

"Baby that's not true, ok I didn't choose her. I would never choose another woman over you. You have to believe that, please. But I can't abandon my baby." He pleaded with me to understand. If I were sober then I would have at least hung up by now.

"Yet you were fine abandoning our baby and now the baby left me too. I was a terrible wife and I guess whatever god there is thought I would be a terrible mother too. But at least you got your baby, right? Hopefully, you did a paternity test seeing how she's a gold-digging cow. But whatever you love her anyways." I spill without understanding what im saying.

"Bye, Tommy it's been a pleasure like always. I need more alcohol." I mumble the last part.

"Lia Im coming to get you, don't drink anything else."