Fifty Shades of Minho - Suppressed desire

1.29

Pov Jisung

I opened my eyes quite early in the morning. As I was awakened by my cat's soft purr "Good morning princess." I petted her gently and looked up at the ceiling of my old room, today was the last day I was with my father and would be in less than four hours me on my way to her. My mother. I wasn't very happy about it, but she was still my mother, so I saw it as my duty to visit her, but my joy was limited. This weekend would either be about my brother or my achievements, nothing more, for this woman only a good degree counted, unless you were my brother. I was all the more glad that my brother never came here and that I had my peace of mind with him. "Jisung! You have to get up slowly!" I stretched a bit, being very careful not to accidentally hit my cat. "Yeah appa! I'll be right there." I put my deck aside and straightened my pajamas, which had slipped in place while I slept. Slipping on my slippers, I walked down the stairs to my dad, followed by Bo Rah who hadn't even left my side all week. "I'm here." He smiled at me briefly "Good morning, I hope your last night at home was pleasant enough that you can put up with your mother," I had to grin, "Appa...she's not that bad.", Exactly being a parent you shouldn't favor any of your children and that's what she does." I nodded in defeat because my father and I knew he was right. "Well, eat something before you have to go. As far as I know you, you still want to take a shower, right?", I nodded again. "That was the plan", I mumbled softly, since I had previously bitten off a piece of a slice of bread. "Ji in case it gets too bad. write me or call me I'll come get you then. I know she's your mother but enough is enough don't force you to be with her if you don't want to." I nodded to Jonas writing the last bit of my chest. He was right, but it was still my mother.I grabbed my plate, got up and made my way from the dining table to the dishwasher, where my cat immediately meowed at me. She knew I would leave her again today and neither of us knew when I would come back. I opened the dishwasher and put my plate in. This was done after just a few seconds and I turned to my father "I'm going to take a shower now." I told him if he had to go to the bathroom again "Ok, see you right away.", was his answer and I went back to my room, where I got some clothes from the closet. It was always the same, a black t-shirt, blue jeans and some pair of socks and Calvin Klein underpants.Normally I would wear an oversized sweater with jogging pants, but I had to remember that I still drive to my mother's. Was that actually very sad? After all, I felt like the only child who couldn't be the way he is, every time his mother walked into the room. I went into the bathroom of the house and locked the door, whereupon I immediately undressed and climbed into the shower to take a shower. After about 20 minutes I was showered and dressed. An uncomfortable feeling settled in my stomach and I felt like I was going to throw up, and I kept gasping for air. I knew that my body didn't want to go to her, it finally gave me enough signals, but I just ignored it. I calm down a bit and took my dirty stuff, put it in a plastic bag so it wouldn't get my other clean stuff dirty and took it to my bag where I put it. "Jung?! Are you ready.", my father called up to me from the lower part of the house "Yes, I'll be there immediately!", I answered and went down the stairs together with my things "Do you have everything?", I nodded "Hey Ji, you really don't have to.
You're welcome to stay longer, you know that.", "Thanks Appa, I appreciate it." My father was very worried because last time I had a panic attack thanks to all the stress with my mother.

He took my bag from me and then put it in the trunk. I then got into the car and buckled my seat belt. My father also got in, buckled his seat belt and drove off. "Jisung please don't do that." I looked over at him confused "Your scratching." I look at my left hand scratching my thigh. "Oh, I didn't even realize that. Sorry." He sighed softly. "I don't think that's a good idea." He shared his thoughts with me, which I really appreciate about him. He's always been a role model for me. " I can do that. I'm just a little nervous.", "Nervous? Jisung please, you are extremely scared, it's sad you don't realize that." I looked out the window. He was so damn right I just didn't want to admit it! My pride just got in the way. After the 15 minute drive counting every second. If we stopped in front of my mother's apartment, I'll unbuckle my father turned to me "You listen to me carefully now if something is wrong or she doesn't behave well you call me! Promise me that.", I nodded, "Promise.", I squeezed this word out of myself, yes my voice broke off halfway because I started to sob. "Hey Jisung," I felt my father's arms around my body and immediately pressed myself to the heat source next to me. "Why are you forcing yourself to do this?", "She's my Eomma.", I disturbed slightly, "You know, every child deserves parents, but not all parents deserve children. Do you understand? Yes, she's your Eomma, that justifies her behavior, but she just doesn't deserve you, my darling." He stroked my hair, which calmed me down immediately. "Can we go back to you?" I asked quietly, "Of course Jisung if you feel better then.", I nodded a little "Could you maybe also write to her that I'm not coming.", I wiped the tears from my cheek "I don't dare.", "Of course Jisung.", I smiled briefly at "Thank you." He nodded briefly, buckled me up again and drove straight away. I was lucky to have an appa like him.