Love & Affinities (18+)

37

SOFIA MARCELLO

My hands shook as I realised what I had just done. My eyes could not leave the pool of blood underneath the man who I just shot. Who I shot four times. It doesn't matter who he was, it's what I did. I just killed a man, another person. My fingers went numb, shaking and dropped the gun from my grasp as I covered my mouth in realisation. 

However, I needed to prioritise the situation. Adriano was more important and needed more of my attention. He slowly stood on his knees and then moved to his feet, inching closer to me, kicked the gun away from my feet. ''We need to call Ronan. You're hurt Ad.'' Those are the only words that I can speak. He palms my face saying something but I can't seem to register any of it. I grab his cell and dial Ronan's number only to find him on his way, who had already sensed that something was off. 

Ripping off the material of my dress, I tie it around his shoulder wound to stop the bleeding as he grunts in response. ''Sofia, I need to know that you're okay. Fuck, listen to me. I need to hear you give me a fucking answer.'' He snatches my hand away from his face and grabs the nape of my neck. ''Tell me that you're fucking okay.'' He looked so desperate to hear my answer. 

''I am, we just need to wait for Ronan to come.'' Right away, Ronan's car along pulls up  to us. 

''Bro, what the fuck happened to you? Come on, let's get you to oldie. He's waiting for ya,'' Ares says stepping out of Ronan's car. 

He latches onto my wrist and pulls me with him to Ronan's car while Ares stays back to take care of the scene. I can't figure out why his touch repulses me and it's not because of him. It's because I still have the taint on my hands. I pull my wrist out of his grasp and look out the window to focus on something else. 

''Sof-'' 

''Please, just a few minutes.'' He nods stiffly but stays put the rest of the ride. Despite being beaten up, he clenches his wounded fist around the wheel. Just as we pull up to the mansion, Ares helps him to doc. Meanwhile, I head to my bedroom, shed all my clothes off and step into the shower. Water rains down my back and that's when it hits me fully, tears cloud my vision and I fall to my knees, folding my arms around my legs and crying out. As much as I am happy that Ad is safe, I can't process what ensured his safety. 

I act like a crybaby even though I should be accustomed to stuff like this. But, it felt like killing the little girl at Alex's captive again. I was responsible for her death, the same way I  was responsible for the death of the child I carried for a month. One month was enough for me to form an attachment with it. It was like having a reason to live for. I never had the courage to tell anyone about that. I scratch my skin, as if to cleanse the taint off of my body. Loud sobs escape my mouth, resounding off of the walls. 

I feel his touch on my back and turn to face him. ''Just leave, please.'' He steps into the shower, his wound getting wet. I fold my arms around myself and tell him to leave because his wound is getting wet. 

''I'm only stepping out once you are.'' I grind my teeth in frustration but head out and shiver at the cool air blowing through. He wraps a towel around me slowly and then squeezes the water out of my hair. 

Once he's done, I inch to leave the tension-filled room as tears wet my cheeks, but the grasp on my hand stops me. ''Wait. I don't want you getting sick, so get your ass here.'' He dries himself off and then grabs the hair dryer, drying my hair as fast as he could. And before I could even, step out again, he picks me up. As much as I want to protest and tell him that I might be hurting his injuries, I selfishly grab onto him and bury my face in his neck. 

I need him to tell me that he won't abandon me like the others. He lays me down onto the bed and walks to my closet to get one of his t-shirts and one of my panties. Returning back to the bed, a hesitant emotion grasps his whole form but in the next second, he's all demanding. ''Let's get you dressed.'' His calloused palm pulls me by my ankles to the edge slowly, pulls my towel away. 

Grabbing my ankles, he pulls up my panties while brushing his hand against my butt cheeks. My face flushes with heat, however amusingly, none of this felt sexual. He just had this effect on me. His gaze lingers on my chest, taking in the sight of my tight nipples. ''You're cold.'' Then really quickly, he pulls the t-shirt over my head. ''Wait for me.'' He moves to his room and returns in his boxer briefs, settling down into bed with me. 

He gathers me in his arms, placing soft kisses on my neck and face. Soft circles appear on my forehead made by his index finger. ''Tell me what's going on in here. I need you to talk to me, not just speak when required.'' A fresh verge of tears arise. 

''I killed another person today, Ad. I can't take it anymore... It's eating away at me.'' Only when he presses kisses to my cheeks, I realize I've started crying again. ''You need to rest, Ad. Does it hurt? I caress his face, cupping his jaw. I try to divert his mind.

''Yes, it fucking hurts-'' I reach for his phone on the drawer. 

''I'm calling doc to check on you-'' He grabs the phone from my hand and tosses it onto the dressing table. 

''It fucking hurts to see that you can't open up to me. Every single time I try to bring up any topic, you shut it down. You need to accept your past and move on.'' He seethes furiously as I sit up on the bed. Rage flows through me. 

''You think it's that easy to tell you that I was fucking raped and abused by another man day and night! To tell you that I lost so much of myself in those six years! I lost my baby, the only thing that kept me going through that one month! And you think you have the right to bring this up after I find out that you're about to marry my fucking step-sister!'' I don't even recognize my voice as I scream at him and he lays baffled there. 

I storm out of the room but he is quick to catch me in his arms from the back and flip me onto the couch as I kick and flay my hands to fight him off. ''Get the fuck off me!'' His grip on my wrists tighten as he grabs them and catches my legs in between his. ''Fuck you!'' Suddenly, his mouth envelopes mine in an irresistible kiss. He pulls away, panting. ''What is wrong with you? I told you to leave me.'' And the next second my heart breaks, because I hate that I'm hurting him. 

He hugs me tight as sobs wreck my body. I slap his chest, trying to push him away but all he does is hugs me tighter to his chest. ''Let me go, go,'' I heave. Even though I yell at him, he doesn't leave me once. Growing tired, I stop fighting and succumb to him, sobbing my lungs out until my eyes could no longer stay open. 

ADRIANO ENZO CALVETI   

Anger, frustration and excitement were the only human emotions I could muster as a man. But, for this first time in my entire existence, I've felt sadness and fear apart from fury right now. Her breaths become shallow as she loses fight and chooses to succumb to the weakness in her body. 

I know she's hurting and I know how it feels to hear those voices inside your head when you're all alone, at the brink of dying from the excruciating wait for death. But, how am I supposed to help her if she doesn't open up to me. I know I'm a fucking monster but my dead heart belongs to her. I may be a hard man to understand but for her I could do anything. 

Now, I find out about her baby who she lost and it makes my blood fucking boil at the thought that that motherfucker took away so much from her life. He played with her like a doll and then discarded her. 

I wish I could take away her pain until there's only peace left for her. Discovering that there's more to her life in those six years makes me want to wreck those who've anything to do with her miserableness. Telling her about Samantha was part of the plan but how could I tell her that I was contracted to marry her step-sister when she was my girl? How could I tell her to trust me?

Sofia Marcello has brought me to my knees, made me vulnerable and I hate it because all I've had till now was control and power. I didn't have any weaknesses. And the greatest thing I fear right now, is losing her. I love her too much to let her go. 

Yet, I fear that I might have to let her go if her life is at stake. I hug her tight, reassuring myself that she will never slip out of my hands. 

I kiss her on the forehead one last time before I wrap my arms around her thinking of what's to come next.