Love & Affinities (18+)

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ADRIANO ENZO CALVETI

⚠️ mature content
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''How could I forget?'' 

He smirks and this one was anything but good, it was evil. He twisted my arm that was on his wrist before pinning me onto the bench. My chest leaning forward, lower stomach on the bench and my legs bent halfway due to the height of the bench. His body leaned forward, pressing up his chest to my back.

Using his free hand he fisted my hair making me groan. ''You will count to 10 and each time you will thank me, address me as sir.'' My thighs clenched together at the thought of calling him sir. He removed his grasp on my hands and allowed me to grip onto the bench instead. His fingers trailed from my back to the middle of my butt before I felt him press onto my clit.

That's what google said. I moaned out loud and looked at the door, hoping that no one would barge in. We were the only ones living here but sometimes Ronan or Ares or even a maid comes here.

Suddenly, he poked into the material of my tights to found an opening and ripped it from the middle, until I was left in my panties. I gasped out but not in shock but in panic. 

His hands tore off my pants and ripped down my underwear, my hands cuffed to the headboard as I cried in protest. Hands pulled at me to sit on my knees and elbows as my bottom stretched out before him. He wasn't stopping, nothing could stop him. I had been a bad girl. I couldn't make him reach his release, I was bad and I would get punished for it. 

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The unclasping of his belt tore my attention back to him as I pleaded for mercy, at least anything. He didn't stop once the leather of his belt collided with my already fragile skin. My wails echoed through the walls of the room, blood coming to surface from the damaged skin. 

But in the midst of that, I heard the calm, the bode that brought me peace and heaven, I tried reaching out to him but my hands were restrained. His voice reached closer, the evil maniac laughter of the man holding the belt now subsiding.

''Sofia, fuck! Sofia, baby listen to me. Sofia.'' My hands thrashed out trying to remove his hold from me and he let me. He waited for me until I cornered myself into the room, my hands on my hair, pulling it out, tears uncontrollably flowing down my face, sobs leaving my mouth and then a scream. The scream not of the memory at that point. My face morphed back into realization from fear. 

I could never be enough for him. 

He needs someone who can love him without thinking of another man. He needs someone who doesn't have to reach out to him for comfort for the littlest things. He needs someone better. He tried reaching out to me, his eyes contorted into worry, the frown of his eyebrows much more evident. 

The reality of life was as such; no matter how hard one may try to live with it, a day shall come when they are too tired to deal with it, soon it just becomes a fragment of life, it becomes common. And it becomes easier to ignore it and find something else to rely on. That's how our life would be. There's only so much he can give and so less that I can't. 

I never knew that I would be the one to push him away, if anything, it hurts more than reliving those painful visions, all of my screams and my endurance throughout all the pain. ''Don't! Don't touch me, please! Just leave.'' 

I thought I was the one feeling the brunt of all of this, but just one look into his eyes told me what I needed to know. He was hurt but he had no intention of leaving me alone to fend for myself. His actions were in a turmoil, his hand inching forward, his body leaning away. He looked sad and somewhat mad. 

My flinching when his fingers slightly grazed my forearm made him look like a little boy who dropped his ice cream. He clenched his fists and turned his back, standing for a moment and then striding towards the exit, regret filled me instantly. How I wish I could tell him that it wasn't any of his fault; if anything, I was to blame. 

''Ad, I- I- sorry,'' sobbing gasps left my mouth as I tried getting up from the floor still in my shredded clothes. He stilled, his fists still clenched, back heaving with all the breaths his lungs inhaled. 

''We'll talk once you're okay.'' 

And he left with the door open, a maid coming inside to place my clothes and towel here. ''Ma'am, Sir said you could shower here if you wanted to or I can help you back to your room.''

I shook my head weakly, my eyes on the floor as she took her cue and left. He didn't even say my name this time, he was anything but calm. I stood up and grabbed my clothes and towel before entering the shower in the gym.

Just as I discarded the material on my body and the cool water hit my skin, I collapsed onto the floor and sobbed like a baby. My feet and fingers grew wrinkly, hair sticking to my face and back, tears running down like I owned a few rivers of them. 

My episode had to end sooner or later, so I mustered up the courage and used the loofah to cleanse my skin. I heard the door open and turned around swiftly to see him standing there. His arms crossed, eyes on me. This time he didn't look away and blood rushed to my skin. 

He inched closer to me as he slipped off his sweatpants and then his boxers; I didn't want him to stop. His chest free of any clothing as he stepped into the shower with me. My eyes teared up simply at the sight of him, and I looked at his chest, avoiding his gaze. He didn't object, instead grabbed the loofah from my hand and turned me around. 

I leaned onto him, his heart beating against my back. He ran the loofah all over my body, cleaning me up. Water sprayed on both of us, his manhood pressed against my butt, but nothing about it was sexual, we both knew it. 

I tried reaching to my legs but he cut me to it and sat on his knees this time in front of me. ''Ad-'' 

''Ssshh.'' He washed my legs on his knees, he was on his knees and I almost didn't realize it. This man was my angel with a hint of the devil. I love him so much but it hurts to see him trying to compromise things for me.

He stood up and cut me off from talking again as he lathered my hair with shampoo as it ran down a few minutes later, washing away into the drains. I moved to do the same for him but he grabbed my wrist, wrapped me in a towel and gestured for me to leave as he shut the door to the cubicle. 

I gulped; it hurt. Just like he was. He made me realize what it felt like to be not wanted by the person you care for, how it feels to be pushed away. His palms fixed on the wall beside his head which hung low and water running down his body to form ripples at the bottom, yet he didn't utter another sound. I didn't do anything apart from wearing my clothes in the same room as he was and leaving it. Only to land in a pool of thoughts again.