SYNOPSIS
This time there is only one box on the stage. And when I look back to Alex, I see his eyes darken as he runs his tongue over his lips. His gaze flicks to me but this time it was full of something else. Nervousness? But why would he be nervo...
One week and two days. We haven't talked since the shower together. He probably believes that he was giving me space to think properly and even hired a new therapist to help me cope with my mind. After my last therapist, Anna, it had been so long since I had a panic attack.
What was confusing me the most was the fact that I wanted to be with him and didn't at the same time. If I went too close to him, he'd get hurt and hurt me in the process too and if I stayed away, we both would spare ourselves the awkward tension but miss each other. At least, that's what I felt. I'd wake up every morning to find hot chocolate on the bedside drawer. The weather was chilly and I had been complaining about it to Ad because whenever we slept together, he'd take almost all of my blanket because of his obvious six-foot build. Now, I'd find myself wrapped in two blankets when he was not here.
I try to find sleep and roll in the bed from one end to the other. After the exhausting day of exercising, therapy and roaming around his penthouse I fail to find sleep. I glance at the digital clock to see it was 11:58 in the night. The door to my bedroom opens, his scent and presence sending shivers through my body. I lay with my back facing the door, my heart beating rapidly as I try to pretend I'm asleep. His shoes tap lightly against the tiles of the floor until he at some point, takes them off. I could feel his eyes on me and almost ended up blowing my cover.
The sound of the shower running resonates from the behind the bathroom door as I lay awake hearing each and every action he takes. The scent of his shampoo and body wash linger through the air as he steps out of the bathroom to go to his bedroom, I think. He returns seconds later as I open my eyes, noticing his shadow before me as he stands behind me.
The bed gains weight as he slips into it, maintaining a distance between us. He has never touched me again since that time, not even in my sleep. I could feel his eyes piercing into my back so I faked a low groan and turned toward him, inching a little closer.
Surprisingly, he wraps his tattooed arm around me pulling me to him and burying his face in my neck. ''Stop fucking pretending and go to sleep,'' my eyes snap open as my body tenses. He knew I was pretending the entire time?
His shallow warm breath tickles my neck, indicating that he was fast asleep. So he'll ignore me instead of talking to me. Sounds more like me. I wrapped my leg around his torso and cuddled him till my eyes couldn't stay open anymore.
When I woke up in the morning, he was nowhere in bed, nothing new. As usual, I took a shower and did whatever I needed to in the kitchen before changing into my gym clothes. Since, he was not at home, I decided to wear a sports bra and a sports tights. Living alone in this entire space felt so bland, so I decided to add some spice to it by bringing my goodies to life in his gym.
I took out my airpods that Ad bought for me and plugged them in while connecting it to Ronan's old phone that had this hot song. I think, 'Streets' by Doja something. Yeah Doja cat. It fueled up my body as I made my way to the sled ropes machine. Placing the phone on the machine behind me, I began stretching my limbs and back before grabbing onto both the ropes. I stood with a posture that was illustrated on the machine and proceeded to pull the ropes. Focusing on the types of gains I wanted, I changed my position.
The floor met my knees, my butt on the sole of my feet. My fingers grasped onto the ropes as repeated the exercise and ended up panting for a while. In the midst of it all, what caught my eyes, were the little weights Ad had ordered for me.
Looks like I can't even go on with a day without remembering him. I picked one and attempted to do a 45 pounds squat lift. For me this was progress as a beginner and it was the easiest one right now. My butt touched the heels of my feet so I corrected my posture.
The first ten were manageable until I began feeling the burn in my thighs and arms so I decided to take a break after five more but seems like my airpods had other plans as the one in my right ear slipped off and bounced back.
Carefully placing the weights back, I bent down to pick it up only to meet the burning hot gaze of Adriano who was also probably exercising because we both had our skins slick with sweat and a water bottle in his hand. His one arm propped on the hand rest of the machine, the other now rubbing his jaw which now had a little stubble. The blue oasis of his ran down my entire body as if undressing me and it was anything but uncomfortable.
It made my core clench with need and the slickness between my thighs spoke more. Bile in my throat, I gulped and decided to address the elephant in the room.
''D-Did you need something?'' As always, the stutter had to slip in his presence as he inched closer, just like a predator ready to pounce on his prey. He shakes his head lightly, unscrewing the cap of his bottle and before I can even register what was to come, water drips down my head, wetting each and every inch of me and giving a rise to my hardened peaks due to the coolness.
I open my mouth to yell at him but he beats me to it and fists my hair lightly before placing a kiss on my neck. ''Yeah, just wanted to tell you to take a shower.'' He turned to leave but this time I was faster and grabbed his wrist. Whatever he said was a really stupid excuse.
''Stop acting like a child, Adriano. It's not my fault that I can't forget Alex! I didn't think you'd react like this.'' His eyes narrow, soften a little, breaking through his anger, yet the frown doesn't leave his face in the heat between us.
''And you don't get to shut me out!'' He justifies his point of view and I agree with it but I can't just get up right after I feel like I cheated on him by thinking of Alex when he was totally focused on me. Just me. My eyes start tearing in anger and pain.
''You can't just- you... I'm used! Look at me, I can't give you what you want. You have to baby me almost every second. I can't spend time with you without you having to reassure me that I'm worth something every second. '' His eyes darken in anger and he grips my face lightly with his fingers as if to get his point to me.
''You know what you just did? No more babying, right?'' He seethes and wraps his hand around my throat and pushes me against the wall. I refuse to budge in anger.
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He can do whatever the f he wants. ''Ten spanks, now! Get on my lap.'' My throat goes dry as he continues. ''You need to learn a lesson on how the fuck you just dared to call yourself used.'' Oh shit.
