YOU HAVE ME ~ JAKE SULLY

9

I started moving towards her slowly, she was clutching her own hands close to her chest as she finally looked up at me.

"Jake..." She whispered out, making me walk slightly faster.

She shook her head at me, making me stop. I put my hands up, showing her that I mean no harm.

"Hey, hey... Ness, it's okay."

She shook her head faster, looking down as her breathing picked up even more. I moved towards her again, putting my hands on her shoulders gently.

"Hey..." I said to her, wanting her to look up at me. She was having a panic attack... not just any panic attack. It looked and acted like a trauma-induced panic attack. Norm struggled with them since the war ended and I got good at noticing the signs.

She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head faster at me. She was shaking.

"Ness, it's okay... it's okay," I whispered to her, keeping my voice low and softer so I didn't alarm her. "You have to open your eyes and look at me. Whatever is playing over and over again in your head... it's not happening, Ness. You're okay."

"No... Jake, I can't-... I can't brea-" Her hands came up to clutch my biceps, digging her nails in. Her head still hung low, eyes squeezed shut.

I gave her shoulders a light squeeze, "I know, I know. Hey..." I pry one of her hands off my bicep, placing it on my chest so she could feel my heart rate. I then placed my hand on her chest, right over her heart so I could keep track of her heart rate. I slowly lowered myself to sit on my knees, her following me. "You gotta get control of that heart rate, okay?"

She shook her head again, "I can't-... I ca- n't," her breathing became more rapid, small noises of struggle leaving her lips.

The hand she still had on my bicep dropped to my thigh as she dug her nails in there too. At this point, tears were slowly falling down her face. She wasn't sobbing, but I could tell she looked scared, scared of whatever was playing in her mind. I wouldn't be surprised if the lack of air she's getting in was making her eyes water too.

"Nessa, you're safe with me, okay? I'm not gonna hurt you... I'm not gonna let anyone else hurt you. Come back to me, Ness." I whispered.

Her head shook again, but it didn't look like it was in response to me this time. Using the hand that was on her shoulder, I placed my thumb and pointer finger under her chin and gently lifted her head. Her eyes were still screwed shut, but it was progress.

I moved a bit closer so that our knees were touching, "Ness, try and breath with me okay?" I used my hand previously under her chin to tuck strands of hair behind her face, I'm sure it was overstimulating her having all that hair in her face.

She nodded her head at me, letting me know she heard me. I smiled softly... getting better.

I started to take deep breaths in and deep breaths out, counting to three out loud both times. She was struggling but she was trying her hardest to get her breath under control. She shook her head slightly again, it seemed like she did it every time unwanted memories started flowing back in. At least that's what Norm said happens to him.

"Whatever is happening behind those eyes, Nessa... It's not happening. You're with me," I said while putting my hand over hers as it still rested on my chest, "It's just us two... and I've got you, Ness."

Her breathing started to slow as she continued to take deep breaths, now able to keep up with them. My thumb started rubbing over her hand, trying to soothe her.

Her hand dropped from underneath mine, falling from my chest and resting on my other thigh. I took my hand off of her chest and placed my hands on her biceps. Now all she had to do was just open those pretty eyes.