Through A Different Lens {Marina/Maya & Carina}

A Ring Of Golden Streaks (Chapter 20)

Running from her problems never came alive until she was placed on the track, when her feet met with the asphalt for the first time, or the grippy texture of the competitive track. She never had an escape before that, she couldn't run. But now, as her running shoes hit against the food path, sending a shock through her calf, she could run...maybe not for long, not forever, but she could prolong it by adding to the sprint. She could close her mind off, pretend that she wasn't running into tomorrow, the day that she was to give Finn to a woman, a woman she's never seen before.

Was Finn going to like her? Was he going to puff his palms into her cheeks like he does to the people he appreciates? Would he take his first steps in front of her? Call her Beeno or mamma? Whatever he were to do in the twenty four hours he spent away from Maya and Carina... they wouldn't see it, they might not even hear of it, they wouldn't know anything...and yet, Maya kept to her run, flooding the thoughts out of her head with music that echoed out of her airpods.

Left, right, left, right.
Keep the momentum.

Would Finn want to show this women his shark teddy?

No- stop, left, right, left, right
Keep the momentu-

Would he want to stay? Would he giggle with her?

Right..-left, breathe..right.
Momentum.

Would he love Carina and Maya less when he returned?

Stop!

Would he?

No

Are you sure?

Yes!

What if he does?

Maya halted on the path, her abdomen buckling over as she placed her hands on her knees, panting from the speed her determined mind was trying to keep up, the left, right momentum that her legs tried desperately to run. But she couldn't, her mind was fighting against her, she wasn't determined...she was hopeless. She let out an agitated grunt, ripping the airpods from her ears, stopping the uplifting music from flooding her thoughts. She wasn't in an uplifting mood, she felt like she didn't deserve to be.

She was out running, taking time away from her home when she knew she shouldn't be. She could have easily stayed on the treadmill. But everything felt like it was closing in on her, she felt like the speed wasn't enough, the acceleration wasn't good enough for her. She didn't want to change the speed when she felt the need to sprint, or walk, or jog... her thoughts were too much, and when she wanted to sprint she couldn't, the speed of the belt slowed her down, so she went outside.

It started as a small jog around the block, an acceleration in her step when the thoughts of Finn wandered around her head between songs. She found herself on a path a couple of blocks from her apartment complex, almost confused how she got there, but when her breathing slowed and she wiped the glistening sweat from her forehead...the echoing silence brought her back to why she left the apartment in the first place.

Finn.

Her next shift was tomorrow, which just so happened to be Thanksgiving, and just the thought alone ached her heart. She used to be excited for Thanksgiving, but now it only brought her loss, misery...heartbreak. Finn wasn't going to be with them tomorrow, he wasn't going to be able to wear his little turkey t-shirt or sit in the high chair that Maya had brought to the station last week... instead he was going to be somewhere else, somewhere Carina and Maya couldn't see him smile, or stuff his face with Thanksgiving baby food.

"Where did you go?" The Italian questioned fiercely as Maya walked through the apartment door, her head hanging low in a sigh.

"I went for a run" Maya exhaled, turning her face up to Carina. Her face glistening in a drying layer of sweat, undercoated in devastation and numbness. She had no energy, and it wasn't from the run... it was because as soon as she walked in the door, her eyes instantly latched onto Finn's new toy truck he had received for his birthday down by her feet.