Through A Different Lens {Marina/Maya & Carina}

Flerovium, Indium, Nitrogen (Chapter 29)

‘Hold your breath’

That's what everyone says when you're deep in water. But truthfully, you do it on your instinct, your body tells you to close your mouth, to contain what is left of your oxygen. But really, it depends on where your mind is at. Your instincts only stretch so far until…the state of your mind does something else. 

Do not hold your breath, let water flood you, let O2 be replaced by H2O. 

Or, reach the surface and breathe. Let H2O be replaced by O2. 

But, no-one talks about when you're not submerged in water and your instincts are still to hold your breath. Like for instance, when you're inches away from getting into a car crash, or witnessing a loved one do something completely outrageous and life threatening. 

You hold your breath in hope, anticipation, fear. 

Again, it's your instinct, how your mind reacts to the given moment. It's the risk of fight or flight. Hold your breath and hope for the best, or breathe and possibly not return to the surface. 

“Come on Finn, work with me here” Maya sounded exasperated, her eyelids still hooded from only recently waking up. She had returned home after a long shift last night and the calls were consistent. They could never be at the station for more than forty minutes before another call came in. The massage that Carina had given her when she returned home definitely helped with the aches and minor bruises of the calls, but as the engagement phase activated they ended up unclothed and re-sweatified.

They stayed up late living the moment, but now Maya woke up with a splitting headache, her muscles sore and shoulder throbbing from the purple bruise that spread across her collarbone. She stupidly, but heroically, shoulder-barged her way through a bedroom door, rescuing two children that hid under their beds, scared of the amount of heat and smoke entering their room. 

She must have barged through the door with the wrong stance, because the second the door opened, she clutched her shoulder, instantly disregarding it when two kids screamed for help. 

Carina said she may have dislocated her shoulder and popped it back in during the rescue, but Maya refused to wear a sling. Mostly because they were meeting with Lori today and she didn’t want to possibly give the women any reason why she may not be the best parent for Finn.

Maya twisted her face, wincing when Finn kicked his legs on the changing table, causing Maya to jolt forward slightly to make sure he didn’t fall. “Finn, please buddy, Maya doesn’t have the strength to fight with you and your pants today” She spoke in the third person, watching as Finn’s bottom lip began to wobble. “Oh no” And just as she spoke, Finn bursted into tears, his wails loud, bouncing off the walls in Maya's head, increasing the current headache.

She hung her head back, looking directly at the ceiling, green glowy stars littered across it. Finn’s current tantrum was heavily based on the fact that Maya picked him up from running around the apartment. It would be very easy to just limit his cries by just placing him back down so he could run miles, but Maya needed to get him dressed and driven to the daycare, where she could pick Carina up from the hospital so they could meet with Lori. 

And so far, the list has not shortened. 

“You leave me no choice” She mumbled before taking a hold of Finn’s kicking legs and tucking them into his pants. The pause of his kicking legs seemed to make his screams louder, his face reddened and arms waved harshly. “What’s wrong Finn?” The tantrum seemed a little more aggressive today, like he knew that his parents were meeting with Lori, that today could possibly decide how his future will be laid out. 

Maya hastily equipped Finn into a blue short sleeve t-shirt, whales printed on the front, all wearing top hats. Maya would usually smile at Finn’s interesting wardrobe, but today, with the pain in her head and shoulder, she had no energy to smile. So instead, she was left to internally smile.