I am?

G

G for Gravel

It's so tiring. Everytjing just tires me out. I just don't want to deal with it anymore.

Should I have distributed this throughout my life? Perhaps it would have been easier to handle. Shorter, more frequent isolations sounds a bit easier than once in a couple years but long isolations.

But I'm trying to keep it all together. Maybe it'll go away or I'll get used to it, Seeing that it's made me even worse, am I too weak to just keep going on? No one else gets exhausted like this.

I don't want to deal with it. I don't want want tomorrow to come.

It's so hard. I'm so tired. Even if I get rested wouldn't the same thing happen over and over again? I don't want that.

I have to keep not thinking about it. Don't think about anything. But I have to remember important stuff.

It's so tiring to remember. I wish I could just forget everything altogether. It wasn't like there's anything I would like to keep.

But that's not how things work, you can't just forget everything. There's stances where people get into bad accidents or traumatic events and they get anmesia. Something like that isn't common. Even if it did happened to me and I get my memories back, I would be devasted.

It's all so tiring. Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to do that? Am I really doing things because I like doing them? Aren't I just doing stuff because that's all I can do? Aren't I doing things because thats what people supposed to do?

I can't really think of things I enjoy or even a genuine time when I was happy.

I have to think and make up something. Hell, I'm always making up things even if I don't believe what I'm saying.

It's really tiring just to even do the mosy basic functions.