I'm crazy, I think to myself, what is wrong with me??
I was lying on my back, on the bed, looking at the ceiling. My mom and I were still staying in Colleen and Josh's household. My mother was helping Colleen in the kitchen and socializing while I remained a loner in the guest room.
I can't stop thinking about Jai. I want to stop but I just can't. I told him that I love him. Maybe I do but..I don't know...i just don't know.
It was 3pm just a little later from when I talked to Jai. I kind of want him to text me-or call-or email- SOMETHING! Okay, maybe that would seem a little clingy but I just wanted to talk to him.
I sit up and stand up from the bed. When I walk out the door and to the kitchen, Colleen looked at me with a stunned face. Probably because I don't leave the guest room.
"Ari!" She smiled.
"Hey," I say walking past her and my mom and toward the front door, "I need fresh air."
"Where are you going?" My mom questions.
"Just gonna walk around the neighborhood," I respond with a small smile. She nods and I open the door and exit the house.
My phone was in my pocket because I was planning on calling Jai. I was wearing a black sweatshirt with neon green athletic shorts and my hair was in a messy bun. I literally did nothing to myself. I just got out of bed, so yes I was wearing my pajamas and I had a naked face with no makeup.
I search up Jai in my contacts and press his name to call. The phone rung for a while but I didn't end the call, determined to speak to him. Soon it went to voicemail once the ringing stopped.
I let a sigh escape my lips and looked up at the light blue colored sky as I continued walking down the sidewalk. There was a small park down at the end of the street which mostly kids went to to play. I make my way to the park and walk along the gravel path leading to a rusty old bench. Despite the pitiful condition of the bench, I plopped down on it anyway. I lean back and stare at the sky again, thinking about what was left for me anymore.
Why didn't I just die when I attempted suicide? Why didn't my body just shut down? Why couldn't I just have my everlasting slumber?
These hoes be doing research, I swear she like this piece of hair off in the sink
Ain't come from me first, no, no
You hang around too God damn long it's like you need work
Man, these hoes be doing research
Doin' research
The song, Research by big Sean blasted from my phone as I was being called. I look at the lit up screen and saw that it was Jai. Quickly, I pressed the green accept button.
"Jai?" I say trying not to sound as excited as I was feeling.
"Hey Ari," he answers casually.
"Well I guess you know that I called," I continue, "and I just wanted to talk to you after what happened earlier."
There was a long pause.
"Yeah, I'm sorry," Jai says quietly.
"Don't be. You had the courage to do what I couldn't?"
"What would that be?" He asks.
"Admit that I love you," I giggle softly.
Another pause caused me to become anxious. Cant he just please say something so my statement isn't just hanging there. I told him I loved him again...
"I gotta go," He mutters, shocking me.
"Are you okay?" I say, my voice cracking as I spoke.
"I'm fine but I need to go. Bye."
The line was dead and everything became blurry. My eyes were beginning to water and I couldn't see clearly. I gently dabbed my eyes off with the back of my hand.
Why did he have to go as soon as I flirted with him? That was very strange. I had grasped the courage to actually call him but he makes up an excuse to end the call. Actually he didn't even make an excuse..he just had to go.
I look at the sky once again seeing that it was now gray with clouds fully covering the before bright shining sun. I mentally groan at the now ugly sky until I feel a wet drop of something fall onto my forehead. I sit up and move my hand in front of me, pointing my palm upwards. Several seconds later I feel two drops fall on my hand, this time being larger then the other drop.
I lift my head up, and it begins to rain, the raindrops beginning to become more intense.
You gotta be kidding me!" I yell, running through the park, back to the sidewalk, on the way to return to Colleen and Josh's home.
__________________________
Ariana:
Worst chapter EVER but NEXT CHAPTER I'll be letting you in on Jais perspective. Then you can see why he hung up on Ariana :)))
I literally fell asleep while writing this...writing and trying to study for finals at the same time is freaking impossible so sorry. I'm stressed out now XD lol
Well VOTE and COMMENT and star tuned for the next chapter.
Stay awkward Palm Trees🌴🌴
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
