Chapter 17 - I'd rather die than be with you.

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Zak's POV:

I woke up in the middle of the night.

I couldn't really sleep.

I had a particular question in my mind.

'Does Darryl like me..?'

He had kissed my forehead earlier, and as much as I enjoyed it...wait. No ! Not like that..

As much as I was CONFUSED by it, it made me flustered.

Thankfully he was just as embarrassed so he didn't see my red face.

I realized I was still holding onto him.

Earlier, I had told him the truth about everything.

How I felt about myself, others, my issues.

I wouldn't have told anyone else, but... I felt like he deserved to know. He needed to know.

I decided to try and get up, to get some water and cool down.

As much as I love cuddles, especially with Darryl, I was starting to get hot and uncomfortable.

I gently tried to make him let go, but when I tried to get up, he held onto me tighter.

I felt my face fluster, I continued to try and get up, but there was no point.

He didn't want to let me go.

I sighed, defeated and just layed with him.

I turned around so I could see his face.

He looked peaceful.

I smiled gently and placed my hand on his face.

I caressed his cheek and used my other hand to play with his hair.

I'm guessing he felt it, because he pulled me closer.

At this point I was a flustered mess.

I had never felt these types of feelings before.

I never thought of him this way, I mean, He was my best friend.

Every thought I had of him was entirely platonic, up to this point.

I was developing feelings for him.

And just maybe... He had feelings for me too.

I never wanted to rush into things like this, but... I needed him.

I wanted to have an excuse to be clingy, I wanted to have an excuse for him to comfort me, I wanted to have an excuse to hold him like this.

I wanted to be with him.

I smiled thinking about what I would do if we were ever a couple.

I dug my head into his chest, hearing his heartbeat.

It made me calm, until I felt him ruffling my hair.

I smiled at this gesture and started falling asleep.

I chose to savor this moment,

Because, I knew deep down, these feelings were only temporary.

I knew I couldn't be with him, as much as I wanted to.... I can't.

I could never live with myself if I hurt him.

And as much as it hurts me, I'd rather live with the pain of seeing him with anyone else.

I love you Darryl. But we can't be together, I don't ever want to hurt you.

I'll stay by your side forever.


-End of Chapter 17-
-time taken: 20 mins-
-438 words-

Thank you for reading :D <3

A/N: This is just a filler, a bit angsty, especially the title LOL

A/N: I wanted to just write a filler to update you :) I.....drumroll.....GRADUATEDDD FROM MIDDLE SCHOOLL :D Im going to be a freshman in august, which means I have summer off :D

A/N: I will be daily updating now >:3 so I hope u enjoyed the story so far :) I have a general idea on how I want the story to be now :D

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