🩵┊Yanqing Oneshots [ Honkai Star Rail ] .ೃ࿔ ༘·°

[ GN!Reader ] ➜ Jokes On You!

                                            ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

                            - Cornered by the Stellaron Hunters, Yanqing gets a quick idea to strike up a deal with them.
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                                     You were cornered. Behind you, there was nothing but a far drop off of the Xianzhou flagship awaiting you. In utter shock, you snapped your head towards the Stellaron hunters. The trio of brutes held their weapons up to you and your companion. Beside you stood said companion— Yanqing. The Cloud Knight briefly glanced at you before sliding his sword into its scabbard upon his hip, dusting off his navy-blue clothes.

"Stay." Demanded Kafka. Blade quickly drew his cracked sword, threatening to put Yanqing in a grave with body movements alone.
Silver Wolf seemed to roll her eyes, folding her arms over her chest as if she were peering down upon Yanqing and yourself for acting unexpectedly. Yanqing remained calm, slowly lifting his hands to show he had absolutely no intentions of ambushing. He nudged you with his hip. "What?" You hissed under your breath.
"Trust me," he replied calmly, breaking into a soft smile. "Drop your weapons. Now. That's an order." His voice suddenly grew stern.
In an instant, you obeyed his orders like a cowering puppy. Your weapons crashed into the concrete, leaving you with your hands raised slightly. You suspected he'd lost his mind. That or Kafka had seized his mind already— either way, this was very unusual for Yanqing. Unless he has a plan. A grin lifted the corners of your lips, although you had no clue what was happening.

"Let's make a deal," said Yanqing, "I'll tell you a joke. If you laugh, you let us go. If not, we'll follow you." When he finished speaking, he glanced at you with a shimmering smile.
You snickered a tad, afterwards shaking your head with subtle disappointment. You were certain you'd both be slaughtered within moments— but hey, you trust him enough to try such an idiotic idea. Blade pointed his sword towards you, afterwards gesturing to the left. You eyed the weapons at your feet, afterwards nodding. Kicking under the weapon, you hoisted it upon your foot. You then tossed it away with a brief kick. Blade's hues shot a barbed glare at the weapon prior to fixating upon you once more. Kafka peered amongst her comrades, folding her arms over her chest. Silver Wolf planted her fists into her hips, eyeing Kafka with an unamused expression. "Do we have time for this?" She grumbled.
Kafka lifted one finger, "Go on. Impress me." Her crimson lips smirked at Yanqing, almost mocking his bravery. Maybe it was just stupidity, but you believed he had a reliable plan.

"Why doesn't Jing Yuan fart in bed?"

Your expression dropped. There was absolutely no way he'd make these people laugh with such an immature joke. At the same time, Yanqing had one arm wrapped around his waist as he began to laugh prior to telling the joke. The Stellaron Hunters all looked equally unimpressed.

"Because... hahaha—! It'll blow his cover—"

Instantly, you heard a sound that could be described with a single image.

"AHAHAHA— COFF COFF..! HAHAHA!"

In an instant, Blade was on the ground. Tears formed in his eyes as he wheezed hysterically in a fit of wheezy laughter infused with stale coughing. Silver Wolf and Kafka snapped their heads in his direction, their eyes bulging with surprise. Just like Blade, Yanqing crumbled to the ground in an outburst of laughter. The boy began rolling on the ground, kicking his feet as he laughed. Blade's wheezes resumed, one of his hands cupped over his mouth as he did so.

Silver Wolf stared into Kafka's eyes, both looking absolutely floored with shock. "What the fuck." She deadpanned.
Kafka shook her head in disappointment, "We have lost our agreement." Said she.

In an instant, you began laughing yourself. You quickly gathered your weapons, swiftly tugging Yanqing under your arm before fleeing the scene of Blade rolling on the ground. As expected, the hunters simply watched you flee without much protest apart from angered expressions and glares towards Blade(who was incapacitated by laughter).

Blade fr;