[ GN!Reader ] ➜ Fear Of Abandonment

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                                            ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

                            - You awake to the sound of your companion, Yanqing, attempting to flee into the night

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                            - You awake to the sound of your companion, Yanqing, attempting to flee into the night. You stop him and question why.
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                                         The wind howled, shaking the walls of the hotel you had decided to settle in with your companion. You were lying on your back upon the mattress, eyes fixated upon the ceiling with nothing but your thoughts occupying your mind. Everything happened so fast. With the Astral Express halting, and the frozen planet— life was completely out of control for you. You felt so guilty for dragging Yanqing into your mess, yet you couldn't bring yourself to replace his company. He's truly the only one you wish to spend your time with. All you wish to do is stay close to him, happily relaxing in one another's presence. You heaved a soft sigh, afterwards relaxing into the mattress.

Creakkk..

Your eyes shot open in a way that practically said "what the fuck" for you. You hoisted yourself upright, head snapping in the direction of the disturbance. There Yanqing stood, his hair undone from its usual ponytail. It was silky and beautiful, even in the darkness. "Morning." You groaned.
Yanqing has been quite fatigued lately. It surprised you to see him awake and leaving the hotel so early in the morning.

"Good morning," the boy seemed on edge about something. "We should postpone sparring today."
Instantly, you were wide awake. This was very unlike Yanqing. "What. Sorry, say that again?"
"We can spar tomorrow, okay?" His voice wasn't a request, it was a plea.
"We can," your expression softened. "What's going on, man?" You gently asked.
He perked his head. "Nothing?" His tone sounded extremely uncertain.
"You don't postpone sparring, you never do. Even when you were injured, you persisted."
"Right.. I have something to do today, it's not like being injured. When I'm injured, I still have free time."
"Mm-hmm." You hummed, wholeheartedly unconvinced. "You don't have to stay with me, but at least tell me where you're going. I'll put your hair up for you."

You always tie his hair into a neat ponytail, every single morning. It has become tradition for you both to do this, and you found yourself struggling to have a good day if you don't. However, Yanqing's expression appeared uncertain. "Let's— let's not. I'll just go."
"Hmm? Oh, that's fine. But why?" You felt obligated to ask.
At this point, Yanqing had begun to clam up. "Um. You— uh.." he trailed off.
"Yanqing," your expression knitted with concern. "Are you okay?"
He heaved a sigh of defeat, approaching the bedside with his head hung like a guilty puppy. He flopped into you, his chin resting upon your shoulder. You remained steadily seated upright, coiling your arms around him. He then crawled into your lap, making himself comfortable. "I know we've been doing a lot more together, but I still didn't feel like I was enough— so, I was going to train more to make you proud."

That explains all of the recent fatigue he's been experiencing.

You shook your head, "What made you think you weren't enough to begin with?" This question was asked as you brushed his lengthy hair back, beginning to gently play with it.
"I wasn't thinking that, I was just scared I'd fall behind," he confessed in a low whisper. "The general says I just need time, but I feel like time will take you first."
Your heart swelled at the thought of him genuinely thinking of you as more talented than himself, even though you would never exceed his abilities. With a soft sigh, you put your hand upon his chest.
Yanqing grabbed your wrist in his hand, his digits forcing your hand open gently. He then placed a maroon ribbon into your palm, much like the general's hair tie. You accepted it with a soft grin, afterwards beginning to tie his hair up into its usual ponytail.

"Falling behind is something that can be fixed. It's okay to run into a roadblock and it's very normal. However, I will never leave you behind. No matter the consequences, no matter the problem, even if it means I will die; I will never leave you."

Yanqing's smile softened, his eyebrows knitting as his eyes began to water. He placed his hand over his lips, his entire complexion flushing red gradually. You couldn't help laughing, afterwards kissing his cheek. He wrapped his arms around your torso, ducking into your clothes. "I love you..!" He whined.
"I love you too!" Your excited voice responded as you curled around Yanqing's head. After uncurling from him, you began aggressively kissing him all over his facial features. Every single thing that you love. From the way he smiles ear-to-ear with pride whenever his swords dance around himself, to the way his face would flush with anger whenever you pricked him with a pointed sword— everything was to be loved.
You couldn't help feeling sorrowful as the boy began to cry tears of happiness. Hearing you promise to never abandon him truly touched him in a way that nothing else could. Your hands navigated onto his back, gingerly rubbing up and down as a means of consoling him. "Hey, it's okay," a toothy smile lifted your lips. "I'm here. Let it out, Bud."

With a soft wail, the boy ducked into the nape of your neck. He grasped your clothes tightly in his callused appendages, his sobbing face hidden in your clothes. You began gently stroking down the length of his ponytail, remaining smiling. Hand sliding onto his cheek, you used your thumb to dry his eye. You wouldn't tell him to pull himself together, nor demand he stops crying. To you, this was exactly what he needed. It felt as though you'd melt into a puddle of Trailblazer. Yanqing happens to be the cutest being you've ever laid eyes upon, and you can say it with upmost confidence in yourself. Even then, it was about time that you cheered him up.

You nuzzled your nose into his cheek, grinning from ear-to-ear as you did so. "Hehe, I love you."
Yanqing began laughing as you tickled his sides, his hands grasping your wrists as he did this. "Hey—! Quit it..!"
Laughing hysterically, you resumed tickling the swordsman. "Agh, the greatest Cloud Knight, bested by tickles! Whatever shall he do—?!"

No matter the turning of the tides, I will forever stay by your side. Even if that turning is just finding out where you're ticklish.

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