🩵┊Yanqing Oneshots [ Honkai Star Rail ] .ೃ࿔ ༘·°

[ GN!Reader ] ➜ When He Cries

                                            ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

                            - A brief look into Yanqing's troubles.
                              ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
                                    ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊
                                    ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩
                                    ┊ ┊ ┊ ✫
                                    ┊ ┊ ︎✧
                                    ┊ ┊ ✯
                                    ┊ . ˚ ˚✩

                                 Why is he crying?

☁︎ He doesn't just cry, he sobs.

☁︎ Even though he never knew them, he misses his family immensely.

☁︎ He always has to be perfect, or else he fears that everyone will abandon him.

☁︎ He isn't great at handling emotions, often causing him to act impulsively on emotion alone.

☁︎ He will never feel like he's enough.

☁︎ In outbursts of rage, Yanqing has shattered numerous mirrors. That terrifies him.

☁︎ He finds it extremely difficult to control his own anger, so he locks himself in isolation and sobs to himself while he remains in constant terror of himself.

☁︎ He strives to become the sword champion, but in the back of his mind, he wishes to curl up and never come out. He's terrified of hurting people that he loves simply because he can't control his anger.

☁︎ Whenever he fails a test, he hurries to hide it from Jing Yuan. He then wallows in guilt and shame as he wastes away struggling to improve so the general won't abandon him.

☁︎ He's only told you and Jing Yuan before, but his backstory really messes with his head. When others ask, he brushes it off and tells them that he doesn't care. However, he truly does.

☁︎ He is consistently checking locks on doors when he's alone. It's like he's afraid of someone seeing him so weak and pathetic.

                            What does it look like?

☁︎ Full, unhinged, and heartbreaking sobs. As tears stream down his face, he'll place his inner wrists beneath his eyes in a futile attempt to cease the downpour. His expression contorts every second-or-so as he struggles to calm himself. He doesn't know how to handle it when he panics, so he hides under his blankets and places a pillow over his face. From there, he just lets it out. He scream-cries, wails, and begs to the empty oxygen for someone to hold him and tell him it's going to be okay.

                             Who does he go to?

☁︎ Either you or Jing Yuan.

☁︎ With Jing Yuan; he hesitantly approaches the general with his eyes glistening as a waterfall of tears evacuates down the sides of his face. He feels the weight of anxiety crushing him as he begins to drift into an anxiety attack. He's just an idiotic burden, right?
The gray-haired general will sit down in a secluded area with his son, tenderly cradling the boy close. He pets down the length of Yanqing's blond ponytail, mumbling sweet sentences to him in order to relax him. He constantly reassures the tiny lieutenant that everything will resolve in time. Jing Yuan will then allow Yanqing to rest in his arms. He occasionally kisses the top of Yanqing's head and his forehead, whispering about how proud he is to call such a talented child his son.

☁︎ With you; he called you after struggling to put himself together. Even though he did his best to hide it, you could hear his voice wavering. You asked if he was okay. He gave you a very uncertain "mm-hmm" in response. Not being convinced, you asked him where he was. As soon as he told you, you rushed to get to him.
You could hear him begin to break down again. He sobbed out blurbs of sentences that rocketed worry throughout your entire headspace.
Upon arrival, you hurried to whatever room Yanqing may be in. You found him in a sobbing mess, embracing his sword and scabbard tightly as he laid on the floor. Dropping into a crouch, you pushed his sword aside, allowing him to instead latch onto you. You rubbed and pat his back, bouncing your lap up and down to distract him.
You insisted on staying with him that night, and needless to say, he appreciated it.

                              What comforts him?

☁︎ Being held. He really loves putting his chin on your shoulder without worrying how ugly he must sound whilst crying.

☁︎ Having his hair played with/brushed. This relaxes him as is, so it's quite effective while he's upset.

☁︎ Head-pets.

☁︎ Being told that it's okay. This has a stellar effect on him.

☁︎ Just letting his frustrations out through furious sword-swipes.

                         What makes it worse?

☁︎ Being reminded of his unknown origins. He knows, and he hates it.

☁︎ Being told to stop crying. He's trying.

☁︎ He cannot stay raveled when someone scolds him whilst he's already down. He just breaks.

☁︎ Being hungry

☁︎ He hates being alone. It just makes him feel so goddamn alone.

                           What are his habits?

☁︎ He tends to actively seek out something to hug/hold. It makes him feel more secure when he does, though he prefers to be held.

☁︎ He tends to only cry when he's in his own bed, hiding amidst pillows and blankets.

☁︎ Whispering in a useless attempt to comfort himself. He tries his best to not burden anyone, but in the end, no one should shoulder anguish alone.

☁︎ Drowning his wails in pillows/plushes.

                                Poor baby. :(