Steal my Heart.

12

As soon as I reached home, I went straight to my bedroom. I have this tendency to speak rubbish I don't mean when I'm angry, so I try to stay away from people at that time. The last thing I want to do is upset someone I care about. They shouldn't be dealing with the mess that is my life.

I open my hair and flop down on the bed, not bothering to go to the bathroom first or keep my things in place.

All I can think is of how humiliated I felt at that moment. How my skin still burns when I think about it. Sure, Sassy is a mean, rude person; but I did nothing to be talked to like that. I've never crossed her path or even talked to her for that sake, why does she have to behave like that with me?

Sure, I'm a pathetic, stupid person who can't stand for herself and needs to be more assertive. But the fact that hurts the most is that I thought Alastair will do something for me. That too, is entirely my fault.

Just because he was nice to me and we had some coffee and a few moments, I'm beginning to act like a damsel in distress. Why will he step in for me? A part of me wanted him too, and that's the worst of all.

I'm starting to become dependent, that too on someone I can never rely on. Alastair Kerr will just be a friendly stranger to me, and nothing else.

I feel like an idiot now, I actually stood there and waited for him to say something; or for that, anyone. I'm weak. I'm seventeen and yet I felt like crying. I hate myself for this. I wish I was more confident, more self assured. When will I achieve self actualization?

Someone knocks on the door and I grumble a 'come in'.
I'm lying on my tummy and I feel someone's hand stroking my back. Mom. Of course, only she can feel so warm and nice. I place my head in her lap and all I want to do is curl up in her arms and sleep.

There's something about mothers. No matter how old are you, whenever you want healing, you go to your mother. She's like a sweet medicine. And then there's something about her touch and her hugs, you can never get enough of it. Truly, there is no one like a mother.

The thought of how Alastair stays without his parents crosses my mind and I lock it away.
"What happened Grace?" She asks as she runs her fingers through my hair.
"Nothing." I say, playing with the hem of my top.

"Growing up I see. Faking smiles and hiding things from your mother." She says and I sigh. I narrate the incident to her, leaving out the details about Alastair. I didn't even mention his name, I don't know why.

"It's not easy being your age Grace. Have you ever thought that Sassy might be having her own problems and this is her way of dealing with it." She says and I groan.
"It's not that mum. There is no excuse for being unnecessarily mean to a person." I whine and mum kisses my forehead.

"Teens are like that Grace. I know you're not like that but most of them are. They're fighting their own battles, figuring their selves out. Even you are confused, dazed and unsure of yourself. That doesn't mean you're bad. A person is never evil or good, it's all about the circumstances darling. No matter how much you're hating everyone now, you'll miss all of this when you grow up. The thrill, angst, confusion, feelings, all of it. Even the good parts and also all the crying and complaining. Time will pass, and before you know it, you'll be an adult. Enjoy all this while it lasts. Chin up princess, or the crown falls. Can I leave my beautiful daughter and go to my own room now?" She smiles at me and despite my pent up, mixed feelings, I smile back at her.

"Beautiful? Me?" I scoff and mum turns back to face me from the door.
"You are. Just wait until someone makes you realize that." She says and leaves. Alastair's face crosses my mind and I erase it out of my head.

Feeling better, I get up to go for dinner. What sort of issues could Sassy have? Maybe I just need to let things flow and take them like they come. There is no point in stressing. However it is supposed to be, it will happen.

I go to the kitchen and see Vanessa already sitting there, texting away on her phone.
"Hey Van, how's Simon?" I ask and she widens her eyes at me, keeping a finger on her lips.
"Can't you be a bit quieter?" She whisper-shouts and I pour out a glass of water to drink.

"You still haven't answered my question." I point out and she sighs, getting a dreamy look in her eyes.
"Magical." She says and I roll my eyes. Only Vanessa can have a crush on a guy for a month, know him since one week and then describe the relationship between them as magical. But then I guess love isn't about how long you guys know each other. Some people know each other for years yet they end up getting separated. Some know each other for barely a few weeks and are the centres of each other's worlds. I'd like to have a love like that someday.

Mum enters the kitchen and starts serving us food. Once again, there is delicious grilled chicken for dinner and I momentarily forget all that transpired today after eating it. I even feel kind of guilty for just walking off. Hardly twenty minutes were left for the hour to get over and I walked out on them like that. Maybe I should have finished all my duties and then left. I'll apologize to John tomorrow and even figure out the matter. I'm okay with the help desk and I'll do my job. Personal and professional lives should be kept apart anyways.

I call it a night and slip into my bed, sleep catching on to me almost immediately.