Steal my Heart.

34

As soon as I reached home, the tears started to flow. Usually, I don't cry. According to people, I don't have a reason to cry. I'm not damaged, I don't have a fucked up past, my grades are good, my family isn't broken, I've never had a broken heart. I don't have anything worth being sad over. But sometimes, all of this catches up with me and I need to let it out too.

My emotions and unspoken feelings keep piling up and one day, they all explode. Today is one of those days. I miss my dad. I miss having him around. He had been here for all of my childhood but missed my teen years. Things would've been so much better. Mom wouldn't be so stressed and I'd have some protective male loving me, taking care of me.

Then my lack of friends. I do have few, but I feel so lonely. Kids my age go out and have fun all the time. I just sit at home and study. Is this some form of a social life? Even my younger sister has better things to do than me.

And now, Alastair. For once, I don't want to be ordinary. I'm the kind of girl who is boring. Who is a side character. If this was a novel, Melissa would've been the lead and I would've been the best friend. There's the sarcastic nerd, the bad boy, the popular girl, the best friend, the funny guy; but there's never a plain character like me. I'm usually a supporting role, the second best. No one will ever write a novel about me, no one would like to read about me.

That is why I am not good enough. I am just so average. And when Alastair Kerr, with his rusty bike and deep voice, entered my life, he made me feel special. He turned my world upside down. For once, I felt like I was liked too. It sucks to go unnoticed all the time.

I sob some more and wipe off my nose with my sleeve. This is what heartbreak feels like. The pain is almost physical. My heart constricts when I imagine the scene when he would've gotten that lipstick mark.

I was wrong. He may not be a bad boy, but he is not very different. All the conversations, the eye contacts, the fleeting touches; it must be a figment of my imagination. Why will he ever like me? I'm not even good for his reputation. I'm glad it's the weekend. I wouldn't have to see him for another two days.

Maybe I can forget him. Maybe all of this was just a phase and I'll get over it. A single tear trickles down my cheek as I replay the scene in my head. Turning over, I shut off the lights and my eyes. Maybe I'll get some sleep. Despite everything, I do hope he is okay.

I already miss him.

Alastair's Point of View

I fucked up bad. But when do I not? I have a knack of messing up all the good things in my life. I think I'm unlucky that way. Dad was right, I burn everything I touch.

The look on her face when her gaze stopped on my neck pained me. Immediately, my hand reached up to wipe it off. But it was too late. Gracie had assumed the worst.

My hand had reached out to hold her's, but I didn't. That's what I needed to do right? Push her away, for the betterment of both of us. Our universes don't collide. And no matter how much I want to stay in her world, I can't shake off the darkness that will accompany me.

Maybe she liked me too. There was a little chance, but I permanently screwed that up. It had to be done. Sometimes, heartbreaks are necessary and the best way to go is to let go.

I miss her right now. Her sweet smile, her blush, I lost my most precious gift. But she mustn't know about Audrey. She will think of me as exactly what Sassy described, a beast. She thinks I am a well loved, great guy. If only that was the truth.

I need to forget Gracie, I need to get her out of my system. My bed creaks as I roll over. Pulling out the box of sleeping pills from the cupboard, I pop one in my mouth and gulp it without water. I hadn't taken them since Audrey's death last year. I need some relief from the pain now.

Gracie's Point of View

The next morning, I take my cup of milk and a chocolate bar and sit near the veranda. I nibble on it and look at mom who is hanging washed clothes. I want to help her, but I just feel so physically and mentally tired that I keep sitting there.

Eventually, she looks at me and concerns fills her eyes.
"Why are your eyes so puffy? Didn't you get enough sleep last night?"

"I'm fine." I reply. "What do you do if you thought a certain way about someone, but they turn out to be something else?" I add as an afterthought.

She pauses before replying. "We don't judge people properly Grace. I believe everyone should be given a chance. Maybe we created an idea of them, put them on a certain pedestal? Sometimes, we must look at things from their point of view too." She says and I want to clap. She's so wise. Even I want to be like that, I want to inspire people when I speak.

"I hope this isn't about Alastair." She says as she picks up the empty bucket and moves inside. I sigh. Moms, they know everything. That's why they're so wonderful. You don't have to tell them anything, and bam, they know.

I pick up my phone.

Me: Are you free today? I want to meet you.

Mel🎀💞: Yes. Is 5 good for you?

Me: Perfect. 5 at your place.