The Rozovsky Heirs 10: Adam Mikolos Rozovsky

Chapter Twenty-five

Chapter Twenty-five

Happier

I remember now.

It's not that I haven't noticed. Because I already did. I was watchful of my son's actions. Many times I wanted to know all of his feelings... His emotions...

Gusto kong malaman ang nararamdaman ng anak ko. Kung ayos lang ba talaga siya sa buhay na mayroon kami... Kung okay lang ba talaga sa kaniya na lumalaki na siyang kaming dalawa lang. I wanna know if he's hurt... Because I would bleed more for him...

I remember his past reactions.

One time it was their family day at school. It was last year when he was still in kindergarten. Ako lang ang kasama niya while his classmates have both parents...

"Mikos, anak, can we talk?" I gently asked him one day.

I wanna talk to my son before I leave again for work. Iiwan ko siyang muli kanila Kuya Levi.

Bumaling sa akin si Mikos. "Yes, Mama." Pumayag naman siya.

Bahagya akong ngumiti at pinalapit siya sa akin para makapag-usap kaming dalawa.

All this time I've been waiting for him to talk to me. To ask me questions about his Dad. Kasi alam kong nagkaka-isip na rin ang anak ko.

But now I thought that maybe my son was also just waiting for me to talk to him about it. Naisip ko na baka nga pareho lang din pala kaming naghihintay. And I didn't want for my son to wait any longer.

I know that he's curious about who his father was. At alam ko rin na marami rin siguro siyang mga katanungan sa kung nasaan ito at kung ano ang nangyari sa amin.

"What is it, Mama?"

I was looking at my son's face that would also remind me of his father. Alam kong makikilala rin naman siya ni Adam kapag pinakita ko sa kaniya ang anak namin. And I hope that he accepts him. He can be mad at me, curse me until the end, because of our history. Pero labas na doon si Mikos. I want him to look at our son without thinking of me or my faults. Dahil alam ko naman ang nagawa ko sa kaniya. And I just want us to focus on Mikos. Kung maari, dahil lumalaki na ang bata.

"Mikos..." I looked at him. "About... your father..." Marahan akong huminga pagkatapos, and I tried to calm myself down.

It's still not easy.

Matagal naming hindi pinag-usapan si Adam. And now I decided to finally open it up to Mikos. Dahil gusto ko na rin na malaman ang iniisip niya.

You see, I noticed he's growing up to be a more quiet child. Natatakot na rin ako na baka dumating pa ang araw na hindi ko na talaga malalaman ang nasa puso at isipan ng anak ko...

Mikos was looking at me, too. Ngayon ay nagkakatinginan na kaming mag-ina.

"Papa..." He said.

At parang saglit naman na bumagsak ang puso ko. The way he said it para bang nandoon ang kaonting excitement niya, na kahit hindi pa niya gustong ipakita sa akin ay nahahalata ko pa rin. He definitely looked like he really wanted to know about his Dad.

I'm so sorry, Mikos...

My heart breaks.

"What about him, Mama?" He probed.

Hindi ko agad matugunan ang anak ko, because of my emotions building up.

And then he added, "Did he asked about me? Will I see him now? Where is he? What happened?"

Tama ako na marami na ngang tanong ang anak ko tungkol sa ama niya.

And I feel so sorry for my son. I felt selfish for doing the things I did in the past... that affects my own son now.