You loving me is my biggest flex

8.

"Would you like to spend more time together?" He asked and held onto her hand before she could get out of the car.
What did she want? Did she feel safe with him? Did she want him to hold her again? Hear his voice? Hold him? Now? She wasn't sure.
"I'm not sure."
"Will you listen to me? I kind of feel like I need to tell you about myself. And I kind of also need some advice."
"Alright. Let's go to the beach, we can go looking at the sunset."
He nodded, closed his car and followed her down the beach.

"..."
"So? What did you want to talk about?" She asked him.
Both were seated in the sand, their shoulders touching. And Grisu was incredibly aware of that sensation in her left shoulder.
She tensed and looked to the side.
And then their eyes locked.
He looked at her so kind and warmly that she felt electrified.
She smiled sweetly at him and locked their fingers as if to encourage him to begin talking.
"I am messed up, Grisu. I'm sorry I dragged you into my fucked up life."
"I went there by myself, silly."
"No, I mean it! I am aggressive and impulsive and I say so many rude things all the time that I lost count! I am not sure how I feel and why I feel and I am constantly walking on a thin line while fearing to drown in the madness that surrounds me. I'm losing my grip of reality and I am struggling to remain focused— I did bad things, Grisu."
"I know some."
"They told you didn't they?"
She nodded but kept on holding his hand.
"Why don't you hate me?" His voice sounded so hurt and fragile.
"Because you didn't do any of those things to me. I won't judge a person by the gossip I hear."
"I am not a good influence."
"But maybe I am," she said and looked at the ocean.
"I want to make my father proud. That's all I ever wanted. I'm doing it all for him but he never sees my effort! I hate who he hates and I like who he likes. But—but he destroys my life. I know it, I'm not blind! I-I'm aware I am totally dependent on him. He's so manipulative that it is tiring and embarrassing that I still fall for his tricks, but I can't seem to break free from it."
"You're human, Rafe. You can allow yourself to be weak, you know?"
"But he hates that."
"Maybe start doing things your father would hate you to do? Start your rebel phase and realize that life holds much more than it does when you follow stupid orders. I want you to be free."
"Free..."
"So, what would your father hate?"
"You."

(Song: Don't trust myself~Robinson)

And then he bent forward, their fingers intertwined even more, she felt the sand underneath her dress and bare skin. She felt the wind blowing her hair around, she felt his lips on hers.
She felt the warm touch magnetizing her as he pulled her closer, buried his hands in her hair and locked their tongues.
It felt like drowning. Drowning deep into an ocean of desire and pure lust.
She touched his short hair, his muscles under the light tshirt and his soft skin.
And she was floating.
The kiss lasted long and the tension burned the air between them.
Then it ended and he laid his forehead onto her's.
He breathed deeply and exhaled soundly.
"That was beautiful. You are."
He looked up, smiled widely, grabbed her cheeks and pulled her closer again.
Their lips once again touched.
She felt entirely protected, desired, loved.
She smiled against his lips and giggled.
"You are my first kiss," she said when they parted and laid her index finger on her now red and plump lips.
He raised his eyebrows and said: "That makes me proud, Grisu. You are a good kisser though."
She smiled again and wondered if she had ever smiled that often before.
"I want you. All of you."
She looked up and tried to read his facial expression.
His eyes glimmered with lust and passion.
"Already?" She asked a bit hesitantly.
"I've fallen for you three month ago."
"You did?" She said and felt her cheeks redden.
"But you don't have to answer, I was just being honest."
He bent forward and kissed her temple.
"Come, I'll bring you home."
He pulled her up and let their hands remain intertwined. And so they walked hand-in-hand to Aresu's home.
"I'll bring the vase, wait for me," he said, opened his car and walked beside her.
Silence surrounded them.
When he put the vase on the counter in the hallway, he wanted to say his goodbye and leave but she decided otherwise.
She couldn't think. Thousands of thoughts mingled her brain. But one thing was certain...
She grabbed his warm hand and made him turn around.
"I changed my mind, Rafe. Stay."