You loving me is my biggest flex

17.

(Song: Moth to a flame~ The Weeknd)
(Other Song: Daddy issues~The Neighborhood)
Aresu looked at him flabbergasted. Her eyes glistened with tears as she backed away.
"What?" She asked as if to hope that she misheard him.
"I am giving you that decision. I'm for real."
"B-but why? Are you serious right now? Where does that come from? Everything was fine yesterday?"
"IT WAS'NT! Not after you left!" Rafe screamed and punched his wardrobe. The wood creaked a little.
"Hey, Rafe calm down. Where does that come from? W-what happened?"
Her heart fluttered scaredly.
"He took fucking pictures, Grisu! HE FUCKING GOT 'EM ON HIS FREAKING PHONE! FUCK!" He hit the wood again and a small crack teared open.
"Who? Who took what pictures Rafe?" Her voice shivered by now.
"MY GODDAMN DAD!"
And Aresu's heart felt like it stopped beating. Her blood ran cold as if she was frozen in place.
"When?" Her voice sounded so fragile and far away.
"The day we swam in the ocean." Rafe looked away and covered his mouth with his now bloody hands. The knuckles were ripped open and bruises spread over the palm.
He sweated, Aresu could practically see the fear radiating off of him.
"Your dad took pictures of us? But—why?"
"Because he knows that you aren't a real Kook. He fucking knows everything! He said to publish them if you don't cooperate."
"But you'll talk to him right?"
Silence.
"Right? You'll try to go against it? I mean you are also on those pics!"
Rafe suddenly tensed and before she could realize it, he once again hit the wardrobe.
Aresu screamed high pitched and backed away.
That was not the Rafe she knew.
She did not know that violent man before her, did not recognize his cold eyes and this ruthless facial expression.
Aresu unknowingly stepped backwards to gain more space between them.
"Rafe? Answer me! You'll delete them, right?"
"No," he said and looked up.
Aresu's lip quivered and all the advices from her friends and all those fucked up stories about him filled her mind.
Oh gosh...
His dad had pictures of them... probably naked... making out... in public!
Fuck!
FUCK!
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!
"Why no?" She spat out and tried to remain calm.
"I—can't," Rafe said and once again massaged his chin with his index finger and thumb.
"I don't understand Rafe. I don't understand?! First you call me to come here, then you tell me to get rid of my friends and then you tell me your father took pictures of us and you won't even try to delete them or speak against him even if he'll publish them?! You do understand how fucked up that sounds, do you?!"

The last sentence was like an echo in the room, it filled every corner and every pore of Rafe, filling him with utmost disgust and hate. Towards himself...
And only himself.
Hell, he knew how fucked up that sounded but what should he do? He tried to talk against dad.
But dad was so strong... dad controlled him. Dad had hugged him when he obeyed.
Dad would be proud if he could pull Aresu to their side. Yes... if he could show that she decided for them, he himself wouldn't have to choose. She'd still be there, the pictures would get deleted and they could live happily after. And dad would be proud that he found such a wonderful girl. A girl he loved so so dearly.

"Grisu... There is no other way. He'll delete 'em them if you cooperate. And then we can stay together. We won't have to hide." He held his arms forward as of waiting for her to fall into his arms. Just like his dad always did.
His lips were curved into a bright smile that did not reach his eyes. He looked like he was blind, the life all drained from him, almost moving like a puppet on the strings. Gosh, he seemed so...lost. Almost psycho, the way he laughed at that request. Like out of his mind, like he was being controlled...
"Rafe, snap out of it please," she pleaded and grabbed his hands firmly, but not getting closer and rather protecting the distance between them.
"Or—or we just kill 'em all!"
Aresu's heart sank into a bottomless pit the moment this sentence left his lips.
Her knees shivered and her throat felt dry like sandpaper.
She closed her eyes to just escape from this situation for a split second.
And she wanted to wake up.
Let this be a dream!
A dream...
But when she opened her eyes she in fact still saw a heaving Rafe before her, shoulders tense, hands clenched into fists, nostrils almost shivering like his back.
His rigid eyes moving hectically around.
"Can we talk this through? It scares me when you do that," Aresu said and moved to the bed.
Just as she was about to sit down, he roughly pulled her up, holding her wrist in an uncomfortable grip. Ice cold and bloody fierce.
"Why talking? Why thinking? You just have to decide for me. That's all, love. That's all you gotta do!" He said and smiled before kissing her forehead.
"Rafe, no. You are not in your right mind right now. I don't know if you're on drugs or if your father's words truly manipulate you like that, but I'm not playing along. I will go and we will talk when you got rid of that anger. You scare me." She tried to wriggle out of his grip but he pulled her even closer.
"Let me go!" She hissed and pulled again.
"RAFE FOR FUCKS SAKE LET ME GO!" And now she had screamed. Loudly and from the top of her lungs.
"Why are you screaming at me?!" He said and pulled back, eyes now filled with tears.
"Nobody ever listens to me!" He curled up on himself and looked at her like he'd be the victim.

Grisu looked at her swollen wrist. Blue bruises already showing through her olive skin.
"I am not listening? I told you I would never decide for one side! Respect my opinion, Rafe! Why is that so hard? We should rather go to the police to report your father for taking pictures of us! That's not legal if you forgot 'bout that part."
"NO!" Rafe stepped aside and slammed his head against the wardrobe.
Aresu shrieked, moved back and watched in horror as he pulled his head out of the broken wood.
His forehead now showed a long red slash, even his lips were bruised and swollen.
Disoriented, he held his forehead and looked at the blood that now covered his palms. Instead of being shocked, he laughed at the sight and looked back to her.
"You will not report him! Dad will say it's my fault! Dad will be so mad! Can you not simply follow my orders? I love you so much!"
Aresu stayed silent, not knowing what to respond.
"You won't say something? I built this relationship, I made this work out! Dad said it and he's true, I love your body, I love the sex! I love... never mind if you won't say something I'll keep it short. I wanna continue to use you against dad. I want you!"
"Use me? Rafe let me ask you—what am I to you?"
"Dad says your my erection pleaser."
"And what does Rafe say, AS LONG AS THE PERSON I KNEW WAS NOT A TOTAL LIE!"
"DON'T SCREAM AT ME!" He shouted back and pushed her a little.
"Listen to me..." he continued „It'd be so much easier if you just did what I said and just killed them or I don't know...abandoned them. I don't care at this point, just don't leave me!"
"You listen to me! I won't decide for any side. Rafe I am not your possession!"
"You don't listen to me!"
"Neither do you!"
And right then Rafe snapped, he raised his arm, and before Aresu could respond or duck, the pain hit her full force.
Cold pain erupted in her cheek, that slowly began to burn like lava.
He hit her...
Right after that she turned around and ran through the door and out onto the clear streets.
The moon shone brightly, more brightly than her dark soul and the immense pain that darkened her vision.
In her inside, it was pitch black nothingness.
He heard steps behind her and before she could register or run, warm hands covered hers and pulled her around so that she could look at him.
But all she saw made her even angrier.