~<*>~ Music in me: seventeen fan-fiction ~<*>~

Chapter 37

"Good morning, America. We're back with some more news, but I have to start with some sad news. Yesterday evening, a 19-year-old man took his own life in the middle of the city. He jumped off of a rooftop under the sunset. We spoke to a friend of his, who was also at the scene and saw it all happen. The anonymous friend tells us that he'll probably be the most beautiful sky we will ever see. Prayers to the family."

Dino stares at the newsflash in shock and turns off the TV before he gets too emotional. He leans back in the couch with a sad sigh.
"I'm afraid that we won't have to look for Seungmin anymore", Scoups says softly while he sits down beside the brunette.
"Coffee?" the black-haired male adds while he hands Dino a cup of coffee. Dino smiles thankfully, but something just doesn't feel right to him. He takes a sip before he starts talking.
"I just don't know what to feel right now", Dino admits sighing and Scoups places his hand on Dino's shoulder as a sign of comfort.
"That's normal, you're just mourning", Scoups says and Dino looks in his black eyes.
"That's not what I meant. I don't know whether to feel guilty or not", Dino explains, holding back his tears.
"You don't have to feel guilty at all, we've done nothing wrong!" Scoups comforts Dino, but the brunette slams his cup onto the table frustrated.
"Are you serious?" Dino scoffs angry and Scoups looks at him confused.
"What do you mean?" Scoups asks and Dino clenches his fists in anger.
"Don't you feel guilty at all?" the brunette exclaims in disbelief and Scoups blinks in surprise.
"I already told you that we've done nothing wrong", Scoups responds calmly.
"Bullshit!" Dino yells, causing Scoups to flinch a little bit. The brunette can't believe that his leader is acting so normal about this. Doesn't he care at all?
"We treated him like a goddamn criminal! We made him feel stupid, useless and depressed. We've done nothing wrong? It's our fucking fault, damnit!" Dino yells and he walks over to the kitchen to pour his coffee away, he's not thirsty anymore. The brunette can hear Scoups following him, but at the moment, he only gets mad thinking about the black-haired male.
"I don't understand why you're acting all fucked up right now", Scoups says calmly. Dino turns around to face his leader and scoffs in disbelief.
"Why are you acting like this doesn't matter? Seungmin is dead because of us! We shouldn't have treated him like that!" Dino yells irritated and Scoups sighs.
"Yes, sigh deeply and think about what you've caused", Dino accuses Scoups and the leader looks the brunette dead in the eye. The anger rising up in his pupils scares Dino a little bit.
"Did you ever think about me?" Scoups scoffs, leaving Dino speechless.
"What was I supposed to do? Ignore my whole team? Bring them in danger? What if it was a trap, what if I got someone killed!? I have people to look after, Dino, not everything can go right." Dino opens his mouth to say something, but Scoups turns around and runs off to his room. The brunette sighs defeated and leans against the counter. He wasn't thinking about Scoups' feelings when he accused him, maybe he should apologize. But on the other side, Scoups should care more about Seungmin. But besides their disagreement, Dino decides to go over to Scoups and soon, the brunette is knocking on the leader's door.
"Come in", the deep voice answers and Dino opens the door carefully. Scoups is sitting on his bed, his back towards Dino and his hands in his hair.
"What is it?" Scoups asks when there is a silence falling between them. It hurts Dino a bit that the leader is not even turning around to face him.
"I uhh, I just wanted to apologize", Dino says, but the brunette doesn't take a step closer. He keeps standing in the doorway, he can almost feel the tension between them. Scoups hums shortly, encouraging Dino to continue.
"I know that it's a long time ago, but the fight we had right before I was kidnapped... I never had the opportunity to apologize. You had a lot on your mind and I shouldn't have gone all feral on you. So I'm sorry", Dino says softly, the brunette doesn't know why, but that fight has been wandering inside his head for a while. He has the feeling that he has to handle this before he moves on. Scoups sighs, chuckles and turns around right after. Dino looks into the leader's eyes, but he can't read anything from them.
"Thanks, I guess", Scoups mumbles and Dino smiles in relief.
"But why are you apologizing for a fight we had some weeks ago while we are having a fight right now?" Scoups adds and Dino blinks startled. He didn't expect the leader to think that way.
"I uhh, felt the need to apologize for my actions then", Dino explains while he plays with his fingers.
"And you don't feel the need to apologize for your actions now?" Scoups asks, raising a brow. Dino looks at the ground and inhales some air before he has the courage to look into his friend's eyes again.
"We are both wrong on this one", is all Dino has to say to the black-haired male. Scoups scoffs and surprisingly, laughs right after.
"You are unbelievable", the black-haired male says after he stopped laughing. Dino wants to smile, but Scoups' face seems to be screaming sadness and anger. This man is hurt deeply and Dino doesn't know whether it's him or something else.
"Scoups, I-", Dino says, but he shuts his mouth when he can't find the right words to describe how he's feeling.
"I don't think that we'll ever be able to agree on what happened to Seungmin", Dino mumbles and Scoups scoffs in response, "but I just think that we should do better." Scoups stares at the brunette for a while and Dino is starting to get a little nervous.
"I think that you made that clear already. I know that I'm doing a terrible job. Thank you for reminding me, Dino", Scoups answers sighing and Dino opens his mouth in defense.
"I don't mean it like that, I just-"
"What are you even trying to say, Dino?" Scoups interrupts him and the brunette clenches his fists frustrated. It's obvious that Scoups doesn't want to talk to Dino anymore but the brunette is done trying to get Scoups to open up to him.
"You said that I should think about how you feel more often, but how can I do that when you never show it to me?" the brunette asks, his voice trembling from emotion. Scoups' eyes widen for a bit, but the black-haired leader soon fixes his emotions again and he looks at Dino calmly before speaking.
"Show you what exactly?" Scoups asks.
"Your emotions, how you feel! You're like a wall, I can't reach you!" Dino yells desperate, when is his roommate going to understand what is bothering the brunette?
"That's just who I am, Dino. And it's fine because it's not a problem", Scoups responds and Dino can feel the anger rising in his body.
"It is a problem! You're endangering your team, goddamnit!" Dino yells, holding back his tears.
"How am I endangering my team? I didn't bring a spy towards them!" Scoups yells, suddenly raising his voice. Dino has to fight the urge to flinch, it does scare the brunette a little.
"Maybe if you open up more often, all of this wouldn't have happened!" Dino yells, trying to get his point across. Scoups looks the brunette in the eye, examining him.
"What are you talking about, Dino?" Scoups asks, suddenly as calm as a lake again.
"If you would've talked with Chan about what happened to your parents, maybe he wouldn't want revenge! Maybe he wouldn't have started a group that hunts us down! Maybe, we would all still be alive!" A silence falls down between the two males and Dino's words sound heavy while they echo through the room. Scoups looks at the brunette in disbelief and Dino notices a tear coming up in his leader's eye. Dino realizes that he has gone too far and his body feels numb from emotion.
"Scoups, I'm sorry, I-" Dino says, but he gets interrupted by Scoups rasing his hand to make him quiet.
"Please close the door on your way out", Scoups says softly, turning around so Dino can't see his face anymore. A tear rolls down the brunette's cheek while he turns around and closes Scoups' door. But only a second later, the brunette gasps in shock when he meets the eyes of a furious black-haired male.
"How did you get in?" Dino asks shocked while he quickly wipes away his tear.
"I still have the key to my old house", Joshua responds, clearly trying to keep his calm. Dino wants to say something, but Joshua cuts him off by putting his finger against Dino's chest roughly.
"You are such a fool, do you know that!?" Joshua grits through his teeth, "I swear to god that if Scoups is hurt because of you, you will be a dead man." Dino blinks in fear and swallows a dirty comment he was about to make.
"We just talked", Dino defends himself.
"And you just said some things that hurt Scoups to the spine. Great job, Dino, great job." Before the brunette can answer, Joshua disapeares into Scoups' room and shuts the door behind him. Dino sighs deeply and walks over to the kitchen. He fucked it up real bad this time.

~<*>~

Joshua looks at his leader worried. He's sitting on the bed, staring at the wall in front of him.
"It's me", Joshua mumbles quickly before his friend thinks that it's Dino again. Scoups tries to smile, but fails miserably. Joshua's heart aches knowing that the brunette has hurt Scoups a lot with his stupid words.
"You know that Dino didn't mean that, right?" Joshua comforts Scoups while he sits down beside him.
"Did he? Because it sounded pretty true to me. And besides, he's right." Scoups sighs and Joshua wraps his arms around his leader's body. Soon after, Scoups buries his head into Joshua's chest and he breaks down slowly. It hurts Joshua to see his leader cry like that, deffinetly when he doesn't deserve it at all. Joshua patiently waits and rubs Scoups' back while the leader is crying his heart out. After almost half an hour, the tears finally stop flowing and Scoups is quick to raise his head and fix his posture again. Joshua stares at his leader in surprise noticing that he is quite embarrassed. Scoups really has a hard time opening up since that accident. Joshua smiles encouraging while Scoups takes a deep breath.
"You're an awesome leader, believe me", Joshua whispers and Scoups smiles thankful.
"Aparently not, according to some people", Scoups sighs, referring to Dino.
"Dino is just a stupid, little jerk", Joshua scoffs.
"No, he's not!" Scoups defends his roommate, but Joshua looks at him in disbelief.
"You want to believe he isn't, but he has fucked up enough. And I don't mean deaths, I mean people's feelings. It's wrong of him to make you feel this bad when you don't deserve it", Joshua states firmly and Scoups presses his lips into a thin line.
"But he's right", Scoups whispers.
"No he's not!" Joshua yells frustrated.
"He is. It's my fault that all of this has happened. Chan is after me, not after you guys. So I have to stop hiding myself behind you guys, causing you to die." Joshua looks at his leader confused, waiting for Scoups to continue.
"I'm going to ask Chan to meet up with me. Alone. A fight between us two, the one who wins, wins. The other one loses. No more useless deaths", Scoups blurs out and Joshua looks at his leader in shock.
"You can't do that! You might get killed!" Joshua yells.
"Otherwise you guys do! I want this to end and there's only one way to do so. Getting it by the source. I have to do this, Joshua, for all of you."
"Even for Dino?" Joshua asks in disbelief.
"Especially for Dino", Scoups answers and Joshua sighs while he looks at his leader concerned.
"I guess that I can't stop you if you really want to do this", Joshua sighs and Scoups chuckles.
"I appreciate it, thanks." Scoups smiles and Joshua can't help but smile as well.
"If I don't make it, I'm sure that you will be an amazing leader", Scoups adds and Joshua gasps in surprise.
"Uhh, no. Deffinetly not. Just don't get killed, please." Scoups laughs shortly to that response, but Joshua isn't really in the mood for laughing.
"I'll try", Scoups says, but Joshua doesn't know if he can believe it.