Haven ✔️

Ch. 13 Kill

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
It was an interesting hour. Jamie stayed quiet as she sat on my lap. I hate how it's a struggle to get her to eat. Crosshairs and Drift tell me this has been an issue for two years.  
Another issue is that she is ready for a nap at only eleven in the morning. I know this is partly my fault Jamie has nightmares. Not even being away from here helped, damn it.  
"How will she be when she wakes up?" I ask.
"Hard to tell," Crosshairs replies.
"She could still be pissed at you," Drift adds, not hiding that he's still pissed at me.
I know he means this is the best we'll get for the day.

I leave the room, hoping this wasn't the only hour I could spend with Jamie. If it is, then I deserve it. I've learned what Sideswipe means by we're alike. Even with the little I know, I hate what humans have done to Jamie. She'd be alone if she didn't come up with this adventure. I hate how she still feels alone even with all of us, friends in other dimensions, and two guardians who have clearly become family to Jamie.

I go back to my room and work on some art, but it's hard to concentrate.
Two hours pass before I get a text from Ratchet. Oddly, I'm worried there's a problem. Sideswipe is here with me, so it's not about him.

"How much of the files did you read?" Ratchet asks.
"Everything, was I not supposed to? It is her file any Autobot can access."
"Then you know of her condition and the cause."
"Am I supposed to be pissed?"
"You can be; some Autobots are and don't understand why Jamie forgives Vegeta; they're even friends. You've read how Jamie can forgive, but you must be careful."
"It's clear she's complicated, Ratchet. So, am I supposed to have training to deal with her condition?"
"Not now; let's focus on one thing at a time."
I don't know if this is wise, but it'll likely be some time before I can do something alone with Jamie. That also worries me, alone with her. No way Crosshairs or Drift will let me be alone with her until they know she doesn't feel unsafe with me. It's after we get to that point and her condition that scares me. Just reading the public files, I get an idea of what Crosshairs and Drift went through during what is referred to as the nightmare situation, what Ratchet and Prime must have felt when they watched her. Something else that's interesting about her; to create this adventure at eight years old just to have something happen with permanent consequences a year later.
"How often do you think Jamie has considered ending this after what happened?" I ask.
Ratchet sighs, "we know she feels guilt when she wakes up, regardless of how minor the flare-up. At least fifty times, she's thought about ending this. I believe she thinks the same as she struggles emotionally and mentally; while others try to help her."
It's likely part of why Jamie doesn't terminate this; she knows she'd be alone — or I should say more alone, considering how she feels back in her dimension. Interestingly, this is on her public record.
With nothing else to talk about, I leave Ratchet's office and the medbay.

"What was that about?" Sideswipe asks as I close the door.
"Ratchet wanted to know if I knew about Jamie's other condition. The conversation turned into talking about how many times Jamie likely thought of ending this.
This still feels so new to me; I'm starting to care about others, other humans. She's considered a hybrid, but Saiyan only makes a small percentage of her DNA. Another part of Jamie that's a mystery.
"Someone's wishing they spent time with Jamie sooner," Sideswipe smiles.
"I couldn't even if I wanted to. Remember, Jamie, couldn't stay here long, unlike now?"
"No point in thinking about it now. I look forward to the new Sunstreaker."
"Oh, hell no! I hate humans; Lily and Jamie are the only acceptions!"

Sideswipe's P.O.V.
Oh, I doubt that, Sunny. I believe you when you say Lily and Jamie will be your only friends, but you can't work towards that while being an aft to her friends, Autobot and human.

Sunstreaker and I devise a plan though we need to talk to Crosshairs and Drift. We spent an hour talking about ideas.
"Let's see if Jamie is awake and will watch T.V. with us in the lounge room," I suggest.

Jamie is awake and laughing with Crosshairs' sister. Sunstreaker smiles for a second before turning around.
"I don't want to ruin her happy mood," he says before walking away.
I slowly approach the group, worried Jamie would panic. Lightning hugs her, hoping to keep Jamie relaxed.
"Hey, do you want to watch T.V. with me?" I ask her, hating she's looking for Sunstreaker as I'm asking, "Sunstreaker doesn't want to hurt you; he wants to be your friend. He truly was apologizing earlier."
I'm unsure how to feel about Jamie looking at Crosshairs and Drift for confirmation.
"He's right," Crosshairs assures her.
Jamie agrees to watch T.V. with me, but I can't spend time with her without Crosshairs or Drift until she realizes Sunstreaker won't be pissed at me for being with her.

Warning; graphic depiction of violence 

Third-person's P.O.V.
Sunstreaker watches the others go down the hall, wondering if he should join them since Crosshairs and Drift will be in the room. Instead, he waits a few minutes before going to the training room.
Five other soldiers are working out, but Sunstreaker ignores them and tries to get a good workout, but he's distracted. His workout only lasts for a short time.
"Look at the tough frontliner, depressed a human hates him," a soldier mocks, "he won't hurt any of us now-."
He can't finish his sentence as Sunstreaker punches him, resulting in the soldier falling to the floor.
"Rick!" Another soldier yells as Sunstreaker gets his knife.
"Who's weak now?!" He scowls as the tip of his knife touches the soldier's chest before Sunstreaker stabs him, killing the soldier instantly, "who's next?"
The other soldiers run out of the room. Sunstreaker cuts the soldier's head and limbs off before dissecting him. Organs are all over the floor by the time Sunstreaker is finished. A pool of blood at the dead soldier's torso.
Let this be a warning; I am not weak. Sunstreaker looks at his work, feeling proud, before heading to the showers.