Haven ✔️

Ch. 57 Attempting to be With Her

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
It's been a good twelve days. Even while Jamie is dealing with fatigue. We've been working on a large painting. This has been a distraction from Lily— until today, after hearing Lennox and Ironhide talking about how it's the first day of school. Now I think, how long before Lily can come here? And how to get her to befriend Jamie— if Jamie won't avoid her. I know I can't think of this right now.
Lily: I miss you. ☹️💔
I don't know what to say. How long before Luke talks to his parents? I need to focus on my relationship with Jamie until I know when Lily can come here or if I can go to her house.
"Sunstreaker?" Jamie asks.
"I'm fine."
"I thought you knew about my powers, but ok. Come on, Ratchet is taking this stupid cast off."
She takes my hand, pulling me with her.
Hmm, feeling you're surprised is different. Sideswipe comments.
Jamie wants me to go with her to the medbay, though she's just getting the cast removed. I explain.
That's good. Things have been going well. I think she considers you her friend.
I still feel uncertain.

Strangely, Jamie's guardians aren't waiting for her. Ratchet isn't worried, which is strange. No, the concern about Jamie's mental health hasn't eased that she wouldn't need somebot with her.
"I'm going to show you some exercises you need to do," Jolt explains, taking Jamie out of the exam room.
"Would you believe that she wants you to be the one watching her today?" Ratchet asks.
"Do we have to say watching her? But no."
"You're right; she's choosing to spend time with you. I didn't even tell her I was going to have her wait in my office if the meeting took longer than Jolt doing a little physical therapy before she said she'd stay with you."
"I just don't like how she needs to be watched rather than she wants to spend time with anybot."
I don't have to ask about the meeting since Jamie's guardians are there.
"No one does, but her mental state is still a concern."
"When do we stop feeling this way?"
"Eventually, we don't think someone always has to be with Jamie, but we will never stop worrying."
I think of everything Ratchet told me when we were at the beach. I still can't believe the scrap Jamie dealt with, and what does she still deal with?

I didn't think Ratchet would suggest taking Jamie to Dunkin Donuts. Ratchet wouldn't interrupt the meeting to ask Jamie's guardians, would he? I have Sideswipe join us but don't tell him so he can tell Jamie's guardians how the time out went.
Do you really think they'd think you're lying? Sideswipe asks. Do you realize they had to learn to trust you to get to this point? And if Jamie doesn't refuse to come with us, she trusts you. Though the fact she wanted you to go with her to the medbay isn't because she knows we worry about her. Drift could have had Ratchet get her from the cafeteria.

Jamie isn't afraid when I tell her I want to take her to Dunkin Donuts. I can't tell if she thinks Sideswipe is coming because he's being told to or not. Even as she takes my hand, I still feel uncertain. 

I must be dreaming, even though Sideswipe is the one who got Jamie to talk.
You know how hard it is for her to talk. Sideswipe argues.
That's not helping. She's talking to you, no problem.
You know her history. It's not easy for her to talk to me.
He's right; Jamie has been afraid I'd be livid at Sideswipe spending time with her. This is still good progress. Sideswipe is trying to get to know Jamie. With all the scrap I've caused, I can't believe he's finally talking to her. Two fragging months since the day. I consider it good she's talking to him while I'm here, but I hate how we got here.

Jamie's P.O.V.
I'm waiting for Sunstreaker to get pissed at Sideswipe for talking to me. Even if Sideswipe thinks he won't get yelled at. Sunstreaker is still a possessive glitch.
"He's not going to hurt us," Sideswipe says.
Sunstreaker looks as if he's thinking about leaving.
There's that energy again, but less intense. Sunstreaker leaves without saying anything to me. I know he said something to Sideswipe. Sideswipe is disappointed.
We don't stay long. Interesting, Sideswipe takes his class seriously but is still a lazy aft.

Crosshairs and Drift are working today, and Lightning couldn't take today off. It is strange that no one else is assigned to watch me since I know how much everyone worries about my mental health. Also, I find a piece of paper with the code for the twins' room in my pocket. Still strange even if this is planned, like yesterday.

Even more strange is that Sunstreaker is sleeping when I walk into the room. I know Sideswipe is teaching his class. I'm risking Sunstreaker being pissed, but I go into the room and lie on the bed. Leaving a little space between us.

"What are you doing on my bed, fleshie?" Sunstreaker asks with sarcasm in his voice. He moves me closer to him, "let's start over. I know you don't believe me, but I want to be your friend. I know you can't forget the nightmare you've had, but let's start over."
That energy is slowly building. I don't like his expression as he lies on his back. 

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
I'm tired of feeling like this. I can't even talk to Jamie without feeling like this, even with her choices over the past two weeks. Like now, why is she choosing to lie on me?
Sunstreaker?! I do not like what I'm feeling! Sideswipe panics.
I'm fine.
I don't want anyone interrupting us, but my anxiety worsens. I hope this plan wasn't a mistake.
"I don't know what to think," Jamie says, "the nightmare is terrifying and..."
I realize tears are rolling down her face. Even if she remembers the nightmare rather than the nightmare returned isn't great.
"I'm not going to hurt your family. Sideswipe is right about us being friends."
I still don't know what else to say. All I can do is hug her and have her listen to my heartbeat. The room is quiet for a few minutes until I hear her stomach.
"Time to go downstairs. Actually, I'm amazed Sideswipe isn't wondering where we are."
I hope the plan isn't. I'm left with her all day. I don't know if she'll start to think her family is dead.