Sweet. | J.Bellingham

12

'I try and I try, but I'm too sad to cry'

It all started when Laura's phone ringed, an unknown number showing on her screen. Laura hated answering unknown numbers because they were often adds or people calling the wrong person and she always felt so awkward telling them she wasn't the person they were originally reaching for.

But the phone had been ringing for a good five minutes and the girl couldn't stand the noise anymore so she made it stop and pressed on the green button.

'Hello ?' Laura's voice echoed in the silenced call. She could almost hear it resonate. Was there even someone on the line ? All she could hear were faint breathing. Breathing she swore she knew but couldn't put a name on it. 'Is that a joke ?' Laura took a few seconds thinking about her friends that could have loose their time by making stupid phone jokes to her but none of them were possible suspects so without thinking more, she said 'I'm gonna hang up now-'

'Laura.'

The hoarse voice ringed, destroying the silence Laura hated. But after hearing this not so new sound, she wished the silence had stayed. God she hated it. She had not missed a tiny bit of this syllabes ringing on this sharp tongue always used to make her feel so low she could see Lucifer's feet. Now she wanted to go down with him, even if it meant hell cause nothing was more painful that this voice.

Nothing could ever be worse than her mother's harsh voice.

A wave of memories hit Laura in the face while she was still trying to figure out what to answer or how to breathe properly. It was a flood now, there were water all around her, and all she could think of was this time her mother ripped her dress off of her and told her she couldn't wear it because she wasn't worth to feel pretty, or when she forced her to look at herself in the mirror while she was forcing her to eat for hours making her throw up on the carpet, or this time where they had spend the day at a friend of her mom and she had let her eat anything she wanted, making her believe that she had became great now and that all the bad memories were behind her, but when they came home, she forced her daughter to push her two fingers in the back of her throat and wait for everything to come out.

And now she was here, on the other side of the line, waiting for her daughter to answer.

And her daughter was freaking out. Was she supposed to act as if nothing ever happened, as if she had been a loving mother to her, as if she hadn't tortured her for years.

Without thinking, Laura hang up. She didn't want to hear her mom's voice, nor her breathing, she didn't want to have anything to do with her. Not after everything that had happened. A deep feeling of disgust took over and Laura ran to her toilets making everything come out, not on purpose for the first time in a long time.

Laura brushed her teeth keeping the tears in. Entering her room, she put the air conditioner on even though it wasn't that hot, she just wanted to feel the cold. Laura wrapped herself into her bedsheets and let the sadness strangle her.