Sweet.
j.bellingham
Laura never hated anyone as much as she hated herself,
But Jude couldn't help but see the beauty in every corner of her soul.
IN WHICH a boy desperately loves a girl that can't see him.
TW : This book contains a lot of talk a...
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She was a brunette, had gorgeous green eyes and a tiny waist that looks unreal. Jude would have thought she was beautiful if he wasn't so worried because Laura wasn't answering his texts.
When she sat next to him, the poor boy was forced to pay attention to her to at least to be polite. So Jude sighed and turned off his phone while answering to those stupid 'i want to go to know you' questions.
It made no sense, he did not want to get to know her. Nor any other girls. What was the point ? He had already find the one he wanted so badly.
Nora.
That was her name.
Why did it sound so much like Laura ?
It wasn't as pretty as Laura.
Well she wasn't as pretty as Laura so it did make sense.
How he wished he was with Laura right now.
Her arms, her smell, her home. Everything felt comforting there. Here it was hell on earth. A panic room.
"And you, what's your name ?" The girl that was unfortunately not Laura asked.
"Jude." But you must know that already cause you've been looking at me for the past fifteen minutes and you have this filthy thing in your eyes.
She had beautiful eyes.
Green with a pinch of brown turning orange around the pupil.
But Jude liked brown eyes more.
Marron eyes that looked like they could hypnotize you and make you fall in love within a few seconds. Drowning into it because they'd make you forget how to swim.
Jude loved Laura's eyes.
"I think you look really good in this outfit." She complimented.
It was an orange sweatshirt with a random black pair of jeans. Laura hated orange so he was never really wearing this. Obviously she would have said nothing while seeing him wearing orange but he would know that she hated it inside.
She always said that yellow suited him so much better. Jude remembered when she said she had never seen him looking better than when he was running in the field all dressed in yellow. He thought his heart was gone for good this day.
So Jude loved wearing yellow cause he knew he'd look good for Laura.
But tonight he just thought that he was tired.
Not of Laura cause he probably could never be.
But of himself, of his delusional thoughts thinking that if he'd dressed like she'd like and acted like she'd like, she'd finally fall for him like he dreamt of all those years.
So he wore orange.
Jude would have wore yellow and focused on his phone the whole night, he would have harassed his best friend until she'd answer and then smile released before driving to her house.
But tired Jude just wanted the pain and the thoughts of her to ease for an instant. So he smiled and flirted back.
Was he doing the right thing ?
He couldn't care less.
He just hoped that it erased her from his mind for a few minutes.
He realized it was wrong when his lips were on Nora's. All he could think about was those brown eyes and this killing smile.
Jude imagined it was her lips he was kissing. Her waist he was touching. Her perfume he was smelling. He heart he could hear beating.
It was the only way to not break the kiss because the idea of kissing another girl was disgusting him.
When he undressed her it hurt.
Cause she wasn't laura.
His fingers were burning and his heart was pounding telling him to runaway.
But he froze it, and focus on the sensation this Nora was procuring him.
Laura would probably be a thousand times better than her but he wasn't with her right now, and he will never be.
That thought ruined him a bit more and his heart got burned but he was used to the hot sensation in his chest.
So tonight he allowed himself to think about his pleasure.
Tomorrow he'll go back to loving her.
The back and forth could be heard in the whole appartement but all Jude could focus on was his girl.
His Laura.
Laura.
Laura.
Laura.
Why was he even with this girl ?
It was all a mistake. He should be next to the chubby brunette girl he loved so dearly. The one that made her heart melt without even knowing it. But he was here, fucking some random girl he found at a party. All because he was selfish.
Everything became blurry in his mind and he forced himself to finish because it would be so weird and mean to go like that.
Soon Laura's face slowly disappeared from his thoughts like he wished.
