WILDEST DREAMS | JENNA ORTEGA

eleven

Drivers license

Kinda sad

(1208 words)

...

"well, here it is, jen," you mumbled, staring at your new shiny license, "i did it..."

you covered your eyes from the blinding sun as you looked up, "if only you were here with me and i'm not just some idiot who's still hung up with her ex... talking to herself."

you walked towards your car, pausing on your steps before you could open the door. you stared at your reflection. you swallowed the lump in your throat, looking at your own reflection through the tinted window.

"get in, y/n!" Jenna rolled down the car window, her beaming smile peeking through the small space, "this car isn't gonna drive itself!"

driving away from the dmv, you pressed on shuffle play on a collaborative playlist you and jenna made. you let yourself aimlessly drive around the city.

aren't you excited? i mean, after you get your license, you'll be able to drive up to my house!" she grinned, grabbing another fry from your plate, "i don't need to drive all the way to your house, at 4 am, just because you want some cuddles again."

you scoffed in false offense, throwing a fry on her face, "that was one time!"

you took in a shaky breath, cursing yourself for getting overwhelmed with your emotions again. you rolled down your windows, letting the wind hit your face as the music blasted off your speakers. blinking away the tears that blurred your vision.

you checked your rearview mirror, making sure that the shift stick is in the right place, you carefully drove in reverse. tongue poking out in concentration.

once you've successfully parallel parked, you switch the car off and squealed, laughing alongside with jem, who has the biggest smile on her face, "you did it, babe! you didn't kill anyone,"

"shut up," you grinned, pulling her into a sweet kiss.

"i love you," she stole a few more kisses before settling back in her seat.

"i love you more."

how could you ever love someone else?

you knew that the both of you weren't perfect. you've had your downs just as much as you had your ups, but the two of you were in love. sickly. you didn't know what happened, and honestly, you weren't sure if you wanted to know.

one second you were on top of the world, and the next you were at rock bottom.

you've never felt so in love with a person before, and you were sure that jenna did, too, but your mind brought you back to the last time you saw her at the beach. she had the biggest grin on her face as she surfed the waves. you couldn't wrap your mind around the fact that she was doing okay without you.

she was on top of the world, and you were at rock bottom.

a honk from the car behind you snapped you out of your thoughts. you sniffed, wiping your tears away as you ignored the curses they yelled at you. you pressed on the gas, realizing you were below the speed limit.

you and jenna were on top of the hood of her car, soft music playing from the speakers. it was deep into the night, you had a blanket on top of the both of you as you stargazed. your head was leaning against her shoulder, her hand fiddling with your hair.

"you know i love you, right?" you whispered, a small smile adorning your lips.

she returned your smile, planting a chaste kiss on your nose, "mhm, i love you more than words can describe."

"s'just you and i,"

"forever."

you let out a choked sob as you looked back at the memory, taking in a shaky breath as you tried to compose yourself. you momentarily looked to your right as you passed by her house, her bay window was open, and you could see her reading a book with a bored look on her face.

she promised forever and now you drive alone past her street.

Ash flopped beside you on your bed, making you bounce slightly. you groaned into your pillow, shoving your hand on his face, "go away, i don't want you here."

he scrunched his face up and licked your hand.

you shot up as soon as his tongue touched your palm, and stared at him in disgust as you wiped it on his polo, "you fucking dick,"

he continued laughing at you, completely forgetting what he was supposed to do in the first place. you pushed him off the bed and buried yourself under the sheets.

Percy sighed as he approached you, tugging the blankets down as he stroked your hair, "c'mon, y/n/n, it's been weeks already, and we missed hanging out with you."

"yeah," ash agreed, running a hand through his tousled hair, "ogling at chicks isn't the same without you."

Caleb snorted as you threw a pillow at ash, "s'true though, y/n."

you pout your lips, trying to keep your tears at bay as you look at your ceiling that adorned a number of glow-in-the-dark stars, "i just miss her, y'know?"

they all let out dejected sighs, having heard of how much you've missed the brunette pogue. but the thing is, you kinda feel sorry for them. thankful that they're always there for you, even if they have to comfort you after every ugly sob, but still sorry that they'll never know jenna the way that you do.

"y/n-"

you stood up, slipping on your sneakers and grabbing your keys, "i'm going out for a drive,"

the boys shared a look of disappointment, their initial plan of bringing you out for a date went down the drain as they watched you drive off.

as you got in the car, you closed your eyes for a bit, taking in a deep breath before starting the engine and pictured that you were driving home to her.

before you could even stop yourself, you made the right twist and turns to the familiar streets to jenna's house. you stopped a few houses before hers, eyeing the car in front of you.

you watched as she went out the front door, laughing as she jumped into the car. you sighed, driving away before them, the blasting music from their van lulling down as you drove farther.

"i love you,"

"for forever and always."

she said forever and now you drive alone past her street, tears sliding down your cheeks.

you stopped at the sight of the red light glaring at you, harshly rubbing at your eyes to wipe out the tears. you leaned your head against the headrest, banging against it repeatedly.

you racked through your brain for any possible places you could get your mind off of things, but all you could think of is all the places that you used to go with her. the both of you have been to every niche and alcove imaginable.

you glanced as the seconds counted down until the green light. your eyes fleeted towards the sidewalks, watching as two teenagers started goofing off, reminding you so much of how it used to be, laughing over all the noise of the traffic.