Karl Jacobs
--
I look around the room to see familiar faces, but only a few people I actually know. They're all singing with drunk grins on their faces, but Sapnaps face stands out. He has his arm wrapped around Harmonys shoulders, she's her usual drunken mess but he's completely sober. He's grinning too, his cheeks are a light pink and he's singing the loudest. Lola is next to me, holding my hand and screaming the song into my ears. As they all finish singing I blow out the candles wishing for only one thing. Him.
Cake is shared throughout the room of people I barely know. Lola surprised me with a party even thought I didn't want one, I always celebrate my birthday at home with my mum. She bakes a small cake and we decorate it together. Dad is never usually around, it's like he remembers what day it is and decides to stay out all day. It feels so wrong being here at a party. A party that i'm honestly not even enjoying. I keep finding myself at these parties that I have no interest in, the only exciting thing is seeing Sapnap. When I walked inside and realised it was a surprise party I wasn't expecting him to be here. We haven't talked properly in a while, but there he was in the front of the crowd. Harmony was nowhere to be seen but Sapnap was there yelling surprise.
My arm is around Lolas waist as one of her friends gets a photo of us. She softly kisses my cheek and I just stay smiling at the camera. The flash goes off a few more times then the phone goes down. I begin to step away from Lola but i'm quickly pulled back.
"You need to get the classic kissing photo!" Lolas friend shouts as she begins to hold up the phone again for more.
I look at Lola, not sure if we should. She nods and I swallow the lump in my throat. I lean down and press my lips to hers, i'm instantly taken back to the night we kissed while I was drunk. Her lips are covered in gloss that feels too sticky, i'm not enjoying any second of it and it's just a simple peck. When I pull back I fake a smile while wiping the gloss away. Lola smiles at me and runs to her friend to see the photos, I slowly back out of the room to find somewhere more peaceful.
I keep wiping my lips, the feeling of sticky gloss just won't go away. Just like the feeling in my stomach. Nothing feels alright, it's a party for me but barely anyone knows my name. I just want Sapnap but I can't find him anywhere. I stare at the staircase, hesitating to walk up them and check rooms. Last time I done that I saw some things I never wanted to see. But I go up. I feel myself slipping, I just need my best friend.
I find him sitting in the study, Harmony is sitting on the couch near him. I knock softly and they both turn to see me.
"Everything okay?" I ask as I enter.
"Yea, Nick is just waiting for a call" Harmony smiles. "What are you doing up here?"
"Just needed a break" I say honestly. "It's all a bit much" I sit down next to her.
"Well if you're here with Nick then i'm going to go back downstairs" Harmony stands and walks out with another word. I look at Sapnap, I see his usual annoyed look on his face.
"What's wrong?" I frown.
"I'm not waiting for a call" he huffs, rolling his eyes. "We were talking and it got a bit heated".
"Oh" I pause. "Are you okay?"
"I-I" he goes quiet. "She wants me to go away next weekend but I can't. She's becoming so demanding and I have no idea why".
"When Lola is stressed she's very demanding".
"Lola is always stressed" we both let out a soft chuckle. "I know it's your birthday party, Karl, but I really don't want to be here tonight".
"Neither do I" the words come out as a whisper. "I don't even know anyone here. I just keep finding myself at these parties I never want to be at because other people want me there".
"Yea, I get that" he spins around in his chair. "Want to go back to yours?"
"No, I promised Lola i'd stay here tonight" I sigh. "But you don't have to stay".
"I'll stay".
--
Sapnap stayed for an hour after our conversation in the study. When we went back downstairs we heard from Lola that Harmony had been picked up by her brother. She didn't even tell Sapnap and I knew that bothered him, I could see it on his face. I can't help but wonder what's really going on between them, I have a weird feeling deep in my stomach that their problem is me.
But i'm delusional and i'll believe anything that points to Sapnap possibly having feelings for me. I watched as he left the party, he didn't even say goodbye to me he was just focused on making sure Harmony and him were still okay. Lola held my hand tightly before pulling me away from the front door. Now i'm sitting on the floor listening to some random guy sing while playing a guitar that someone brought with them. I lost Lola a while ago and i'm not really bothered by it, at this point i've accepted that this is her party and she just used me as an excuse to have it. I'm convinced no one sitting around me right now actually knows who I am, and i'm okay with that because I have no idea who they are either.
My phone suddenly buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out to see a message from Lola saying she needs help, but as I go to reply I notice I have an unseen message from my mum asking me to come home. Without thinking of anything or anyone else, I abruptly stood up from the floor and walked out of the house. Tears blur my vision as I imagine what possibly could've happened this time, I think about my mum sitting in the house on her own suffering because I didn't see the message when she sent it. I imagine my dad slamming the door as he left, or worse stomping around the house still yelling as he stayed. All I know is that i'm not there this time and anything could've happened.
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HEYYY
how is everyone?????????
has anyone watched heartstopper s2 yet!?!?!?!?! i need to talk about it !!!!
and sapnaps sims stream HAHAHA i rarely watch streams anymore cause i dont have time :( but i put that on while i was eating the other day....... george was bald.... karl had no shirt..... and obama was there??
anyway..
ILY ALL
STAY SAFE AND HAVE FUN ALWAYS
YOU ARE READING
Sweater Weather - Karlnap (au)
Fanfiction"Karl" he says softly, making me turn to face him. "Do you ever feel different?" he asks, without looking at me. "Different in what way?" he turns to me, looking me in the eyes.
