Karl Jacobs
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Marianne has a new office. It's bigger and has floor to ceiling windows, the walls are painted white and she has floral patterned curtains. I stare out the window, looking down on the town i've called home my whole life. I remember when this building was still under construction, standing here now almost doesn't feel real. I saw the cranes from my bedroom window, and now I can look out this window just to see my tiny house in the distance, so tiny I can't even see the window I used to stare out of.
"Karl!" Mariannes voice pulls me out of my trance as she walks into the room. "How do you like the office?"
"It's nice" I say honestly as I sit down across from her. "Very spacious".
"It is" she sighs. "It doesn't feel so cosy yet, but I have a few plans to make it feel a bit more homey" the room goes quiet as I wait for her to continue speaking. "So, how have you been?"
Just hearing those few words done something to me. Everything unleashed, I tell her about my dad, about Sapnap, about Lola. She never once interrupts, it kind of feels like i'm talking to myself but I know i'm not. I've learned to trust Marianne in a short amount of time, i've never experienced that with anyone else before. I know it's her job and I think that's why i'm so comfortable with her. She probably is judging me in her own mind, but she'd never actually speak her thoughts to me. She can't go off and tell someone else all the drama in my life, it's all confidential. The way I speak so freely with Marianne is how i've always wanted to speak with my mum, I would love to have a real connection with her that isn't just her being my mum. And I say that to Marianne, i've said it to her multiple times before. She's said it's something we could possibly work on, but that means mum would have to sit in with us for a few sessions. I know i'm not ready for something like that.
"Oh Karl" Marianne finishes writing down whatever she's writing in her book. "It seems like everything has just happened at once".
"It's overwhelming" I let out a laugh just so I don't cry.
"Of course it is!" Marianne says with an obvious tone. "You did just mention a lot, is there anything specifically you want or need to talk about more? Like a deep dive, you know how we usually talk".
"Maybe Lola? I just don't know what to do" I know she wanted me to say 'my dad'. Marianne has tried multiple times to get me into talking about him in detail, but that's just something i'm not ready for. That's something i've dealt with by myself for my entire life, I can't see myself asking for help with it anytime soon.
"Have you talked to her since Monday?"
"No, I left school on Monday and I haven't been back. I didn't message her because I don't want to upset her more" it's Thursday now. I never planned to miss so many days, I didn't even realise it had been three days until Mr. Mavric was in my bedroom waking me up at 4pm asking why i'm not at school.
"I think you should message her after our session today. Just ask her to meet up with you somewhere like the park or a cafe. You don't need to tell her the truth about what happened, you can just say it was an important family matter-"
"I think I want her to know the truth" I interrupt Marianne.
"Are you sure?" I nod. "Karl, I don't think you're being honest. Do you want her to know the truth or do you want her to feel bad about everything she said?"
"No, of course not. I want her to know the truth because it'll mean something. I enjoy my friendship with Lola, it's starting to really mean something to me and I don't want it to be ruined just because my dad decided to go a bit crazy at home" I frown.
Marianne doesn't say anything to disagree with me. She tells me to do whatever I feel like is right, and then we said our goodbyes. Most of that hour was just me ranting about everything happening recently, Marianne barely even spoke that whole time.
I walk out of the building and see Mr. Mavrics car parked across the street. I make my way over and he unlocks the doors I approach. As I settle in the car he asks me how the session went, I tell him it was good and that's it for the conversation. I'm instantly on my phone messaging Lola, hoping she'll agree to meeting up with me at the park.
She replies right away, agreeing to meet up with me. She also told me to be there in ten minutes, if i'm not there by then she'll leave.
"Could you maybe drop me off at the park?" I look at Mr. Mavric as he drives.
"Okay" he sighs. "Do you need me to pick you up later?"
"No, i'll be okay" I smile even though he's focused on the road.
I watch the clock as the minutes tick by. We arrive at the park when I have three minutes left, I get out of the car and find Lola sitting at our usual bench. I watch as Mr. Mavric drives away before I walk over to her. I sit down across from her, she's on her phone and doesn't look up at me until I clear my throat. She places her phone down, the screen on the table and the back facing up. So I know I have her full attention.
"So?" She raises her eyebrow and i'm suddenly feeling very intimidated.
"Your eye looks better" is all I can say. I don't know how to start what I have to say, I can't just say it. There needs to be some kind of build up.
"Thanks" her tone is blunt. "I didn't come here for nothing, we're still not friends. So, why did you want me here?"
Without giving her any warning, I tell her everything. I don't go into extreme detail, she doesn't know about Mr. Mavric helping me clean, and I leave out Sapnap visiting me the day after. All I tell her about is my mum messaging me while I was at the party, and my dad ruining all of my things. I watch her face falter, the intimidation I was once feeling is now gone as I see her slowly crack and realise why i'm telling her all of this. When I finish she stays quiet, I just smile softly and before I know it she was next to me, wrapping her arms around me.
"I'm so sorry, Karl" her words are muffled as she speaks into my shoulder. "I shouldn't of made any assumptions".
"No, don't be sorry. I didn't tell you this so you would be sorry, I wanted you to know about it" I say honestly.
"Thank you" she pulls away. "Thank you for trusting me".
We sit in silence for a bit, neither of us have or know anything to say. But the Lola starts talking, she begins telling me all about the past few days at school. I listen the same way I always do, I let her talk and talk. And it's okay, because now I know that we're okay. Lola and I are still friends, and that's something I never thought would comfort me.
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hello loveliessssss
one of you (you know who you areeee <3) gave me a deadline so i thought i'd be nice and go with it... im bad at maths tho so i hope i got it right lololol
anyway
i hope you all enjoyed this chapter !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the next one is VERY fun so i'll get that to you... soon?
maybe a while?
maybe soon?
WHO KNOWSSS
ily all <3333
YOU ARE READING
Sweater Weather - Karlnap (au)
Fanfiction"Karl" he says softly, making me turn to face him. "Do you ever feel different?" he asks, without looking at me. "Different in what way?" he turns to me, looking me in the eyes.
