On The Run

Chapter Twenty-Six -What I Wouldn't Give

      It's almost been two weeks since I've been here. With Zellian. And he's kept his promise. His heartbreaking promise. I haven't seen him since that night. His scent is everywhere, but he's nowhere. You'd think that I would pass by him in the halls or run into him in the kitchen, the living room. Anywhere. But he hasn't been.
    His scent is always strong. So I know he's here. I felt guilty. It was killing me to be away from him. I wanted nothing more than to feel his touch. To feel those warming sparks of his skin on mine. What I wouldn't give to see him..
    I've spent all of my time with Finley, as well as Kelon, Zellian's beta. They're amazing people. I've gotten to know them both extremely well. I also shared with them things about myself. Things regarding Kane and what he's done to me. That conversation came up mostly because they walked in on me while I was changing and seen all of the scars on my back. I made them swear to not tell Zellian and they promised.
    I enjoyed spending time with them. Kelon, despite his intimidating looks, was a big sweetheart. He had a naturally funny personality, childish you could say. It was cute. Finley had a similar personality to Kelon. Though they bumped heads a lot, ending in tackling each other. They loved, more than anything to tease and annoy the ever living hell out of each other. But they had such a close, sibling type relationship.
    It was safe to say that for the first time in a long time. I felt safe and I warmed up to them. A great deal. The idea at first scared me. But as I got to know them more. I knew I was safe with them. I was starting to feel like my old self again. Happier, safer. More at ease. They helped me feel better.
     I love them both so much for everything they have done for me. Taking care of me, staying with me while I cried my eyes out for hours at a time. Listening to me when I had something to say. They never hesitated to be there for me for anything. They never complained either. They seemed happy to help me.
    Kelon spun me around. The four of us danced to music in what Finley showed me about a week ago, was what she liked to call the fun room. The music was loud but it was soothing.
    Corin and Finley were getting competitive with us and our dancing. Kelon and I laughed together when Finley tripped on her own foot and knocked her and Corin down. They burst into a fit of laughter after us.
    Kelon held my hand and spun me in a circle just before the music stopped to start a new song. He grinned at me, "Where'd you learn to dance?" He chuckled.
    I smiled, "I've attended quite a few ceremonies, where I was required to dance."
    He held his hand out for me and I took it, "Show me some moves then."
    I laughed nervously while Corin and Finley both watched with excitement. "No way, I get stage fright."
   He laughed and lifted me up by my sides, shaking me playfully. "Come on! Loosen up."
    I laughed and grabbed his arms, kicking my legs in the air. "Put me down you caveman!"
    He feigned hurt and set me down, "Oh! Such a bully!"
    "You were the one shaking me like a rag doll!" I laughed and he laughed with me.
    "Yeah man, look how tiny she is, you'll break the poor girl." Corin grinned at me.
    "She's fragile! You imbecile!" Finley accused with a finger.
    Kelon wrapped an arm over my shoulder, "What do you say we-" he leaned in next to my ear and lowered his voice. Even I could barely hear him over the music. "You tackle Finley and I've got Corin."
    I matched his grin and we both sprinted at them, Finley squealed and ran away. While Kelon and Corin played ring and the rosey around he couch until Kelon hopped over the couch and tackled him while I dragged Finley over the couch to playfully tackle her into it. She laughed hard, I was so caught up in laughing that I couldn't even keep my hold on her. We both laid there laughing.
    Soon enough Corin and Kelon joined in on our laughing fit. None of us able to control it even as the guys lifted us up to sit on the couch with us.
    But soon that laughter died down, starting with Corin. Followed by Kelon. And once my gaze followed theirs. I seen why. Because my laughter stopped and my heart started aching.
    Zellian was standing by the door with his arms crossed. He looked undeniably pissed. Corin got up to turn the music off while Finley nudged me playfully. "A word, Paisley." Zellian said, walking out of the room.
    I looked at Finley and she gave me a reassuring smile. "You'll be fine. He's not going to hurt you."
    I breathed out a sigh and stood up, "go get your man." Kelon gave me a devilish grin that made me blush.
    If only Zellian was that. But who was I to wish that title onto him. After everything. I wasn't worthy of him.
    I nodded and walked out, where Zellian had been waiting just outside. So close I bumped right into his chest. He turned and started walking. Which I followed closely behind. As close as I could that was, which was maybe five feet behind. His long legs made it hard for me to keep up with him.
    He walked down to his office, walking in. I walked in as well and shut the door. Turning my gaze to find him leaning against the front of his desk. His arms crossed tightly over his chest. The shirt he was wearing looked like it was ready to rip. Jesus Christ his arms were massive. I stared at the tattoos on his arms until I dared to look into his eyes. He was staring at me, hard. Not a hint of emotion on his face.
    "I'm sorry if we disturbed you." I mumbled, lowering my gaze to the floor.
    "Look at me when you speak." He growled out.
    My eyes snapped to his. But I said nothing. We had a stare down for at least five minutes. Maybe even twenty. All I knew was that it felt like forever. All I could do was count the thousand heartbeats from my heart hammering in my chest.
    "Are you trying to sleep with my beta?" He questioned, his gaze had hardened.
    My eyes widened fast, "Excuse me?-"
    "It seems you don't mind sleeping around with men. So answer my question, are you trying to sleep with my beta?"
    I stared at him hard. "How dare you?" My voice has slightly hardened.
    It was nothing compared to the way he looked at me. He was pissed. "You were mated off to my cousin and you took opportunity-"
    "Don't you dare even fucking finish that goddamn sentence. I was forced to be with Kane. And you don't even understand the goddamn half of it. So don't you dare sit here and act like you know a damn thing, Zellian." I growled at him. I understand that I'm nothing to him, but he doesn't get to judge me.
    "What am I supposed to think considering my mate openly expressed spreading her legs for a man right in my face?" His voice was like ice.
   It froze everything inside of me. "You want to sit here and judge me? You don't even fucking know me. Before that day of the festival, where I was sold right into Kane's hands. I saved myself. My entire family. My pack was slaughtered by the alpha that I put my entire faith in. And you know what? I never knew until recently. That same man wiped every goddamn memory from my brain so that I couldn't remember what he did. What my child self watched him do to my family. The one and only goddamn thing I ever remembered after he wiped my complete memory was that my father always told me to save myself for my mate. And that's what I did. You think I wanted to be sold? To Kane of all fucking people? I saved myself, never dated, never kissed any one, never flirted. I was your typical religious girl who would say. Oh no sex before marriage, I want my mate. I had never even stayed in a room alone with a boy before that festival. But I landed with the shit end of the stick with Kane. And you have no goddamn idea what that's like." I yelled at him, right into his face. Tears were evident in my eyes but I refused to let them leave. "You have no idea how hard I cried. How many times I begged. After Kane got his hands on me. I wished that I was dead. You have no idea what he has done to me. What I endured. Rape. Abuse. Mentally and physically. He got off on torturing me. He liked it when I suffered. When I cried and begged for his mercy. I met my first mate, and he made it clear he didn't want me. Looked at me like I was disgusting. Like I was nothing. That same look you have in your goddamn eyes right now. So I rejected him. Not just because I was trying to be a decent human being and protect someone's life. When they took me away from him. For a second. Just for a goddamn second I wondered if maybe I was finally free of Kane. You think I had any hope of having a second chance mate? I had just rejected the mate I had waited for my whole life. I was out of Kane's hands, nobody was beating me, raping me, torturing me. For a second there it felt good. Before reality came crashing back down on me and I realized that I am nothing but Kane's puppet. His toy. And that moment of peace was over. I am not some whore who spreads her legs for anything and anybody. So no, I was not trying to sleep with Kelon. Nor am I interested in him like that."
    He stared at me with wide eyes. As if he didn't know what to say. A fling of guilt ran through his eyes before he quickly covered it up. He went to say something but I cut in first.
    "So don't you fucking sit here and act like you know me. Don't you dare belittle me when you don't even know the half of what I've been through. Reject me and get it over with. You won't be the first mate I've lost. I've gotten really fucking good at losing people." I spit at him. There was no holding back my tears now.
     Every inch of me was in pain. My heart felt like it was being crushed at the thought of him rejecting me. I wanted him, it was undeniable but this.. this would never work.
    "And look, I'm sorry you waited all this time for your mate just to be disappointed by me. To answer your question, no. He doesn't-"
    Before I could even finish speaking the door opened behind me. I felt everything in me stop moving once his scent filled my nose. My eyes were wide. Fear ran through me. Overriding every other feeling inside of me.
    I would know that scent anywhere. Before I knew what was happening. Zellian pulled me against his body. And just like deja vu, he pressed an extended claw to my throat. The familiar stabbing pains in my body.
     Kane's eyes were on me, hard. His eyes raked down my entire body. Assessing me for only god knows what. All I knew was that I was terrified. Hurt. "What will it be, Kane?" Zellian's voice boomed behind me.
    Kane stared at me for a moment. As if thinking something over. "I'll do it. Now hold up your end of the bargain." He growled at Zellian, but his eyes never left me.
    Zellian pushed me forward, right into the arms of Kane. He held me close to his chest. I stared at Zellian in horror. He only looked at me for a moment before looking back at Kane. "I have a job for you to do. So don't think about running off just yet." Zellian said boldly.
    "Go fuck yourself." Kane growled before he pulled me out of the room. I tripped over my feet as he was dragging me down the hall. Pushing me into the closest bedroom. I wanted to scream. To cry. To run.
    He locked the door behind him and stalked over to me fast. His eyes were angry. Filled with complete rage. I let out a gasp as he grabbed me by my arms and pulled me into him. "He touched you." Kane growled.
    "Nothing happened." I whispered with tears in my eyes. The room was dark. And I thanked god for that so he couldn't see me cry.
    I know he felt my tears once he forced my lips against his. I didn't realize what he was doing until he had me pinned against the bed. A wince escaped me as he flipped me over and held my hands behind my back while he pulled my pants down. I silently cried against the bed. Praying to the goddess to kill me.
    He grabbed my underwear roughly. Yanking them and managing to no doubt tear my skin in the process. I cried out in pain, squirming underneath him. "You're hurting me!" I cried.
    He said nothing, instead I heard him unbuckling his pants. The bed dipped down as he got closer to me from behind. My tears had no doubt soaked the bed under my face.
    Just as he positioned himself against me, there was a knock on the door. He growled angrily and got up from the bed pulling his pants up. Nearly pulling the door from its hinges at it opened I pulled my pants up quickly.
   I could see Zellian standing in the doorway as they exchanged words. Kane looked back at me, before turning back to Zellian.
    "Come on, Paisley!" Finley called cheerfully.
   I stood up and walked up behind Kane. My nails dug into my arms. I was too focused on the pain in my body to pay any attention to indentions I was creating in my arms.
    Kane followed Zellian away, she watched and waited until they were no longer in sight. Then she grabbed my hand and quickly led me out of the room. All the way up to the third floor. She unlocked the door to the bedroom I have been staying in since I got here. Shutting it quickly behind her. I stared at her confused. "What's going on?" I mumbled.
    "Zellian told me to get you out of there and take you up here. He said to wait here for him." She said softly. "Did Kane hurt you?"
   I wipe away a few stray tears, "Zellian knocked before Kane had the chance to."
   Finley wrapped me in her arms, "I'm going to murdered Zellian I swear." She whispered.
    We sat on the bed and talked for a good thirty minutes. I didn't go into detail about the conversation that Zellian and I had in his office before Kane showed up. She didn't try to push the topic when she seen the hurt in my eyes. I told her that Zellian handed me back over to Kane and that I'll be leaving soon. She said she was going to do everything she could to prevent it. She was trying her hardest to make me feel better and I tried giving her fake smile and laughs. But she wasn't buying any of it.
    I couldn't bring myself to even try to feel okay. Zellian handed me over like it was nothing for him. And I can't blame him.
    Soon enough the bedroom door clicked open and Zellian walked in. Nodding at Finley to leave. She gave me a soft hug before she left the room. Leaving me once again alone with him.
    I crossed my arms protectively over my chest as I stood from the bed. Staring right into his eyes. He seemed to be having a battle about something in his head. "Did he touch you?" He asked quietly.
    I barely heard him. His voice was so low. "What the hell do you care?" I spit at him. Tears filling my eyes once again.
    "You have no idea what I feel." He growled at me.
    "I told you all that shit and you handed me right back to him. Like it was nothing for you so don't sit here and act like you care." I said angrily.
    "There's a reason I knocked on that door so soon, I couldn't stand the thought of you being alone with him." He said seriously, his eyes were telling me the truth.
    He slowly approached me. But this time I held my ground and stayed right in place. "You gave me to him." I shook my head in denial. "So instead of pretending to give a damn about me. Just reject me."
    My eyes widened when his hand wrapped around my throat. Forcing my face dangerously close to him. He wasn't hurting me, more of warning me to be quiet. I tried to force myself to not think about the sparks that were eating away at the skin of my neck. Or the smell of him. My eyes were locked onto his as he spoke.
    "You have no idea how I feel about you." He growled out. "So maybe take your own advice and stop acting like you know me and I'll stop acting like I know you."
    I pushed him off of me. Growling at him. "Stop trying to tell me this shit. It's all bullshit and you know it. When Kane gets back you're not going to stop him. You got what you wanted and if you go back on that, Kane won't obey you like you want him to. Like he's doing now." I spit at him. I was angry.
    Angry at him for trying to get my hopes up. Trying to make me believe that he wants me. That he cares about me. If he did, he never would have threw me into Kane's arms.
He stared at me for I'm not even sure how long. I started to feel insecure about myself. It was like he was thinking about something but nothing at the same time. It was worrying me. I wasn't waiting for the rejection to come from his mouth. He was doing nothing but leading me on. Hoping that I believe that there was a chance for us. And curse me for actually hoping that there was.
But I know better than that. I have been through this before. He's Kane's cousin, of all people to be mated with. The family reunions would be crazy. Kane would never stop, he'd kill me and possibly Zellian too. I doubted that he could kill Zellian. There was a reason that Kane didn't try to advance on Zellian back at Kane's pack. Zellian is no doubt stronger than Kane. A great deal stronger. I could see the fear in Kane's eyes. It was a look I had never seen before. And with all the time I had gotten to know Kane and what his moods are and how he's feeling. I knew that it was fear.