Far Cry | JJK x OC

✔Chapter 42 // Void

Leah saw Jungkook blink, process her words, and then leave. The door closed behind him and her cold body tried to feel something in her chest but it disappeared quickly. She looked around, feeling nothing.

Good, he left. He realized she was right, surely. In the back of her mind, she could recall him holding the frame of her head and gently assuring her that no matter what happened, he'd always be there for her, and she sucked in an anxious breath. They were crazy. No, she had to take responsibility — she was crazy. For not listening to the signs, for ignoring her nightmares, for trying to live carefreely while she knew something could be wrong with her. And now she knew something was wrong with her, everyone knew. He did too. And that was why he left.

Which he should, she asked him to, and he agreed. He should stay away, safely away from getting dragged into whatever she was. She looked at her hands. They were the same as they had always been. But she wasn't.

She felt discomfort on her left side, the first thing she noticed in a while. She looked down and there were black spots on her white shirt which prompted her to get up slowly and make her way to the bathroom to see herself in the mirror. She raised the stained fabric to see her tatau — it looked beautiful and innocent where the water lily was to then become more aggressive where the jungle erupted from her in every direction.

She never liked the jungle; it scared her, it was untamable and chaotic. Part of her was repulsed by it, but another understood. She also had chaotic moments through logic. Like desiring Jungkook to touch her and see her, while knowing she should stay away. In any case, she thought she would have detested having the jungle, of all things, marked forever on her skin, but she didn't. She felt like it was weirdly on point, as if the lines were dragging her, or entangling her, ready to pull her in. It was that place, that jungle. It made one do things one wouldn't normally do.

She got back and leaned into the pillows on the bed, seeing the sunlight grow bigger on the floor as she thought about her life. There were still many things she didn't know about herself, more than she did. She remembered her mother passed, she knew her name was Leah Anderson, and she knew some other characteristics she had, but she remembered no core memory from before. She had no recollection that would assert her values or priorities, which could justify how she could have become such a monster. She was sure her mother didn't raise her to shoot people. She would have been so disappointed.

She steered from that thought, it would only break her. She had values. She recognized killing a person was wrong, which was why she was so adamant about being locked away, about not being a bad presence in everyone's lives. But she still had done it.

Because it was an accident. She tried justifying it to herself — she was startled, she never consciously meant to pull the trigger. But then her finger shouldn't have been on it in the first place. She shouldn't have had the gun in her hand, to begin with.

She was trying to fix it, to make it better, to make it stop. That man was going to kill Jungkook, she was certain of it. And he did shoot at him. Tears came to her eyes. How was Jungkook even alive, how did he dodge a bullet? It was unbelievable, but he did. There was no other explanation, she had seen the bullet hole on the window behind him.

That man, there was something about him. She was starting to doubt if she had dreamed about him or his voice before, but there was definitely something that intrigued her there. It was safe to say her dreams were based on memories thus far, so maybe they met before. The more she thought about it, the surer she became.

She was surprised when a quiet knock sounded on the door. Ella entered after a moment, peeking and smiling softly when she saw Leah awake. Ella thought Jungkook would be there, but decided not to ask about him.