The Maine Attraction

23. Complicated

Happy birthday to me.

Nothing about this night was going according to plan. The look in Sawyer's eyes and his actions towards me were two completely different things. The look in his eyes told me that he liked the way I looked, that he thought I looked good. He liked the black skirt that I had on and he liked the lacy top that gave him a view of what I knew he was enjoying looking at. However, his actions weren't at all matching that. 

He'd been much less vocal today. When he told me that I looked good, it was barely above a whisper before he walked past me and downstairs to meet my brother so we could head out. I was feeling much less confident in myself. On my birthday of all days. I was feeling like the two of us were backtracking to the Sawyer that didn't want to talk to me, the distant Sawyer that made me walk around on eggshells. 

It all started when we got back from Dani and Callum's house, the night that the two of us helped them move in. Ever since Callum made that comment about us being weird, he'd been incredibly distant from me. We were still sharing a room and he'd even still kiss me, but things felt uncomfortable and I felt incredibly uneasy about everything. 

Things felt weird.

I let it go at first. I was more than sure that he was just trying to figure things out in his own head. I know that after Callum made his comment, I got in my own head about it so I was more than positive Sawyer was doing the exact same thing. I had expected to talk about it with him, but he wouldn't bring it up and I was honestly afraid to. 

We were slowly going back to not knowing how to be around each other. The only difference now was that it hurt a lot more than it did before. When he did it after I graduated, it hurt but more than anything I was just confused. I chalked it up to him getting older and being busy. Now, after everything that had happened between us I was just hurt. 

I just hated how quickly everything took a turn. It happened because of one little comment and now there was so much distance between the two of us that it was actually a little scary. 

I thought that today would be different, it was my birthday after all. I thought that maybe he would get out of his head and just enjoy the day with me. We weren't supposed to be hanging out with anyone until the evening, so I thought that the morning would be better at least.
I was wrong in every sense of the word. 

He was acting the same, if not worse today. He wasn't just distant today, he was cold. He didn't even actually tell me happy birthday. He'd spent the entire day busying himself and basically ignoring me so I really shouldn't have been so surprised when he'd brushed past me with a whisper of a compliment before we left the house. 

I put a lot of effort into the way I looked tonight and I shouldn't have. I thought that maybe it would grab his attention, but half way through doing my makeup I was mad at myself for even thinking like that. I shouldn't have spent my birthday getting ready so that I had a chance of him telling me I looked good. I should have done it so that I could feel good on my special day. I should have done it for myself, but instead I was spending the entire day getting ready in hopes that it would give him something to talk to me about for more than five seconds. 

There was not a single ounce of me that wanted to be out with everyone at a club. I wanted to be curled up in bed by myself. Dani had tried to talk to me about everything before we left Sawyer's house, but I brushed it off. I didn't want to go into details about anything, especially not as we were trying to leave his house. 

We were standing by the car, waiting on the shots that Callum had ordered for everyone. The vibes were definitely off tonight and I was more than positive everyone noticed. Sawyer was leaning against the bar with his back to me, my brother leaning back next to him. Dani nudged my arm, grabbing my attention.