The Maine Attraction

18. Knot

3.5 years ago

My phone vibrated on my lap for a third time. I looked down at it, noticing it was Callum again. I'd texted him that I was in class, but by the third call my stomach had dropped and I knew something was wrong. I was in the back of the class, so it was easy to sneak out after gathering up my things.

By the time I was out of the classroom, the phone was ringing for a fourth time and then I really knew something was going on.

"Hello?" I said when I finally answered. Callum's breathing was erratic and immediately I sensed he was upset. "What's going on?" I asked.

"It's dad." Was all he said.

My heart dropped. "What's wrong with dad?"

Callum started to cry. He rarely cried. I rushed out of the building so I could make my way to my car.

"He had a heart attack, Ave."

I stopped walking, the world around me suddenly moving in slow motion. "Is he okay?"

What a stupid question.

"You need to come home.."

My eyes shot open, my chest rising and falling at a rapid pace. I must have finally fallen asleep. My room was bright, letting me know that the sun had fully come up. I had no idea what time it was. I'd heard Callum and Dani leave the house around 7 this morning. I was still awake when they left; afraid to close my eyes.

Every time I closed my eyes, I replayed the phone call between Callum and I when he told me about our dad. I could still clearly hear his voice as he spoke to me over the phone, I could perfectly hear the sound of him crying. I could still see the area that I was standing in when he told me dad had a heart attack and I could feel the way my knees buckled when he told me that I needed to come home. If I didn't wake up in time, I pictured myself sitting in the driver's seat of my car wailing and almost screaming in anger.

I couldn't get it out of my head no matter how hard I tried.

My body was exhausted from lack of sleep, I had bags under my eyes that looked like they'd been there for months. My hair was a mess, the funeral was 3 days ago and the only thing I'd done to it since was put it into a bun. I hadn't even brushed it.

I forced myself out of bed. Callum and Dani were gone, which meant I was finally alone and no one would ask me how I was doing. I was so sick of hearing the I'm so sorry's and the how are you holding up's. 

I glanced at myself in the mirror, appalled by the reflection that stared back at me. I needed to take a shower today, but right now I didn't care. I had on the same gray hoodie that I'd had on for the past three days paired with some black sweatpants. I grabbed my glasses off the bed and slid them onto my face, my exhausted eyes not functioning properly to see without them.

I walked downstairs and into the kitchen, opening the fridge so I could see what kind of food we had. We had a bunch of leftover meals that people had brought over to us, the second my eyes laid on them I felt sick to my stomach and closed the fridge. I didn't want to eat anyone's sympathy meals.

"You're awake," A voice behind me caused me to practically jump out of my own skin.

When I turned around, I saw Sawyer standing there, a concerned look on his face. I had no idea he was even here. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice slightly colder than I meant for it to be.

"Callum wanted to get out of the house, but he didn't want to leave you here alone. Asked me if I minded hanging out until he got back." He said honestly.