Love & death-bill kaulitz

Trauma is revived

"Bill is back in five minutes." Tom said and closed the door after him. The sick feeling got worse. To the point where I thought I would actually throw up. I grabbed a hold of the side of the bed so I could support my body weight. I suddenly seemed so heavy.
I took in deep raspy breaths and tried to make the feeling go away. But I couldn't. My whole body was shaking and it didn't take long before I needed to lay down. Then I got a brilliant idea.
I laid down on the hospital bed and got cozy. I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep until I heard the door open.

"Scarlett?" I heard Bill say. I slightly flinched but forced myself to stop. I needed to seem asleep. He didn't say more but I could feel him lift the hand he stabbed the knife through. I didn't react. My hand was almost numb, but I felt his warm lips give my wounded hand a gentle kiss before laying it back by my side.
It was hard not to smile now. I had been so used to his anger and roughness. It was such a relief to feel that he was actually capable to be gentle. Juts not very often.
I heard him walk out of the room, his heels clicking for every step and closed the door after him. I opened my eyes and let myself smile.

"Fuck me!" I said to myself as I realized that I just couldn't stop loving him no matter how much he hurt me. Something about Bill reminded of my brother. He didn't when I met him first. But in these last couple of days, I have been reminded of my brother. A lot of things about my brother is unclear, but he hurt me. And when I was seven years old, my mom took me away from him and my dad.
I had forgotten most of the things my brother did, but I suddenly remembered again.

Scarlett (6 years old)

"Good night mom, I love you!" I shouted to my mom down the stairs. I had the best day ever and I was tired and happy. I thought I would sleep well that night.
I ran into my room and forgot to clsoe the door. I put on some soft shorts that I always slept in and a tank top that was lose on my body. I was never really much of a fan of pajamas, I just needed soft and comfortable, light clothes that I could sleep in.
I heard footsteps behind me and the door closing. At first I thought it was my mom, but the footsteps where heavier. Then I heard the lock on my door click. That made me curious enough to turn around.
My brother Finn walked closer to me. He was wearing pajamas and his hair was a little messy.

"Hi, aren't you going to bed?" I said, still with a smile from my good day.

"I am, I just wanted to say good night." Finn said and followed me to my bed. He tucked me in and patted me on the head which made me giggle. He smiled at me so gently that it made my heart warm. He wasn't much of the social type but he had always been very nice to me. He always hugged me and protected me and helped me make food or find something if I lost it. I never knew why, I just assumed it was because I'm his only little sister.

"I heard you and mom talk about a new friend at school. What was his name?" He asked, still with such a gentle face expression that could make me want to tell him my deepest darkest secrets. If I had any.

"Alex, he's really nice." I said with a big smile.

"You sure he's not more than a good friend?" Finn asked, his smile fading into some kind of masked jealousy.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused. In my head there was only friends, enemies and very good friends.

"You don't kiss or hold hands? Or more?" He asked, a spark of anger in his eyes. My smile faded into confusion.

"No, ew." I said and tucked myself even further into bed, trying to hide and fall asleep.

"Good." Finn said, his smile reapearing. He placed his hand over my blanket, right on top of my belly. Then he leaned in and gave me a kiss on the forehead. His lips were soft and I didn't mind it much. I smiled at him before closing my eyed and trying to fall asleep.
Finn stayed by my side until I was almost asleep, but I was slightly awaken by the feeling of his weight beside me on the bed. I tried to ignore it and just fall asleep.
But his cold hand slid under the blanket and wrapped his arm around my waist. It actually felt very comforting to have him with me while I slept. It felt like no monsters from under the bed could hurt me anymore.
But then his hand went further down, reaching into my shorts.
I grunted and moved a little trying to make him move his hand. I heard a very quiet moan escape his lips which I didn't understand.
His hand went further into my underwear and two fingers slid around my entrence.

"Finn..." I said with a grumpy, sleepy voice. I didn't know if he heard me or not.
And then he slid two fingers inside me, waking me up completely.

"Finn, what are you doing?" I asked him. I didn't know what I ws feeling as he moved his fingers in and out. I didn't know if he was supposed to do that to me or not. Was it a normal brother thing to do? Either way, I couldn't deny that I liked the feeling.

"You like that?" He whispered in my ear. I didn't say anything back. I didn't lnow if I was supposed to like it.
But that feeling that I felt, made me warm all over. It made my heart pump faster and my breathing get louder and quicker. I turned to my side so I laid on my back instead of my side so I could see Finn. He didn't stop with his fingers, and it was starting to feel very good. A new kind of feeling that I never knew before.
Finn was smirking at me. I looked away and accidently let out a soft moan. I didn't know where it came from or why I did it, but I couldn't stop it.

"I knew you liked it." He whispered into my ear, his warm breath hitting my skin.

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