Love & death-bill kaulitz

The edge of the universe

In Taylors arms, I felt like I was floating. Her and Mary and Laura were the only people who could actually understand me and my feelings. Everything that's been happening to me was never anything I would have expected but with Taylor by my side, I actually felt okay for the first time in what felt like way too long.
Sleeping in her arms felt like nothing before. More calming than when Bill finally decides to be nice for once or when you take a shower after a long and hard day. I actually felt like nothing mattered at all. Only Taylor mattered to me. I wanted to protect her with all I had. And she wanted to protect me.

Taylor accidently woke me up at around midnight. She didn't mean to but I might have already been slightly awake. And seeing her face as the first thing in the morning was everything I could ever want. Other than Bill. But I didn't want this harsh and evil Bill that I knew. I wanted the nice Bill that showed up for a short while and then disapeared and turned imto a more evil and more fucked up Bill than before.
I looked at Taylor with slightly blurry eyes and still felt like I was floating at the edge of the universe. Where nothing ever mattered. I could stare into her eyes forever if Bill had allowed me to. But he burst into the room and took me off of Taylor.

"What?" I asked. Bill looked weirdly stressed and I had just woken up and barely even knew where I was.

"It's Lauren, we need to go right now. Georg is already there, we were supposed to be there before him so he couldn't hurt her but I guess I'll take you with us so you can witness it too." Bill said with a slight evil smirk on his face as he dragged me out the door by my good hand. I looked behind me to see Tom walk into the room where Taylor still was and drag her out too.
Bill made me stand and wait by the car in the dark of night where everything was so cold. I just stood there, freezinc while looking at Bill who rumbled in the trunk of his car.

"Here, put this on." He said and threw some clothes that didn't look like mine or his. Then I cought the smell of the clothes. It was Britneys clothes.

"I'm not putting that on." I said and threw it on the ground. Bill slapped me across the face, making me fall to the dirty ground.
What the fuck was wrong with him? I just woke up and was both confused and in pain, and he just slaps me in my already broken face.

"What the fuck!" I shouted and tried to get up. Everything was swirling but I felt strong arms help me up. It wasn't Bill since he stood in front of me with the clothes in his hands. It was Tom who had already put Taylor in his car and came to help Bill with me.
I ripped myself out of his warm grip but felt a strong attatchment to him. I wanted to feel the warmth again. He was gentle like Bill wasn't. His hands warm and strong and he felt strangely... soft.
Bill pushed the clothes into my arms making me stumble a few steps backwards.

"I'll go get Gustav and Mary, you make sure she puts that fucking clothes on okay?" Bill said to Tom. Tom nodded and grabbed the back of my hospital gown. He undid the few ties on the back that held it together and I didn't complain. In the cold night his hands felt like a relief.

"Want me to help you?" Tom asked. He didn't shout or sound mean and I couldn't help staring into his eyes. I was almost amazed at his gentleness. How could he have made that big scar in Taylor's arm? Now that I think about it, I haven't seen Taylor with any new major wounds. Maybe Tom had dramaticly changed.
I nodded at Tom and he took the clothes from my hands. He gently took off my hospital gown and gave me the shirt from the pile of clothes. I tried to pull it over my head but I winced when it pulled on the scab of my hand.

"I'll do it." Tom said and pulled the shirt over my head. The t-shirt was made to be oversized but even bigger for me since Britney was about one size more than me.
And then he sat down ln his knees in front of me and took the panties from the pile.

"Lift your leg." He said and held onto one of my legs. I did as he said and lifted my leg. Then the other leg and he pulled up the panties. I couldn't help looking into his eyes and thinking of how much he looked like Bill but how different he was. Unlike with Bill, I wanted him to touch me.
He stood up now and looked into my eyes. I think he looked worried.

"When Bill... raped you. You looked different than the other girls. Why?" He asked and kept looking into my eyes. His gaze was so gentle that I couldn't take my eyes off his. Even when mine started to tear up again.

"My brother." I said, my voice grainy both from sleep and tears. But I couldn't look away from his eyes no matter how much I wanted to.

"What did he do?" Tom asked, actually looking like he cared. I was so used to Bill being rough and slapping me around and raping me, that his gentleness and care dug so deep and made me feel... loved.

"He raped me. When I was little. He did it for years almost every day until my mom got her shit together... and took me away from him. He only raped me when I was able to walk. I didn't go to school much because of it. One day he would rape me and completely destroy me... and the other day I wouldn't be able to walk stabilly. So, no school for little me." I said, the tears falling freely as I talked. And so did Tom's. I looked at his eyes with confusion.

"Why are you crying?" I asked him and wiped away a tears falling down his cheek. His face was so soft and his lips too.

"I'm sorry he did that, and I'm sorry Bill brought it back. You deserve better." He said, his voice now grainy too.

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