Love & death-bill kaulitz

Realization

Me and Taylor walked up tha stairs and through all the hallways to go back to the break room.

"I'm surprised you still show emotion." Taylor said. I looked at her with wrinkled eyebrows. What the hell did she mean by that?

"What?" I asked. Something inside me was overreacting and thinking that she was trying to annoy me or make me angry. Maybe it had something to do with pregnancy hormones. I cried because of Mary while Taylor was just looking and now I'm getting angry for no reason.

"I would say you've been through more than me and I would have just stopped showing emptions if I were you. I would be dead inside. Or kill myself." She said, not looking at me but looking in front of her to the hallway with an empty stare. No emotions at all. Not anger or happiness or confusion. Nothing.
But something about what she said woke something up in me and I realized that she was right. Why did I still show emotions? And how? I could choose not to. It would be so much better since I didn't have to fake it all the time. But being pregnant would just make me accidently break it and enhance my emotions instead. But what she said made me realize all the shit I had been through. Did anybody else in the world go through this too?

We reached the break room and went inside. Everything looked like usual except Mary wasn't there of course.

"Gustav, could I maybe meet Svetlana?" I asked, trying to seem happy about the fact Mary had been replaced. Putting on a mask to prevent him from getting angry. Or drunk.

"I can call her and maybe we can meet some place." Gustav said. I remembered back to when Bill was first starting to like me. He didn't call me and ask when I had time. Why the fuck did Gustav then?
He went to the closest phone and dialed a number. It rung for a little and then she picked up.

"Hey, Scarlett wants to meet you so go to the bar we met at... lets say in one hour. And you better be on your best behavior or she'll just kill you. Shes been through a lot and I wouldn't be surprised if she strangled Josephine soon. Be carefull. Bye." Gustav said into the phone. I looked at him with an angry look as he turned around.

"What? It's the truth." He said with an annoying smile.
Tom burst through the door behind me and I couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. He handed me a pile of clothes while trying to breathe again.

"I also got this." He said and pulled something out of his pocket. It was my favorite candy and my favorite chocolate milk. I gasped with excitement and grapped it from his hands.

"How did you know I like these?" I asked, trying to look at him with a suspicious look but couldn't stop smiling.

"I overheard you some day I guess." He said and looked very proud of himself.

"Thank you Tom." I said and threw the clothes on the floor so I could hug him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down to my height. But I still needed to stand on my tippy toes. I would have loved to be able to kiss his neck right there and show him how much I apreciated him, but I couldn't.
I pulled away from the hug and picked up the clothes. Right before I went out the door to go change in the bathroom, my eyes caught Taylor's and I saw something I deffinately didn't want to see. I could see that she was figuring out that I has something with Tom. he knew there was something there, but didn't know how far we went. I would have to tell her soon right?
I went to the bathroom and took off my gown first. I quickly got cold and fumbled with the clothes with my weak hands and fingers. I picked up the shirt. It was tight and strangely soft and black. I slipped it over my head and sigjed at the relief of warmth it gave me. Then I took the pants. It was easy to see that Tom chose these clothes. The pants were slightly baggy on me but they were comfortable. So I went back into the break room where Tom and Taylor suddenly was arguing but stopped shen they saw me. I looked at Taylor confused about why they were arguing, but I could figure it out.

"Lets go see Svetlana." Bill said, breaking the awkward silence as he stood up. He gave me a half faced smile and took my arm to walk me out of the hospital. The others were close behind us.
When the cold air hit my face, I couldn't stop smiling. It made me feel alive. I had been cooped up inside that hospital, feeling like I was already dead, but the cold air made me feel things again. And I realized how much I missed the feeling of Bill. I paid more attention to his grip around my good arm, and looked at his face. He was turned sideways so he didn't ser that I was looking. Which gave me lots of time to stare.
There was something about him that made me so deeply in love. Made me weak in the knees and turn my brains into mush.
I looked at his dreads that moved up and down and side to side as he walked. And his cold stare into the air in front of him as we walked to his car. Such beautiful eyes and such a perfect face.
Something made me want to grap his neck as hard as I could and squeeze the life out of him so I can be free of the pain, but I also just wanted go be his. Only his. Let him do whatever he desired. And then Bill saw that I was looking and turned towards me. I looked away quickly and realized we almost reached his car. I looked behind me to see the others going different directions for their cars. Bill opened the door for me and I got inside, no questions or complaints like usual. He got in the front and we drove to the bar to meet Svetlana.

...