Love & death-bill kaulitz

Your loss

The doctor came into the room and sat down besides me as I laid on the bed. I was pale and skinny and still in pain. I was weak and all I could feel was Bill squeezing my hand tightly.

"I have some bad news." The doctor said and looked away from my eyes. I kept looking at his though.

"You lost one of the babies and the other one is still weak." He said and looked at me with sadness.

"What?" Bill said which made me look at him. Bill didn't look at me. He stared at the doctor. Not with anger. With sadness. He was actually sad.

"I'm sorry for your loss." The doctor said and got up to walk out of the door as fast as possible. Bill sat down on his chair but still kept holding my hand.

"I'm sorry." I said to him, and probably the baby too. The doctor didn't say if I lost Bill's or Tom's baby, but did it really matter?

"Do you feel okay?" He asked then, without caring about what I just said.

"I think so." I said, but I really wasn't. I felt weak and dumb and I felt like I betrayed my baby.

"Then lets just go to the race." He said and shut off his emotions again when he got up. He helped me stand and walk out of the hospital. The others were sitting in the waiting room except for Taylor who came running from behind us shortly after. She pulled me a little away from Bill and held my shoulder.

"Mary is free. She is out and gone and she will be happy now." She whispered into my ear. That made my smile come back. Taylor smiled back at me. I felt so much relief knowing that Mary would be okay. I wouldn't need to worry about her anymore. Now it's just me and Taylor that need to figure out our own shit.

"Come on." Bill said to me and reached out his hand. I took it with no second thought which allowed him to drag me out of the hospital and to his car.

As I sat in the back of Bill's car in silence, I had too much time to think. I had just gotten used to the thought of having to be a mom for twins, and now one of them is just gone. If I lost Tom's baby, would we even need to tell Taylor that we did anything? Because the only evidence is that baby, but if it's gone, what does Taylor have to prove we did something?
Something I really hated about Bill is that I never know what mood he is in. He could be in the mood to kill somebody but he could also hug me and comfort me. There is no telling a difference.

"Bill? What made you like this?" I asked. He looked at me surprised at my question and then looked back out the window. I knew it was a risky question but I needed to know.
He took a deep breath and then opened his mouth to talk.

"My parents are dead. When me and Tom were six we had to live with our uncle. He didn't like us. At all actually." Bill said and then seemed to have stopped when he just started.

"What did he do to you?" I asked. I knew that his uncle had to have done something to Bill that he didn't do to Tom. Or maybe Tom was just better at hiding the pain.
It took a long time before Bill started talking again and I just waited patiently. I knew I would make nothing better if I rushed it.

"I looked like a girl. Tom did too. That was one of the things he didn't like. He tried to make us tougher by... well... beating us. Things like that." Bill said. I could hear sadness in his voice. I could see it on his face. It still hurt him.

"Sounds like we both had a pretty bad childhood." I said with a slight smile, trying to joke about our pain to make it better. And I actually made him smile a little.
After a long silence, Bill started to talk again.

"What do you know about cars?" He asked calmly like we didn't just talk about our childhood pain.

"The basics I guess." I answered. I always liked cars actually. Fast and cool cars. But I never had anyone to really teach me about what was what.

"Do you like fast cars?" He asked and gave me a slight smile. I smiled back and nodded.

"Then you're gonna like this place." Bill said and took a hard turn and quickly went down a road to someplace underground. I looked curiously out the window to see where we were going. And suddenly there were lots of sharp lights and a lot of cars. Cars in lines everywhere and people checking them out. So mamy girls only half dressed and deffinately freezing.
Bill revved his car and everybody around us looked and waved at Bill. When some of the girls saw me in the back, their smiles faded. It didn't surprise me that he probably had something with most of those girls. Can I blame him?
Bill found a spot for his car and parked. He got out and so did I. I felt very underdressed compared to all the girls. They all looked stunning like models or something and I looked dead. Literally.

"Bill Kaulitz! What a surprise to see you here!" I heard someone shout. I couldn't see who it was until I saw Bill hug a japanese girl that I had never seem before.

"Nice to see you again Yumiko." Bill said. That made it easy to figure out that she was the one who made the race.
Bill turned towards me.

"Scarlett, this is Yumiko. This is her race. And Yumiko, this is Scarlett. My... girlfriend." Bill said after a little hesitation. I looked at him surpised. Did he just call me his girlfriend?

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