Love & death-bill kaulitz

Does anybody have any drugs?

I walked slowly through the hallway and into the break room. Bill, Georg and Gustav were playing what looked like poker while Mary and Taylor stared judgingly at Josephine who really made herself look like a slut. She was leaned forward with her elbows resting on her knees, pushing up her boobs to look even bigger. And not a single one of the guys looked down her shirt. They didn't care at all.
But Bill did look at me. Not with excitement or hate or love or anything else. He just looked at me, just to see that I was there.

"Does anybody have any drugs?" I asked, my voice hoarse. I had no idea what to say and suddenly I had forgotten why I even went to see them. I would rather jump off a roof than be close to them for five minutes.
They all looked at me, even Josephine.

"Scarlett, really?" Taylor asked with a kind of sad look on her face.

"Please?" I asked again and walked to the small fridge to have something to do. I wasn't hungry and I didn't want to eat anything, but I needed something to do instead of just sitting there in silence.
There was some left-over chicken legs that I took out and sat down besides Gustav with them on my lap. They were cold and I didn't care. I nibbled on them while Georg found a plastoc bag with a pill in it. I didn't know what it was but I assumed drugs.
He broke the pill into powder and laid some of it out on the table.

"What does it do?" I asked just to make sure I would still be somewhat alive after taking it.

"It's mild. Like weed but doubled." Bill answered while Georg rolled up a dollar and handed it to me. I put the chicken away and sat down on my knees on the floor. Taylor and Mary looked at me with sadness while Josephine looked like she was having the time of her life.
I put one end of the dollar slightly in my nose and the other on the white line and snorted it up. It stung like hell but I had eventually figured out that life just is pain and there's nothing I can do. I sat back down on the couch and continued nibbling on the chicken while getting used to the pill.
Bill seemed to be right. It did feel like weed at first. Then stronger and stronger but somehow still felt like weed.

After a long time of nibbling, I was done with the chicken and didn't know what to do with myself.

"Scarlett, come with me." Bill said and looked at me with no emption as he got up from the couch. I sat for a few seconds, wondering why he wanted me with him, and then realized that I needed to do what he said. I followed him out of the door and into the hallway where he turned and grabbed my shoulders.
He dragged me into a bathroom close by and pushed me against a wall.

"What is wrong with you? Suddenly smoking and doing drugs. Why?" He asked. It made me laugh. I rested my head against the wall as I laughed hysterically. Maybe because of the drugs or maybe I would habe laughed either way.

"You Bill, It's you." I said like it was obvious and kept laughing my heart out.

"What would you do if I killed Josephine for you?" He then asked out of nowhere. I stopped laughing a little at a time and tried to answer.

"Nothing probably. Do what I already do. Drugs and cigarettes." I said and started laughing again loudly like I just told a joke.

"Why are you laughing?" Bill asked and took his hands off me. He took a step back and looked at me confused and slightly scared.

"Because youre funny Bill!" I said and kept laughing loudly.

"Stop fucking laughing Scarlett!" Bill shouted, but I couldn't stop. Everything seemed like one big old joke to me. Hilarious actually. The man I fell in love with raped me and beats me around daily. I have watched multiple people get killed and I just fucked his twin brother. How could I not be laughing?

"Shut me up then." I said while still laughing. But I didn't expect him to do anything. But he did. He grapped my face and pulled me away from the wall and so close to his body that I could feel the cold leather through my shirt. And then he pressed his lips against mine. Hard and rough so I couldn't laugh. And I didn't feel like laughing either.
Either it was trauma that made everything seem less funny or love. Or maybe both. I was scared deeply into my core when I remembered the feeling of him inside me and the noises he made. But I also missed the feeling of his lips against mine so badly.
Tom was good yes, but Bill was Bill and would always be the first one I fell in love with. No matter how much I could try and convince myself that Tom was better and I should let go of Bill, I always wanted Bill more.
You want what you can't have I guess.

"Finally." Bill said when he stopped kissing me. He still held my face in his hands.

"Did you write that note to me?" I asked, my vision slightly fuzzy. I looked deeply into his eyes to get the full vision of them but the drugs made it hard to.

"What note?" He said confused. I knew it. I knew he couldn't have written that.

"Then who did?" I asked myself and Bill. Bill let go of my face to open the door again. I walked out and quickly went into my hospital room and took the note off the bed stand to show to Bill. He read the note with a confused look.

"Who gave you this?" He asked and crumbled the paper in his hands.

"Josephine." I answered.

...