Love & death-bill kaulitz

Russian whore

We reached the bar and I saw out of the car window that Gustav walked up to a tall orange haired girl with freckles. She looked really beautiful to me. Unlike someone I'd ever seen in my life. She leaned in and kissed him with a smile. I could see Gustav smiled to. That was not very much like him.
I opened the car door and stepped out. Bill came around the front of the car to meet me by the side and we walked closer to Gustav and the girl. Gustav turned around to introduce us.

"Svetlana, this is Scarlett. Scarlett, this is Svetlana." He said with a smile. Something I hadn't really seen on him but I liked how it made him look. He looked nicer. More aproachable. Like I could tell him everything.

"Nice to meet you." Svetlana said with a slightly russian accent. It wasn't so strong that I couldn't understand her but it was clear she was russian.
Something about her eyes made her look like a deer. Bambi maybe even. Big brown eyes and freckles over her cute nose.

"I'm actually a whore even though I don't look like it." She said with a smile that made me smile too. She was very friendly compared to Josephin which caught me off guard and made me trust her.

"I think you look beautiful." I said, sending her the same smile she gave me. She looked at the ground shyly as the others reached us. We all went inside the bar that I hadn't seen before. There were lots of people of course and a very busy bartender who stopped in his tracks when he saw us. I don't know if he was scared because he saw Bill and Tom or if he looked at me and thought I looked dead, but he was shocked.

"You only get one drink." Bill said close my to ear. I looked up at him but he didn't see.

"Why?" I asked, slightly annoyed. I really just wanted to get drunk and why should he stop me?
Without looking at me he answered.
"Because youre pregnant Scarlett and we need to make the babies healthy. Maybe you should eat what Tom gave you." Bill said and looked into the air in front of him. I accepted what he said and took a few steps away from him.
Taylor handed me a drink that I downed quickly and accepted that it was my first and last drink for that night.
The others had gathered some chairs around one small table so we could all sit. I just watched Gustav have fun with Svetlana. It was nice seeing someone being happy instead of that depressing hospital.

"What happened to your hand?" Svetlana asked. I looked down at my right hand with the bandages on. I didn't know what to answer. If I should tell the truth or make up some fast lie that didn't sound real at all. I fumbled over my words until Bill took over.

"She accidently put her hand on the stove and it burned her, but she'll be fine soon." Bill said and put his hand on my knee. It felt like he tried to seem like a nice boyfriend around Svetlana for some reason. Maybe he didn't want to scare her off before she was caught in the trap.
I didn't say anything to Svetlana and she seemed to accept the lie Bill told. She continued talking with Gustav and a little with Taylor too, while I sat and tried to keep myself from crying. It felt so overwhelming being at a bar again. When I met Bill we went to a bar while I was doing fine. I wasn't pregnant and I wasn't hurt. But now I look like a ghost with a round scar on my arm, a hole in my hand and my left arm sliced from elbow to wrist. And two babies in my belly. Just the thought of having to go through the whole pregnancy and ending it with giving birth, made me feel sick.
I took deep breaths until I felt kinda okay again.

"We have always been friends, we're like brothers." Tom said excitedly to Svetlana. I noticed how I didn't actually listen to what they were talking about before. I was too busy trying not to throw up.

"Wanna see a picture of us when we were young?" Tom asked and reached into his back pocket and pulled out an old picture and handed it to Svetlana.

"Awww, you were so cute Gustav." She said and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Can I see?" I said quietly. Svetlana looked up from the picture with a smile and handed it over to my shaking, weak hand.
On the picture were Bill and Tom in the middle, looking almost exactly like each other except for clothes and hair. They were probably around the age of 13 or 14. I did have to agree with Svetlana. They all looked very cute. Mostly because I was used to how they look now. But they almost looked exactly the same except they got taller. And Bill looked happy.
He didn't have that empty look in his eyes and all that anger all the time. What had happened to him since then?
I handed the picture back to Tom and he put it back in his pocket.

"I used to be so happy back then." Bill said quieyly without looking at me. He had that empty stare again. Didn't really look anywhere, his eyes were just open. Like he was dead but still walking and talking.

"You looked cute. Innocent." I said which made him look at me.

"I wish I could still be like that." He said and I could see some sadness in his eyes. I could see how much guilt and anger and sadness that had built up inside him and all I wanted to do was help him let loose. Get all of the things taht bothered him out of his system. The problem was that I didn't actually know what made him the way he is.
How can I help someone who can't tell me what happened to them?

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