𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬

4-past

I arrived home and immediately searched around for my parents' car. When I didn't see It standing in front of the house, I quietly made my way inside the house. I listened for any sound I could detect, and When I heard nothing I slowly made my way to my room. My room is the smallest in the house. My parents aren't poor, far from it actually, but they spend most of their money on drugs or alcohol.

We have a big house it is just poorly maintained; there is trash laying on the floor everwhere, beer bottles are scattered across the house and the blood never got cleaned up. I tried to clean my room when I didn't have a match or when I wasn't sore from my beatings, but most of the times it didn't happen.

I got into my room and locked the door, making sure no one could possibly come in. I hid the money in my closet between the small pile of clothes, which I managed to buy with my earned money. I hoped my father wasn't going to look there but I couldn't think of any other place to hide the money. My father and mother would eventually force me to give it to them, to buy liquor, beer or drugs with it. They never bought anything for me; I had to buy my own clothes and even most of the times they took the money I was supposed to buy my clothes with. It's always been like that. I don't even know why they are mad at me most of the time. They are always just annoyed by my presence I think.

I vaguely remember a woman's face. She looked a lot like me. She had the same grey eyes and birth mark on her cheek. She could be the older me. I don't know who the woman is. She just appears in my dreams once in a while and she makes me feel safe. Like I'm not in an abusive household and I'm not barely surviving each day. I imagine the woman as my mom. I know she isn't my real mom but she is everything I could imagine for a mom, unlike my real mother, she cares for me and loves me. Those are some characteristics I'll never see in my real mother. She isn't as bad as Miguel though. She does hurt me but not as extremely as he does. I would like her if it wasn't for the fact she brings her friends to visit me. I despise them; they don't treat me right and they do much more horrible things to me than Miguel. And I don't mean physically. When my mother's friends came, that's when I realised she wasn't a good mother; a good mother wouldn't allow all those men to do those thing to me, a good mother would do something when they touched me, assaulted me, used me.

I've been thinking about running away for a long time. Ever since Luca came in my life I've been thinking about running away with him. With him, I had a reason to live, to continue fighting. With him my life had a purpose. With him everything was different. He made me feel something I hadn't felt in my whole life; loved. He truly loved me and cared for me. He cared about my feelings, he didn't like me for my body but for who I am. Was. After his death my life became more useless and useless by the minute. The only reason I stayed was because I promised him, no matter what, I would never give up.

I'm not someone who easily breaks promises, but I'm afraid I will have to break this one soon. I have nothing to live for anymore. Ted is my only friend right now, he's always been kind to me no matter what. I remember in the beginning I was afraid of him. No wonder he could look pretty scary with all his tattoo's and piercings but truth be told, he has a good heart. Ted and the fighting are the only things I like.

Fighting is really my passion. If I wouldn't be able to go to college, I will make money by fighting. Luca always complimented me by how good I was. I had won a couple of times from him, but he would never admit it. He always said he let me win, but we both knew it wasn't true. I was just to good for him. His passion was obviously fighting but he also had a weak point for archery. He would always show me how good he's got and how much proces he had made. Even though I knew nothing about archery. He was completely absorbed in his passion. He made me discover my second passion: knife throwing. He was pretty good at it himself and he gifted me my first pair of knives. I still cherish it to this day and I use it for self protection. I know he would've wanted it like that. He never liked unnecessary violence.

I'm still thinking about him, when I hear someone arriving, and slamming the door shut. My first thought is the person being my dad, going on about the door slamming fact, but then I hear my mother yelling a sentence which makes my stomach turn and all the color drains out of my face.

"Zina, I have a friend with me who would like to meet you!"

•••

Chapter 4 ✔️

Poor Zina, but her situation will become better soon, thrust me ;)

You got to know Luca better this chapter. What do you think of him?

Don't forget to vote, comment and check out my other book!

Much love xx