𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬

18- family dinner

I arrive downstairs and see all my brothers sitting around a big round table. Their chatter quiets down when they notice I'm downstairs and all their faces turn to me all at once. I lock eyes with Lucas and he looks at me reassuring indicating me to speak up.

I open my mouth and close it again. I can't seem to remember any words from my vocabulary, and my throat is closed off. I try to swallow and feel a lump forming in my throat. What do I say to the brothers I never knew I had? What do I say to total strangers who I have absolutely no memories with and didnt even know existed before today? What if they don't like me like their little sister anymore because I've been gone for so long? Adrian said they searched for me but maybe he lied? I can't imagine anyone searching for me so hard for so long.

I stay quiet and focus my eyes on the floor in front of me. I hear my brother whisper to eachother but don't dare to look up at them. I feel a hand touching my back and flinch away from it. I cover my head by holding my arms in front of me.

I should've said something. Now they're mad because I kept quiet. They're going to punish me now. Why do I never know how to do the right things? What's wrong with me?

When I don't feel a hit or a punch I slowly withdraw my arms from my face, only to see Adrian staring at me weirdly with his arm still in the air, where it was positioned earlier.

He was only trying to touch my back..

I replace my arms beside my upper body, where they were before, and just stare back at the ground. I can feel the burning stares of all of my brothers on my body. Suddenly I feel tears forming in my eyes. I don't even know why I'm this emotional. Nothing even happened. Why do I always have to be so extra?

I look up from the ground when I hear one of my brothers mutter something under his breath. He said it loud enough for me to hear but by the looks of it, my other brothers didn't. I heard Diego mutter 'attention seeker' under his breath and I know he's right. I am an attention seeker. Look how I reacted on a kind meant gesture just now. I can't be grateful for once, so I get why Diego thinks so.

I see Diego glaring at me and I nod, indicating I heard what he said and agree with him. He can atleast know I am aware of my annoying and selfish personality. I am selfish. I don't know what I did to be selfish, but everyone always calls me it so I guess I am.

I see a flicker of confusion in Diego's eyes and I suspect an unknown look after. I can't read his minde, nor look behind the thoughts in his eyes, so I assume he's judging me or thinking bad of me. And I can't blame him.

I stare back at the ground and just stay quiet hoping someone would break the killing silence.

"Sit, Zina." I hear a voice say I've never heard. I look up curious and see a man staring at me with a cold, hard look in his eyes. His eyes are, once again, the same color as mine and he presents a scary impression with his with ink covered arms, and venom filled face.

If I'm right and remember what Adrian has said about my oldest brother, this should be him. He looks atleast 3 years older than Adrian, and the oldest from them all.

Adrian told me I could see him as my parent, so does that mean he will also treat me like Raina and Miguel did? I know I deserve it, but I'd rather not be treated like that anymore. Let's just hope I make a good first impression on him.

The oldest brother, who's name I don't know, mentions to the free seat next to Lucas. I'm relieved I don't have to sit next to the brother I don't even know. Besides, me and Lucas already created a bit of a bond by him showing me my room.