𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬

42- menstrual cup

Today, I'm allowed to leave this hospital and go to the house I was born in. I wasn't raised there, but it isn't any less my home.

I think.

I'm feeling anxious when packing my bags and feel the nervousness of all my brothers lingering in the air.

Eleandro wanted to start working, but there was no way he could get Adrian with him, even if he tried his best. At the end they both decided to stay with me, since 'it's new for me', but I know that deep down Eleandro wanted to stay anyway. I just have to stick to that positive thought.

All my brothers are helping me pack my bags, not that I brought much, but they were still willing to help me, as it's still not easy to stand on myself.

I'm folding my clothes, while Lucas is sorting out my bedside table. I don't have many important things in there, but I'd like to take them with me anyway.

"What's this for?" Lucas ask me and I turn around in the wheelchair I'm sitting in.

He's holding my menstrual cup– which is clean, thank God– and is staring at it like he's never seen something like it before. That's probably because he never has.

I see my older brother's eyes widen, as they understand what Lucas's holding in his hand.

"Uhm, Lucas put that down." Adrian tells Lucas, while barely able to contain his laughter.

"Why?" He squeezes it. "It's nice and squishy."

My cheeks redden a little, even though there's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's normal for a woman to have these things right?

I mean, most prefer pads or tampons, but this is reusable and not that expensive in general.

"Lucas, that's a woman's hygiene product." Javi answers, not seeming embarrassed at all, on the contrary of my other brothers. Maybe it's because he has seen these things a lot of times before while studying to become a doctor.

I now see Lucas's cheeks tint a bit too, but it looks like he still doesn't get It because he asks:

"What is it used for?" I slam my hand against my forehead and shake my head because of the stupidity of this boy.

I now see my brothers all sharing a look, as if asking eachother who's going to explain to him.

"It's used to gather the fluids a woman loses at her time of the month." Eleandro answers. Although his cheeks are a little more colored than normally, his face is wiped clean of any embarrassment, nor any other emotion. Even his voice doesn't betray him, as it looks like he's just explaining something to Lucas.

Which is true, but I also get a teeny weeny bit why my other brothers are embarrassed, especially because they never really had a woman in the family, so they're not used to it.

Lucas's eyes widen in shock.

"It goes down there!?" He whispers yell.

Okay, now he is making it embarrassing.

"Yes idiot." Adrian says and he slaps the back of Lucas's head.

"Don't call your brother an idiot Adrian!" Javi lectures Adrian frustrated.

It looks like Javi's motherly side has returned.

"I'm only speaking facts." Adrian mutters under his breath, so soft only I can hear it, and I chuckle.

"Does it hurt?" Lucas asks again with panic and pity in his voice. He really gotta stop now.

I shake my head, and he untenses. He really was scared for me for a second.

"Okay, Lucas, you can stop now." Diego grumbles from the corner of the room, and the venom in his voice makes Lucas finally shut up, which I'm actually kind of thankful for.
_________________________________________

I have folded all my clothes neatly, and we've all packed my other belongings in one big suitcase.

We walk out of the room I've been locked up in for 8 days, and we go to check me out, so another patient can be placed in the now free room.

When we've left the room, we all walk– or roll– out of the hallway, and I don't even think about looking back for a second.

When we come to the admittance, Eleandro and Javi tell us to go wait in the car while they check me out.

Lucas strolls me outside, and I immediately feel the pressure I felt inside the hospital, leave my body completely. I breathe in the fresh air I've not been able to breathe in for 8 days, and I smile for one of the first times in those 8 days.

I look beside me and see Lucas and Adrian already looking down at me with smiles on their faces. Diego already walked to the car on his own.

"Do you like the fresh air mixed with the smell of gasoline, hermanita?" Adrian asks me mocking.
(Little sister)

"I love it." I say, even shocking myself by the talking I just did.

I see Adrian, smiling almost looking relieved, and he laughs lightly at my sarcasm.

"I'm glad it's atleast one of us." He says.

"I feel like I'm third wheeling." Lucas says with a pout, which looks so sad, Adriana an I burst out in laughter.

When Eleandro and Javi come outside, and we are all still laughing, they share a weird look.

"Okay, who's going to tell me where they got the crack from?" Eleandro asks us in such a serious tone, we all laugh even louder.

"Come on, Andro, you know she isn't even allowed to take any. She's on medication." Javi tries to reason with a small smile tugging on his lips now too.

Once we finally convinced Eleandro we aren't high, and haven't taken any crack, we all walk to the car where Diego is already waiting on us.

I frown when I see the boring color this car has. It's black once again, which is the same color as all the other cars. If they have enough money to buy a car, buy a pretty one atleast.

Adrian sees my face, and leans in to my ear.

"What is it?" He whispers against my ear.

"The color." I answer shortly, still not used to speaking full sentences.

"You think it's boring?" He asks, already knowing me well enough.

I nod my head.

"What color do you think would look cool for a car?" He asks me curiously.

I think for a moment, before I answer him:

"Light pink." I think that would be pretty and cool.

He rolls his eyes and laughs a bit.

"Consider it done."

I frown my eyebrows not knowing what he means.

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