𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬

80- finding comfort in grief

16. It's a big number for me. I used to be 15, and I already thought I was old back then. How stupid of me to actually think that. I feel much older and mature now.

I remember celebrating my 15th birthday with Luca, and remember myself to pray for him too when I'm going to pray for myself. He deserves it.

I could celebrate with Ted. I don't know if he knows it's my birthday today, but simply his company is already enough to have a good day. Maybe I could even train for a while with him today if he isn't too busy. Or else I will just sit with him behind the locket if there's a match going on today.

I decide to get out of my bed, and pull on a thick woolen coat, noting the few holes it contains but realizing there's nothing I can do about it, and dress myself in a pair of way too big pants. They almost fall off everytime I walk, but I found a shoelace so I can extend them at my waist.

Once I'm dressed, I pack my bag, containing a sport bra plus a zip up sweater and a pair of leggings.

I skip down the stairs when I can't hear any sound, and quickly fill my rusty water bottle with water from the faucet. I smell the water on accident, and scrunch my nose in disgust when I realize it's rain water. I know, if I drink from this I'll get sick, so I throw the water away and decide to fill my water bottle at Ted's if necessary.

I begin tying my shoelaces, and practically fly out of the house when I hear some rustling coming from upstairs.

I breathe out a foggy breath once I'm outside, and continue my walk towards Ted's. Although it's almost spring, in Texas it looks like we're in the Artic.

I pass some people hurrying to get inside because of the cold on my way, and smile in delight when I get inside of Ted's, being relieved it's as hot as a stove inside.

I look around for Ted, and furrow my eyebrows when I don't immediately spot him.

I walk around the corner, towards the changing rooms, but feel a rush of panic rise up when I can't see him in there either.

I turn my head around and suddenly get attacked by a creature I didn't even get the time from to react. It storms me, and I make a quick manoever to strike the thing and it falls with a shriek on the ground.

"Zina what the fuck?!" I hear a way too familiar voice yell at me.

"Oh my, Ted! Are you okay?" I say crouching down, and now seeing the banner he had in his hands.