𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬

6- being okay

TW

By noon I was already ready to give up and go home. If only I could do that without getting beatings, I would've done it many times. I couldn't go home because i knew he would not doubt beating me until my last breath. There was no way I would survive this kind of  unexceptable behavior.

My ribs were burning, I had a headache and I was tired and dizzy almost the whole time.
I felt sick and knew it wouldn't be long until I collapsed to the floor. So when the bell rang, signaling lunch break, I slowly stood up and made my way out off class.

Before I could even turn right, to the cafeteria, I heard someone calling my name. I turned around and saw Britney standing there with her group of friends. They were all laughing at me and Britney gave a sign saying, come here. I knew she didn't want me there to chitchat with me, but what choice did I have? If I wouldn't obey her she would come to me, already mad. So I sauntered to her, trying hard to hide my pain.

"Hey I was just talking with Chloe about you. Is it true that you don't shower, like ever?" Her bestfriend Chloe snickered because of her hilarious question. Note the sarcasm.

Clenching my teeth, I decided It would be easier for me to just answer the question, that's why I said. "Actually I do
shower Britney, I have a life on the contrary of what you think about me."

When I was finished speaking, Britney laughed and said: "Sure you do, but you can't make many friends, do you? I mean, not trying to be rude but I never saw you with people around you. So answer my question Zina. Is it because you smell or just because no one likes you?" All off her friends laughed at me and whispered things, without doubt about me, in eachother's ears.

I balled my fists, feeling my nails pierce trough my fragile skin, knowing It would leave 5 moon shaped scars on each hand.

I ignored Britney's question and turned around, ready to leave, when I felt a pull at my backpack, making me stumble backwards. I landed on the floor with a loud clap and immediately felt the pain coursing trough me. I looked around and noticed everyone In the hallway staring at me, no remorse in their eyes. I watched my vision become blurry with tears. I didn't care about Britney and her stupid click, but I did care about my reputation at this school.

Before this fiasco everyone ignored me and stayed back, knowing not to mess with me and just let me be. But after this, I knew no one would care about any of that anymore. Teenagers were cruel, and if they could do anything to gain a little more confidence, they would do It without hesitation. There would be no doubt they would leave me alone after this.

I tried to get up by myself, knowing damn well no one would help me but when I tried to get up everything went dizzy and I started seeing black spots trough my vision. Thinking about how I didn't eat anything in the last couple of days, I knew this can't be good. I tried to stand up but it felt like my legs were made of jello and I didn't have the strength to stand on them.

There started to appear more black spots trough my vision, and before I could do anything about it everything went black.
                           ______

"You dirty slut, how dare you steal my food, you don't fucking deserve it!" I felt another kick to the stomach and rolled over. I know I must be bruised and blue by now, but he wouldn't stop kicking and hitting. I'm afraid I won't survive this time. The times before I could barely do anything at all and I've been so close to death, but this time it's going to work. I always knew I'd die in this house. It didn't matter if it would be my own work or Miguel's, I would die here anyway. I would die in my prison, my hell, this house. I couldn't even call it a home anymore. When I was younger it was still my home, now it was just a house. It didn't feel like home anymore. I have no hope in this house being my home anytime soon.