The Ex Friend With Benefits.(girlxgirl)

How We Met.

ISABEL'S POV

I couldn't tell what Meghan wanted to be the outcome of this situation at the moment. This plan seemed awful from. It was all absurd and felt like some sort of game, which could turn bad at any second. I still played along with it. Frankly, I wasn't even sure of what I wanted to do. But I know how I felt. After seeing them in the office so... intimate. I just couldn't picture myself kissing Jayden again that day. Now it was less repulsive to think about, but still a little disturbing especially when the image of Luke all over Jayden flashed into mind. I still wanted Jayden of course. I couldn't deny that I still had feeling for her and was attracted to her. I just didn't know if I could believe her after she went back on her word.

That was something Jayden never did and I respected her for it. Yet, this time she went back on her word. Was she really that terrified of losing her mother? What could be the reason behind it? Was there a missing piece to this puzzle? Was she holding back something from me like I was with her? My situation with my ex was an extremely touchy subject, that I have not addressed with myself. I didn't want to open a can of worms currently. It would make me even more distressed emotionally. 

One thing was for certain though, I had to be truthful with Jayden if we were to give things a shot. I just didn't know how to go back to that time so I could leave those feeling in the past for real. Once I could do it with myself and heal instead of covering things up, I could bring myself to speak about it with Jayden or anyone who wasn't aware of the situation.  I couldn't even make a report about it. Since it happened, I had been paranoid.  I only just stopped looking over my shoulder when I thought about her. I finally stopped asking myself if she was going to come back and hurt me. I got better with time but I still had some issues to work on.. 

One of which was thinking Jayden would treat me just like Dana who lied and manipulated me through the duration of our relationship. The main lie was about her infidelity. I know that Jayden wasn't Dana and she had her reason for her actions, I also know that Jayden and I are not in a committed relationship. It was just difficult to put my trust in her after it all. Our 'situationship' was suffering at the moment. The only thing I had to do was get over the Luke incident and I'd give her another chance in a heartbeat. I would just have to clear my head first.

 I'd have to take my sister-in-law up on her offer to the therapy sessions free of charge. I couldn't keep living like this. I had to get over it and move on. I'd also get to know what this elaborate plan to get Jayden to understand that I didn't have to give her a chance and I am not someone she can walk all over because she is scared. I have feelings too.  What worried me was the unfolding of the plan. How would it all turn out? Not to mention Jayden's calm collected demeanor. Her reaction was frightening . I expected her to explode like she'd done when I kissed her, but I got nothing. 

Was it because she was coming to terms with everything that was happening. She didn't think this was my answer right? I waited for her to decide... well I was about to give up. Regardless of that she couldn't be mad about what I was doing. I just hope she didn't take my date as me an my answer. But I also hope this plan worked as Meghan had planned which solidify Jayden decision of being with me and not losing me. I needed to talk to Meghan soon. She seriously needed to warn me about things she planned to do when it came to my life and relationships. I was in the dark, like a blind person following the directions of a service dog. 

What really had me confused and overwhelmed was the question asked by my sister-in-law. The simple inquiry about how Jay and I met. It made me relive it all over again. Everything from the moment I laid eyes on her to the moment I shut the door in her face as I was forced to end things with her. I went through a rollercoaster of emotions in a matter of seconds. Some emotions felt warm and sweet while others felt cold and bitter. Why would Meghan need to know about how we met? How could this benefit her and the plan. What was there in us becoming acquainted? Was it that she was just curious? I still had to explain it regardless. It was a common question to ask. 'How did you meet?' Right? It was an encompassing question. One in which you be detailed and let them know it all or be succinct with the answer.