The Ex Friend With Benefits.(girlxgirl)

Dent in the wall

ISABEL POV

I stared at the dent in my office wall, I still hadn't covered it up yet. It was just there, the same as it's always been. I walked over to it, reaching my hand up to the spot, I slid my finger along the outline of the dent. I smiled sadly as I remembered how the hole was made. I let out a small laugh and then sighed to myself. Why was I so drawn to this wall now? Every time I walked into my office, my first instinct was to look for it and be near it. Maybe my brain thought it was all I had left of Jayden.

Jayden... It had been almost three weeks now and not a sign of Jayden, not even the slightest of glimpses. She didn't even post on social media anymore, and if she did, it was a random quote. I could only do so much to keep her out of my head. Something shifted when the realization of the situation hit me. She was serious about this break. I knew she kept her word, but I didn't expect to not see her around occasionally. At some point in time, I pulled myself together and decided to focus on the matter at hand. We were on a break. I had to do something to occupy myself and keep my mind off of her.

For now, I was just focused on the restaurant. To distract myself, I would sometimes go in and help out the staff with cooking, cleaning, or anything there was to do really instead of going back home when I was finished up with my work in the office. When I wasn't at work, though, I would sometimes visit a therapist who was not Meghan. She was helping me deal with my past traumas. I became more aware of what I had been doing for the past two or so years since Dana and I unofficially broke up. I had been hiding the scars from everyone, including myself.

Coming to terms with them was a battle. However, my therapist was teaching me that I could do so slowly. I just had to take things one step at a time. Since Jayden was on my so much as well, I told the therapist, she advised that I work on one thing at a time and that the break between Jayden and I was going to be for the best in the end. She claimed that we both had some baggage to let go of before Jayden and I could be anything. I knew she was right for the most part. I hope she was right about us working things out eventually.

A huge part of me felt that whatever Jayden and I could have in the future would be great. I wanted to see where things would go between us, even if that meant we'd crash and burn along the way. I wanted it all with Jayden, the ups the downs, the horrible. I wanted it all every single thing the world would throw at us. Jayden had crawled into my heart a year ago when I was trying to find my way out of a dark place, and now she'd managed to set up camp in there. I was truly grateful to her, and I wanted to know what it would be like to really be with her. Not just for sex and a good time or because we were lonely. I wanted to have a real relationship with her.

I tapped the wall with a smile as I headed off to get started on my work. I had a lot more than usual to work on today, and if I was lucky, I would be able to head over to see my therapist as well. I didn't think I would be so excited to talk to someone about my last relationship. It was just a relief being able to talk about it without being judged or pressured into anything. She was there to listen and give advice. So far, it was looking up. It was helping me move on, so I had to keep it up so I would be better for me and my future relationship.

I glanced at the wall again, I couldn't help but crack a smile.

~ Flashback ~

ISABEL'S POV.

"It's impressive how uncoordinated you designed this. It makes no sense," She raised an eyebrow inspecting the work on my laptop screen.

"Hey I understand exactly what's going on," I huffed as I hunched over Jayden who was on my desk chair working on my laptop, "This sheet is for inventory, this one keeps track of revenue coming in and out, this one is for the employees and staff," I was pointing out how I used the excel workbook to document the business operation. I had it perfectly balanced. No one else understood, which is why I had to come in so often to document it, but it was doing what I needed it to do. "If you click here," I leaned in more, my cheek brushing against Jayden's just a little while my chest rested on her shoulder. It was all unintentional. I put my hand over Jayden's, who was holding the mouse, gently clicking on the feature I wanted, "And here I can make visual representations of anything I want."